How to Deal with Resentment in a Marriage
Confront problems in the relationship., Trust yourself and your feelings., Determine if your feelings are resentment., Accept that dealing with resentment may mean temporary conflict.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Confront problems in the relationship.
Often, resentment forms when a couple doesn’t discuss problems.
This leads to the problem festering until one or both partners are angry and full of toxic thoughts.
Instead of ending the marriage, you and your partner should discuss the problems that form so you can get them out in the open and work through them.When you feel angry or hurt at your spouse, tell them.
Bring up the problem instead of letting it fester into resentment.
You may say, “I feel angry about something.
I’d like to discuss it with you so it doesn’t become a huge problem in our marriage.” -
Step 2: Trust yourself and your feelings.
Some people don’t bring up their feelings because they don’t trust that their feelings are valid.
They may think they are overreacting or being too sensitive.
This is not true.
Your feelings are valid, even negative ones like hurt, disappointment, and anger.
Allow yourself to feel these things so you can voice them to your partner.Remember that you are half of the marriage.
Your feelings, even those of resentment, are just as important as your spouse’s feelings. , Some people in a marriage think that they are falling out of love with their spouse when actually they feel resentment.
This resentment can make you angry at the other person, not want to be around the other person, or think there are no feelings of love anymore.To determine if you are feeling resentment, take an honest assessment of your feelings.
Are there things that your partner has done that have lead you to feel unappreciated, disappointed, angry, or hurt? Are there problems in your relationship that you haven’t discussed? If the answer to these questions is yes, you may feel resentment. , Many people don’t bring up problems or deal with feelings of resentment because they don’t like conflict in their marriage.
They want to do anything to avoid fighting with their significant other, and instead remain quiet to keep the peace.
This action leads to resentment.
While you may have minor conflict in the marriage for a few hours or days, facing the problems causing the resentment is healthier in the long run.If you have been avoiding saying anything because you don’t want conflict, think about your relationship as it is not with the resentment.
Resentment doesn’t lead to a good marriage.
A bit of uncomfortable conflict, or even some angry feelings, is worth getting through the resentment and saving the marriage. -
Step 3: Determine if your feelings are resentment.
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Step 4: Accept that dealing with resentment may mean temporary conflict.
Detailed Guide
Often, resentment forms when a couple doesn’t discuss problems.
This leads to the problem festering until one or both partners are angry and full of toxic thoughts.
Instead of ending the marriage, you and your partner should discuss the problems that form so you can get them out in the open and work through them.When you feel angry or hurt at your spouse, tell them.
Bring up the problem instead of letting it fester into resentment.
You may say, “I feel angry about something.
I’d like to discuss it with you so it doesn’t become a huge problem in our marriage.”
Some people don’t bring up their feelings because they don’t trust that their feelings are valid.
They may think they are overreacting or being too sensitive.
This is not true.
Your feelings are valid, even negative ones like hurt, disappointment, and anger.
Allow yourself to feel these things so you can voice them to your partner.Remember that you are half of the marriage.
Your feelings, even those of resentment, are just as important as your spouse’s feelings. , Some people in a marriage think that they are falling out of love with their spouse when actually they feel resentment.
This resentment can make you angry at the other person, not want to be around the other person, or think there are no feelings of love anymore.To determine if you are feeling resentment, take an honest assessment of your feelings.
Are there things that your partner has done that have lead you to feel unappreciated, disappointed, angry, or hurt? Are there problems in your relationship that you haven’t discussed? If the answer to these questions is yes, you may feel resentment. , Many people don’t bring up problems or deal with feelings of resentment because they don’t like conflict in their marriage.
They want to do anything to avoid fighting with their significant other, and instead remain quiet to keep the peace.
This action leads to resentment.
While you may have minor conflict in the marriage for a few hours or days, facing the problems causing the resentment is healthier in the long run.If you have been avoiding saying anything because you don’t want conflict, think about your relationship as it is not with the resentment.
Resentment doesn’t lead to a good marriage.
A bit of uncomfortable conflict, or even some angry feelings, is worth getting through the resentment and saving the marriage.
About the Author
Barbara Brown
Committed to making cooking accessible and understandable for everyone.
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