How to Define Love

Define love by thinking of what it means to you., Look at how the ancient Greeks broke down love into four categories., Be aware of moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything. , Think of the reasons why you love this person., Think about...

9 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Define love by thinking of what it means to you.

    If you want, be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.

    The dictionary defines love in several ways in which we use the word.

    For example, love is:
    A strong positive emotion of; affection or pleasure; e.g, "His joy for her affection for him" Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking: "The theater was her first love". "I love French food".

    Beloved: a beloved person; used as a term of endearment.

    A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; e.g., "She was his first love" or "She loves her husband." A score of zero in tennis or squash: "It was 40-love!" Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people. e.g. "They made love." "He hadn't had any love in months".
  2. Step 2: Look at how the ancient Greeks broke down love into four categories.

    Think of which category of love you feel for the people you are close to.

    Agape is unconditional love.

    It is love by "choice" even if you are not pleased.

    A good example is "God loves us with our faults".

    Philia is charity or brotherly love, guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.

    This is why Philadelphia is called the "City of Brotherly Love".

    Storge is the word for family love and the physical show of "affection"

    the need for physical touch.

    Sometimes it's the love between exceptional friends (the movie Grumpy Old Men for example).

    Eros is the physical "sexual" desire, intercourse.

    It is the root word of erotic, and eroticism. ,, Is it truly love you feel or just a connection that can easily be dissolved? If there is something to gain, you might be drawn to that, and your desire for that is confused with love. , Is it just attraction? , "Love is like..."

    Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal.

    This is the physical side.

    Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.

    Commitment is the conscious decision to stick together for the long haul: are you willing to take that step? , No matter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in the path of true and pure love, love will endure.

    This may be far from reality, but many find it a comforting fantasy.

    Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there are also those situations where love does fail.

    This can be easily said to have been due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (if lovers are star crossed and are meant to find each other).

    Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money; war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shatter marriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil.

    Also in some philosophical terms nothing lasts forever, not love either.

    Nothing has ever lasted forever since the dawn of time, nor shall anyone ever know if anything will.

    This is a paradox since we pledge love for eternity, although eternity cannot by definition have a conclusion.

    Also if the human mind were somehow able to last eons, human nature dictates that anger, boredom, and/or irritation will end any relationship given enough time.
  3. Step 3: Be aware of moments when you feel love towards anyone or anything.

  4. Step 4: Think of the reasons why you love this person.

  5. Step 5: Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change.

  6. Step 6: Capture your feelings in metaphor

  7. Step 7: poetry or song.

  8. Step 8: Define love like a psychologist: Break love into three components.

  9. Step 9: Ask yourself if love is forever.

Detailed Guide

If you want, be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.

The dictionary defines love in several ways in which we use the word.

For example, love is:
A strong positive emotion of; affection or pleasure; e.g, "His joy for her affection for him" Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking: "The theater was her first love". "I love French food".

Beloved: a beloved person; used as a term of endearment.

A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; e.g., "She was his first love" or "She loves her husband." A score of zero in tennis or squash: "It was 40-love!" Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people. e.g. "They made love." "He hadn't had any love in months".

Think of which category of love you feel for the people you are close to.

Agape is unconditional love.

It is love by "choice" even if you are not pleased.

A good example is "God loves us with our faults".

Philia is charity or brotherly love, guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.

This is why Philadelphia is called the "City of Brotherly Love".

Storge is the word for family love and the physical show of "affection"

the need for physical touch.

Sometimes it's the love between exceptional friends (the movie Grumpy Old Men for example).

Eros is the physical "sexual" desire, intercourse.

It is the root word of erotic, and eroticism. ,, Is it truly love you feel or just a connection that can easily be dissolved? If there is something to gain, you might be drawn to that, and your desire for that is confused with love. , Is it just attraction? , "Love is like..."

Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal.

This is the physical side.

Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.

Commitment is the conscious decision to stick together for the long haul: are you willing to take that step? , No matter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in the path of true and pure love, love will endure.

This may be far from reality, but many find it a comforting fantasy.

Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there are also those situations where love does fail.

This can be easily said to have been due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (if lovers are star crossed and are meant to find each other).

Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money; war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shatter marriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil.

Also in some philosophical terms nothing lasts forever, not love either.

Nothing has ever lasted forever since the dawn of time, nor shall anyone ever know if anything will.

This is a paradox since we pledge love for eternity, although eternity cannot by definition have a conclusion.

Also if the human mind were somehow able to last eons, human nature dictates that anger, boredom, and/or irritation will end any relationship given enough time.

About the Author

R

Robert Cook

Creates helpful guides on lifestyle to inspire and educate readers.

50 articles
View all articles

Rate This Guide

--
Loading...
5
0
4
0
3
0
2
0
1
0

How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: