How to Earn Your Parents' Trust
Show respect., Be honest., Listen to what your parents have to say., Don't try to shame your parents., Stay on task., Get up and do it., Clean the house without being asked., Try to act responsible, mature and grounded., Communicate., Ask, don't...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Show respect.
This goes both ways.You need to give your parents respect and they should do the same for you.
Recognize that while you may be in different positions and coming from different points of view, each deserves to be treated with respect. -
Step 2: Be honest.
Lying is a horrible thing to do.
If you lie, you're only making problems bigger, and if you lie, your parents will never trust you (nor will many other people).
This is a fact.
If you've done something wrong, lying about it won't make matters better for anyone
- including yourself
- in the long-term.
And it's the long-term that generates trust.
Losing a parent's support just because they don't agree with character and moral standards is not allowable, hence focusing on the common ground and being honest about that is helpful.
There is an exception if you are an older individual who is responsible enough to make their own decisions and want to pursue life with what they believe is true to their individuality.
However, still show respect. , You're not the only one with opinions
- your parents have opinions too, founded on years of hard won experience.
Explain to your parents that you want to hear what they think of your situation or what you are going through.
Always take what they say into mind. , This almost never works, and most of the time your parents will become even more reluctant to trust you if you do this.
Just admit you were wrong if you were, or admit you're too young or inexperienced if that's the case.
They want to know that you understand why they're doing this, even if you don't. , For example, if you are asked to do something by your parent, do it right away without any questions and stay on task while you do it.
A wonderful example of this would be reading this article when you were asked to do your homework! , If you believe something is right, do it.
If your parents still don't seem to believe in you, prove to them that you are capable and deserving of their trust.
Thinking and planning won't get anyone far; you have to get out there and show them just who you are and why they should trust you. , Ask your mom or dad if you can help with dinner.
Ask your parents if they need help with something.
But don't constantly ask, or it will make you seem too nice or annoying.
It's best to know what needs doing and just get on with it––trust that your help is noticed, because it will be. , Instead of going out with your friend to the mall or a party, stay home and babysit your younger sibling or get some homework done.
Be grounded, not giddy, bad-tempered, or hyper.
If you're a naturally cheerful person, don't sweat.
Just remember to take deep breaths to calm and center yourself.
Don't tone down your personality, tone down your energy.
Simply take the level of childishness down a notch and act maturely. , If you have something to discuss with your parents, make sure that you get it out and tell them.
Respect each other.
Do the best you can to become friends with your parents.
Do things around the house for them, and let them share their opinions with you. , This probably seems scary, but ask them why they believe you are too young for something, or what you did wrong in the past.
Don't negotiate, ask what can be done on your part in the future.
For instance, if you want a later curfew than 10:00, instead of asking, "How about 10:45? Fine, 10:30?" say something like, "So maybe my new curfew could be 10:45 if I start finishing my homework before dinner?"
If your parents seem upset, ask them what's wrong.
If they ask you about your day or what happened at school don't say, "It's none of your business!" Be honest and talk to them. , After you feel like your parents really trust you, ask them if they can do something big like go to a party over the weekend, walk home from school, stuff like that.
Don't get mad at them and storm off if they say no.
Instead thank them for sharing their opinion.
They might be shocked at how polite your acting and they might change their mind later.
Do not be mad if they don't. , Try not to talk back or use snide comments if your parents say something you don't particularly agree with! This may just earn you the trust you would like. , And while nobody's perfect, one little screw up can change the way your parents view for a long time.
And that view of you might get in the way of enjoying yourself or participating in activities you love or wish to join.
As a result, it's important to gain back the trust you've lost from your parents. , You can learn from it and do better next time around.
After you've made your mistake, acknowledge what you did wrong and take responsibility for it.
If or when your parents confront you about it, don't make excuses for why things went wrong or tell them it's not a big deal.
Simply own up to it and show them that it was indeed a fault and you should have known better.
Also let them know that you don't intend on ever doing it again. , After making certain mistakes parents might start to hold back on you and probably won't let you do things that they normally would.
This is where gaining their trust will come in.
You want to start with small steps while trying to be on your best behavior.
Show them that you are responsible by doing the dishes, not waiting for them to finish up chores around the house, taking care of your siblings, and by being mature around them. , Once your parents notice a sudden change in your behavior from childish to mature they might start to reconsider, especially if you haven't been doing anything wrong at all since the mistake.
As such, you might want to continue what you're doing, wait for the right time and then speak to them.
When speaking to your parents, you might want to bring up the fact that you know you've done something wrong and you've certainly learned from it.
You should also mention the progress you've been making, how you haven't gotten into any trouble, and how you've become more responsible.
You want to ask them to think about giving you another chance. , Do not rush them and do not stop behaving or taking responsibility because you don't want them to think that you were only being good for the moment so you could go out or have fun or freedom.
You want them to believe that you actually learned something and truly are changing.
Be patient and positive. , Once your parents have made their final decision be sure to thank them.
Don't do anything crazy, don't lie, or cross the line.
Remember how hard you worked to gain their trust back.
Remind yourself that it wasn't easy and there's no need to ruin it all when you've already come so far.
Be proud of yourself and keep up the good work. -
Step 3: Listen to what your parents have to say.
-
Step 4: Don't try to shame your parents.
-
Step 5: Stay on task.
-
Step 6: Get up and do it.
-
Step 7: Clean the house without being asked.
-
Step 8: Try to act responsible
-
Step 9: mature and grounded.
-
Step 10: Communicate.
-
Step 11: don't demand.
-
Step 12: Be interested in your parents.
-
Step 13: Try asking next time.
-
Step 14: Zip it up.
-
Step 15: Understand that while making mistakes is a part of everyday life that can happen to anyone
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Step 16: it can also affect the way that others think about you.
-
Step 17: Accept that you cannot change the mistake but you can make amends.
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Step 18: Take baby steps.
-
Step 19: Be persistent with your changed behavior and better attitude.
-
Step 20: Give your parents time to go over everything.
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Step 21: Be thankful and stay reformed.
Detailed Guide
This goes both ways.You need to give your parents respect and they should do the same for you.
Recognize that while you may be in different positions and coming from different points of view, each deserves to be treated with respect.
Lying is a horrible thing to do.
If you lie, you're only making problems bigger, and if you lie, your parents will never trust you (nor will many other people).
This is a fact.
If you've done something wrong, lying about it won't make matters better for anyone
- including yourself
- in the long-term.
And it's the long-term that generates trust.
Losing a parent's support just because they don't agree with character and moral standards is not allowable, hence focusing on the common ground and being honest about that is helpful.
There is an exception if you are an older individual who is responsible enough to make their own decisions and want to pursue life with what they believe is true to their individuality.
However, still show respect. , You're not the only one with opinions
- your parents have opinions too, founded on years of hard won experience.
Explain to your parents that you want to hear what they think of your situation or what you are going through.
Always take what they say into mind. , This almost never works, and most of the time your parents will become even more reluctant to trust you if you do this.
Just admit you were wrong if you were, or admit you're too young or inexperienced if that's the case.
They want to know that you understand why they're doing this, even if you don't. , For example, if you are asked to do something by your parent, do it right away without any questions and stay on task while you do it.
A wonderful example of this would be reading this article when you were asked to do your homework! , If you believe something is right, do it.
If your parents still don't seem to believe in you, prove to them that you are capable and deserving of their trust.
Thinking and planning won't get anyone far; you have to get out there and show them just who you are and why they should trust you. , Ask your mom or dad if you can help with dinner.
Ask your parents if they need help with something.
But don't constantly ask, or it will make you seem too nice or annoying.
It's best to know what needs doing and just get on with it––trust that your help is noticed, because it will be. , Instead of going out with your friend to the mall or a party, stay home and babysit your younger sibling or get some homework done.
Be grounded, not giddy, bad-tempered, or hyper.
If you're a naturally cheerful person, don't sweat.
Just remember to take deep breaths to calm and center yourself.
Don't tone down your personality, tone down your energy.
Simply take the level of childishness down a notch and act maturely. , If you have something to discuss with your parents, make sure that you get it out and tell them.
Respect each other.
Do the best you can to become friends with your parents.
Do things around the house for them, and let them share their opinions with you. , This probably seems scary, but ask them why they believe you are too young for something, or what you did wrong in the past.
Don't negotiate, ask what can be done on your part in the future.
For instance, if you want a later curfew than 10:00, instead of asking, "How about 10:45? Fine, 10:30?" say something like, "So maybe my new curfew could be 10:45 if I start finishing my homework before dinner?"
If your parents seem upset, ask them what's wrong.
If they ask you about your day or what happened at school don't say, "It's none of your business!" Be honest and talk to them. , After you feel like your parents really trust you, ask them if they can do something big like go to a party over the weekend, walk home from school, stuff like that.
Don't get mad at them and storm off if they say no.
Instead thank them for sharing their opinion.
They might be shocked at how polite your acting and they might change their mind later.
Do not be mad if they don't. , Try not to talk back or use snide comments if your parents say something you don't particularly agree with! This may just earn you the trust you would like. , And while nobody's perfect, one little screw up can change the way your parents view for a long time.
And that view of you might get in the way of enjoying yourself or participating in activities you love or wish to join.
As a result, it's important to gain back the trust you've lost from your parents. , You can learn from it and do better next time around.
After you've made your mistake, acknowledge what you did wrong and take responsibility for it.
If or when your parents confront you about it, don't make excuses for why things went wrong or tell them it's not a big deal.
Simply own up to it and show them that it was indeed a fault and you should have known better.
Also let them know that you don't intend on ever doing it again. , After making certain mistakes parents might start to hold back on you and probably won't let you do things that they normally would.
This is where gaining their trust will come in.
You want to start with small steps while trying to be on your best behavior.
Show them that you are responsible by doing the dishes, not waiting for them to finish up chores around the house, taking care of your siblings, and by being mature around them. , Once your parents notice a sudden change in your behavior from childish to mature they might start to reconsider, especially if you haven't been doing anything wrong at all since the mistake.
As such, you might want to continue what you're doing, wait for the right time and then speak to them.
When speaking to your parents, you might want to bring up the fact that you know you've done something wrong and you've certainly learned from it.
You should also mention the progress you've been making, how you haven't gotten into any trouble, and how you've become more responsible.
You want to ask them to think about giving you another chance. , Do not rush them and do not stop behaving or taking responsibility because you don't want them to think that you were only being good for the moment so you could go out or have fun or freedom.
You want them to believe that you actually learned something and truly are changing.
Be patient and positive. , Once your parents have made their final decision be sure to thank them.
Don't do anything crazy, don't lie, or cross the line.
Remember how hard you worked to gain their trust back.
Remind yourself that it wasn't easy and there's no need to ruin it all when you've already come so far.
Be proud of yourself and keep up the good work.
About the Author
Teresa Kim
Enthusiastic about teaching DIY projects techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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