How to End Attitudes of Entitlement in Your Marriage
Ask yourself if you think showing love equals deserving love., Question if your work ethic makes you feel entitled., Look at what you’ve given up for your spouse and family., Consider your social group and their impact on your marriage.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask yourself if you think showing love equals deserving love.
Entitlement is all about believing that because you do something, you are owed something in return.
Do you feel that you care for your spouse a considerable amount and deserve the same amount of love and care in return? If so, you feel entitled to getting exactly what you give.
Hopefully, you put care and love into a relationship because you feel and know it is the right thing to do.
If you do it simply so that you’ll get it back, you’ll only end up disappointed.
This mentality will likely result in you feeling what you get back is inadequate compared to what you put in. -
Step 2: Question if your work ethic makes you feel entitled.
It’s common and natural to want a “thank you” when you support your family.
Perhaps you expect it because you put in long hours at the office every day.
Maybe because you take care of the home and the kids, you think you deserve an attitude of gratitude from your spouse.
Feelings of entitlement don’t necessarily just come in the form of wanting a “thank you.” One spouse may believe they deserve presents or even sex because of what they do.
Entitlement refers to feeling that you are owed something, no matter what it is.
Some spouses take advantage of this and hold it above the other spouse’s head, particularly in the case of sex., You or your spouse may believe that the other is indebted to them because of sacrifices they’ve had to make during the course of your relationship.
Sacrifices are inherent in all relationships--marriages, parent-child relationships, and friendships alike.
Comparing sacrifices will only lead to resentment and become a burden to your marriage.
If you’ve given up your career to stay home with the kids, you may think your spouse owes you because of this.
Perhaps you moved away from your family to be with your spouse.
As a result, you may have a sense of entitlement., As hard as it is to swallow, your friends could be contributing to the sense of entitlement felt in your marriage.
Like the old saying goes, "birds of a feather flock together." It may be time to assess the opinions, ideas, and beliefs of your social group to determine how they are factoring into the imbalance happening in your marital relationship.
For instance, you could be listening to your friends who tell you that your spouse not going above and beyond for an anniversary or birthday is a bad sign.
So, you pressure them to spend excess money on an extravagant gift or vacation that you couldn't actually afford.
If the ideals of your friends or acquaintances are impacting your marriage, you may need to learn how to tune out their feedback, or get some distance altogether. -
Step 3: Look at what you’ve given up for your spouse and family.
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Step 4: Consider your social group and their impact on your marriage.
Detailed Guide
Entitlement is all about believing that because you do something, you are owed something in return.
Do you feel that you care for your spouse a considerable amount and deserve the same amount of love and care in return? If so, you feel entitled to getting exactly what you give.
Hopefully, you put care and love into a relationship because you feel and know it is the right thing to do.
If you do it simply so that you’ll get it back, you’ll only end up disappointed.
This mentality will likely result in you feeling what you get back is inadequate compared to what you put in.
It’s common and natural to want a “thank you” when you support your family.
Perhaps you expect it because you put in long hours at the office every day.
Maybe because you take care of the home and the kids, you think you deserve an attitude of gratitude from your spouse.
Feelings of entitlement don’t necessarily just come in the form of wanting a “thank you.” One spouse may believe they deserve presents or even sex because of what they do.
Entitlement refers to feeling that you are owed something, no matter what it is.
Some spouses take advantage of this and hold it above the other spouse’s head, particularly in the case of sex., You or your spouse may believe that the other is indebted to them because of sacrifices they’ve had to make during the course of your relationship.
Sacrifices are inherent in all relationships--marriages, parent-child relationships, and friendships alike.
Comparing sacrifices will only lead to resentment and become a burden to your marriage.
If you’ve given up your career to stay home with the kids, you may think your spouse owes you because of this.
Perhaps you moved away from your family to be with your spouse.
As a result, you may have a sense of entitlement., As hard as it is to swallow, your friends could be contributing to the sense of entitlement felt in your marriage.
Like the old saying goes, "birds of a feather flock together." It may be time to assess the opinions, ideas, and beliefs of your social group to determine how they are factoring into the imbalance happening in your marital relationship.
For instance, you could be listening to your friends who tell you that your spouse not going above and beyond for an anniversary or birthday is a bad sign.
So, you pressure them to spend excess money on an extravagant gift or vacation that you couldn't actually afford.
If the ideals of your friends or acquaintances are impacting your marriage, you may need to learn how to tune out their feedback, or get some distance altogether.
About the Author
Ann Alvarez
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow creative arts tutorials.
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