How to Deal With an Absent Military Spouse

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Try to prepare yourself mentally for the time without your spouse before deployment begins.

   This involves speaking to your spouse about your feelings, making as much time as possible for each other before they leave, creating keepsakes for them to take with them or for you to keep with you during their absence, etc.
   
   Take pictures together.
   
   This will give both of you portable reminders of each other and of your love.
   
   Other possibilities include their favorite kind of underwear (since they won't be wearing other civilian clothes), a love letter, or (possibly) a customized pillowcase for them to take with them.
   
   Buy a planner with spaces broken down by the hours in the day.
   
   This will help you to fill up all of your time so that you have no time to sit around and miss him/her.
   
   Make plans together before they leave for things you want to accomplish while they are away.
   
   These can be mundane things (repaint a room in the house, etc.) or things that have sentimental value to both of you (make a family quilt, research your ancestors, etc.).
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   Step 2: Join a service group or do your own service project that will take about three months to complete.

   Try putting together a care package project for some of the guys in your spouse’s unit. , Working out reduces stress, increases mental wellness, and releases endorphins, which can help boost your mood. , Use the down time to improve yourself in other ways than simply getting physically fitter.
   
   Read books your spouse has read or recommended in order to feel closer to them, take classes that you always wanted to take (whether it's cooking, dance, languages, or science/literature/photography). , You will not be able to speak with your spouse as much as you both would like to.
   
   Keeping them all inside, however, can damage your emotional health. , Invite company and try to have social gatherings that don't exclusively center around the issue of deployment. , These books should not have to do with the war or politics unless that is the only thing you are interested in. , If he/she was home and you were stressed he/she would tell you to do the same thing! , Even if your spouse does not have regular access to the internet, finding messages from you whenever they get a chance will brighten their day and give them something beautiful to draw strength from. ,,,
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   Step 3: Put together a workout regiment that you can do four days a week for about an hour a day.

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   Step 4: Set a personal goal for yourself that you will have accomplished by the time that your loved one either comes home for leave or returns from his/her deployment.

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   Step 5: Plan a weekly dinner or cup of coffee with a good friend or a family member to talk and vent some of those unheard feelings and thoughts.

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   Step 6: Volunteer to host the weekend sleepover for the kids or volunteer to host a dinner for friends if you don’t have children.

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   Step 7: Buy and read at least three books about something that interests you.

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   Step 8: Take a bubble bath; listen to your favorite music

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   Step 9: and just breathe at least once a week.

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    Step 10: Send him/her random love e-mails to show how much you care.

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    Step 11: Send him/her pictures of you

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    Step 12: your family

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    Step 13: and events that happen so he/she can feel included in your life even though they are far from home.

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    Step 14: Buy a web cam/microphone and subscribe to a Skype account and send him/her the same equipment so that you can see each other occasionally.

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    Step 15: Join your unit Family Readiness Group for support and answers to questions.

Detailed Guide

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