How to Encourage Adult Kids to Accept Your New Spouse
Reassure your love for them., Explain that your relationship will not suffer., Tell them your stepchildren will not take their place., Talk to them about how you feel.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Reassure your love for them.
Children, even those who are grown, may feel threatened by a new spouse.
They might think that your love for them will lessen now that you have a new person in your life.
Reassure them that you will love them the same, no matter what.
For example, you could say to them, “You never have to worry about me loving you any less, especially just because I married someone.
You will always be my child and I will always love you, no matter what.” It may take you saying this more than once, but eventually your child should understand. -
Step 2: Explain that your relationship will not suffer.
Your children may believe that a new stepparent in the family will take away from your closeness.
In essence, they may feel like they are being replaced.
Assure them that your spouse will only add to the family, not take anything away.
Show them your relationship is a constant by not breaking your routine.
Changing anything about your relationship with your children after you are married can send the message that they aren’t a priority to you anymore., Everyone has insecurities, even adult children.
Your children may fear that your new spouse’s children will come into the family dynamic and take their place.
Let them know that would never happen.
Consider trying to help your stepchildren and children become closer.
Invite them on outings with you, ask them all to come over to your home, and encourage them to spend time together.
Avoid pushing the topic if it is clear that they do not like each other and don’t want to make the effort of building a relationship.Remember that this will all take time, but by initiating the first contact you are paving the way for possible future relationships. , You may be a parent, but you still have the right to be happy, even if your children seem like they don’t want you to.
Let them know that how they are behaving is hurting you.
They may not realize how their behavior is affecting you.
For example, you could say to them, “I understand you’re not too fond of my new spouse.
However, your behavior towards them is not only disrespectful to them, but it’s disrespectful to me, as well.
You don’t have to like them, but I want you to show respect.” Asking your children to welcome your new spouse into the family isn’t too much to ask, and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing so.In fact, not speaking up might align you with your children against your spouse. -
Step 3: Tell them your stepchildren will not take their place.
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Step 4: Talk to them about how you feel.
Detailed Guide
Children, even those who are grown, may feel threatened by a new spouse.
They might think that your love for them will lessen now that you have a new person in your life.
Reassure them that you will love them the same, no matter what.
For example, you could say to them, “You never have to worry about me loving you any less, especially just because I married someone.
You will always be my child and I will always love you, no matter what.” It may take you saying this more than once, but eventually your child should understand.
Your children may believe that a new stepparent in the family will take away from your closeness.
In essence, they may feel like they are being replaced.
Assure them that your spouse will only add to the family, not take anything away.
Show them your relationship is a constant by not breaking your routine.
Changing anything about your relationship with your children after you are married can send the message that they aren’t a priority to you anymore., Everyone has insecurities, even adult children.
Your children may fear that your new spouse’s children will come into the family dynamic and take their place.
Let them know that would never happen.
Consider trying to help your stepchildren and children become closer.
Invite them on outings with you, ask them all to come over to your home, and encourage them to spend time together.
Avoid pushing the topic if it is clear that they do not like each other and don’t want to make the effort of building a relationship.Remember that this will all take time, but by initiating the first contact you are paving the way for possible future relationships. , You may be a parent, but you still have the right to be happy, even if your children seem like they don’t want you to.
Let them know that how they are behaving is hurting you.
They may not realize how their behavior is affecting you.
For example, you could say to them, “I understand you’re not too fond of my new spouse.
However, your behavior towards them is not only disrespectful to them, but it’s disrespectful to me, as well.
You don’t have to like them, but I want you to show respect.” Asking your children to welcome your new spouse into the family isn’t too much to ask, and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing so.In fact, not speaking up might align you with your children against your spouse.
About the Author
Jessica Adams
Creates helpful guides on hobbies to inspire and educate readers.
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