How to Figure Out Whether or Not It's a Date

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Ask yourself if you want it to be a date.

   The answer to this question may influence your approach to how you ask the person whether or not they are asking you on a date.
   
   Are you interested in this person, or are you worried that they have romantic feelings for you when you don't feel that way about them? Try writing in a journal, talking to a trusted friend, or just spending some time thinking about how you truly feel about this person and what you'd like your relationship to be.
2. 2

   Step 2: Work up the nerve to ask.

   You may feel uncomfortable asking the person outright, as it is a slightly awkward situation, so it may be necessary to build up your courage beforehand.
   
   Being courageous means you acknowledge your fear (fear that they will say no, that you will feel uncomfortable, that someone will get their feelings hurt) and press forward despite that fear.
   
   Try faking it.
   
   Pretending that you feel confident and courageous can trick your brain and help you actually feel confident.
   
   Practice how you will ask and how you will respond in different scenarios.
   
   What will you say if they say yes? If they say no? If they say they're not sure? You may want to write out your responses or practice aloud.
   
   Remind yourself that, while it may seem daunting, you are saving yourself a lot of time and potential heartache and anguish by being direct.
   
   If you are interested in the person and they say it's not a date, you can take some time to deal with your disappointment and then move on.
   
   If you don't ask, you may waste days, weeks, or months trying to figure it out and possibly missing out on meeting people who do want to date you. , Is this a friend or someone you don't know very well? If it's a friend, asking over a text message may be to casual.
   
   Ask to speak with them in person or over the phone so you can use body language and tone to your advantage.
   
   Text messages are too easy to misinterpret, and may make it seem like you don't really care or take it seriously.
   
   If it's someone you don't know that well, a text might be okay, but consider talking on the phone to minimize any mixed signals.
   
   Also, consider asking before the date if you think you will feel on-edge and be unable to enjoy yourself when hanging out (you may be worried you will have to fend of a kiss at some point, for instance).
   
   You can also ask during the date, but think about how the other person might feel.
   
   Maybe they've spent half the date thinking they are out with their dream partner, only to have you ask half-way through dinner "Wait, do you think this is a date?" Talking about it beforehand gives both of you the chance to back out of the date if you want to.
   
   You may also be questioning what your hangout meant afterwards when you didn't have any questions before.
   
   For example, maybe you thought it was a date, but the other person didn't try to kiss you or send any "date" vibes.
   
   Was it a date or were they just nervous? It's okay to ask afterwards, saying something like, "I had a really great time last night, but I'm feeling a little confused about where we stand.
   
   Was that a date?"
   
   Be kind, sincere, and honest when you ask the person if they are asking you are on a date or not.
   
   Don't laugh or act surprised when you ask, such as saying, "Oh my God, did you think this was a date?!" It's okay to acknowledge that it is an awkward or uncomfortable situation — just keep the other person's feelings in mind.
   
   Say something like, “I feel weird asking this.
   
   I honestly was not sure what you meant when you asked to see me tonight.
   
   Are we just hanging out as friends or is it a date?” Or you could say, “I know this is kind of awkward to say, but I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page before we go out this weekend.
   
   Is this a date or something more casual?” , Asking cuts right to the chase, and you need to remember that the answer might not be what you want to hear.
   
   Know that you may be disappointed by their response, or you may have to let them down if they think it's a date and you're not interested.
   
   Run through these scenarios before you ask so you'll be prepared to handle any response.
   
   Rejection hurts, whether you're the one being rejected or you have to do the rejecting.
   
   It's okay to feel disappointed or sad if things don't turn out the way you hoped.
   
   If the person says no and you were hoping for a yes, it's okay to say something like, "Oh, that's kind of disappointing.
   
   I really like you and it really seemed like you might be asking me out." You can follow up with, "I really like spending time with you, but I don't think I can do it as just friends, so I'm going to have to cancel" if you would prefer not to hang out after all.
   
   If the person says yes and you were hoping for a no, try something like, "I think you're an amazing person, but I don't have romantic feelings for you.
   
   I'd really love to still hang out, but if you're not up to it anymore, that's totally fine." If you and the other person agree that it is or isn't a date, you can laugh off the temporary awkwardness and you can enjoy your time together without worrying about what it "is."
3. 3

   Step 3: Think about the best time and way to ask.

4. 4

   Step 4: Ask if it’s a date.

5. 5

   Step 5: Be prepared for the answer.

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