How to Forget Your Ex Girlfriend
Give yourself time., Use your personal space., Resist the temptation to call., Write down your thoughts and emotions., Write down your hopes and interests., Talk to a confidant.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Give yourself time.
It's a terrible thing to go through a rough breakup.
It would be nice if there was some way to force yourself to pick up and move on at the drop of a hat, but that's just not how people work.
Like it or not, you're going to need time to heal.
This guide can only help guide the healing and hasten it somewhat.
It can't reduce the time you'll need beyond a certain amount. -
Step 2: Use your personal space.
Maybe you own a home; maybe you only have half a bedroom to call your own.
Whatever the case, find times and places where you can be alone with your thoughts, and let them come naturally.
When you have personal space, you have no restrictions on your thoughts.
Knowing you have a place where you can be totally honest with yourself will help you cope with your anger and sadness in other areas of your life.
If you don't have any useful space at home, try visiting a nearby park or schoolyard at a time when few other people are using it.
Find an out-of-the-way corner and stay there for a while.
If your personal space reminds you of your ex-girlfriend, rearrange it.
Take down and hide anything that reminds you of your time together, and give the whole area a fresh look by moving furniture, changing decorations, or donating/selling extra stuff.
Consider meditation during your personal time, to help you sort things out in your head.
There are various meditation methods; the most basic is to sit and breathe evenly, focusing on the physical sensation of your own body, until your thoughts become clearer and less overwhelming. , Especially after longer-term relationships, the urge to get back in touch with your ex can be overwhelming.
Do your very best to resist it; it will only make things worse in the long run.
Try keeping a tally of all the times you start to get in touch with your ex-girlfriend.
The act of keeping track will remind you to stop.
If your ex is the one getting in touch with you, things become more complicated.
It's best to avoid her as much as possible, if you can.
Try to explain to her that you need more time to get over her.
If she still cares at all, she'll do her best to respect your wishes.
If she doesn't seem to be respecting your request, don't be too angry with her.
It usually means she is suffering almost as much as you are, and simply lacks your self-discipline. , Write as much or as little as you want, but write something.
Often, you'll find that when you start writing, you won't be able to stop quickly.
Don't worry about the quality of your writing.
Grammar, word choice, and other such things don't matter one bit.
Once you've written out a whole diatribe, burn it or tear it into pieces and dump it.
This act of “sending away” what you wrote is a very powerful psychological coping tool.
Don't send, or plan to send, any of your writing to your ex – not even a letter.
Any movement you make towards her, even in bitterness or frustration, is a step in the wrong direction.
Remember, you're trying to cut the ties that bind, not tangle them. , Whenever you're feeling self-possessed enough that you don't need to vent in your writing, try listing your talents, hobbies, interests, ambitions, and dreams.
You'll be reminded of how much else there is in your life aside from your ex.
Organize these items however you want.
Try ordered lists, or just draw a big web of connected ideas.
Every time you hit on something that really excites or interests you, take special note of it.
You have the time and freedom to pursue these things again, now that you're single. , If you're lucky enough to have one, a trusted confidant can be a great way to unload some of your emotional burden.
If you don't have a person you can trust who will sit and listen to you, consider paying for a few sessions with a counselor.
Be absolutely sure your confidant is someone you can trust.
You're very vulnerable right now, and one casual word from him or her to the wrong person could come back around and hurt you.
Make it clear that you want this to stay strictly between the two of you.
Give yourself a few minutes to get started.
You'll feel embarrassed and silly at first, but if you talk for a couple of minutes and see that your confidant isn't judging or ignoring you, the words will start coming faster than you can keep up. -
Step 3: Resist the temptation to call.
-
Step 4: Write down your thoughts and emotions.
-
Step 5: Write down your hopes and interests.
-
Step 6: Talk to a confidant.
Detailed Guide
It's a terrible thing to go through a rough breakup.
It would be nice if there was some way to force yourself to pick up and move on at the drop of a hat, but that's just not how people work.
Like it or not, you're going to need time to heal.
This guide can only help guide the healing and hasten it somewhat.
It can't reduce the time you'll need beyond a certain amount.
Maybe you own a home; maybe you only have half a bedroom to call your own.
Whatever the case, find times and places where you can be alone with your thoughts, and let them come naturally.
When you have personal space, you have no restrictions on your thoughts.
Knowing you have a place where you can be totally honest with yourself will help you cope with your anger and sadness in other areas of your life.
If you don't have any useful space at home, try visiting a nearby park or schoolyard at a time when few other people are using it.
Find an out-of-the-way corner and stay there for a while.
If your personal space reminds you of your ex-girlfriend, rearrange it.
Take down and hide anything that reminds you of your time together, and give the whole area a fresh look by moving furniture, changing decorations, or donating/selling extra stuff.
Consider meditation during your personal time, to help you sort things out in your head.
There are various meditation methods; the most basic is to sit and breathe evenly, focusing on the physical sensation of your own body, until your thoughts become clearer and less overwhelming. , Especially after longer-term relationships, the urge to get back in touch with your ex can be overwhelming.
Do your very best to resist it; it will only make things worse in the long run.
Try keeping a tally of all the times you start to get in touch with your ex-girlfriend.
The act of keeping track will remind you to stop.
If your ex is the one getting in touch with you, things become more complicated.
It's best to avoid her as much as possible, if you can.
Try to explain to her that you need more time to get over her.
If she still cares at all, she'll do her best to respect your wishes.
If she doesn't seem to be respecting your request, don't be too angry with her.
It usually means she is suffering almost as much as you are, and simply lacks your self-discipline. , Write as much or as little as you want, but write something.
Often, you'll find that when you start writing, you won't be able to stop quickly.
Don't worry about the quality of your writing.
Grammar, word choice, and other such things don't matter one bit.
Once you've written out a whole diatribe, burn it or tear it into pieces and dump it.
This act of “sending away” what you wrote is a very powerful psychological coping tool.
Don't send, or plan to send, any of your writing to your ex – not even a letter.
Any movement you make towards her, even in bitterness or frustration, is a step in the wrong direction.
Remember, you're trying to cut the ties that bind, not tangle them. , Whenever you're feeling self-possessed enough that you don't need to vent in your writing, try listing your talents, hobbies, interests, ambitions, and dreams.
You'll be reminded of how much else there is in your life aside from your ex.
Organize these items however you want.
Try ordered lists, or just draw a big web of connected ideas.
Every time you hit on something that really excites or interests you, take special note of it.
You have the time and freedom to pursue these things again, now that you're single. , If you're lucky enough to have one, a trusted confidant can be a great way to unload some of your emotional burden.
If you don't have a person you can trust who will sit and listen to you, consider paying for a few sessions with a counselor.
Be absolutely sure your confidant is someone you can trust.
You're very vulnerable right now, and one casual word from him or her to the wrong person could come back around and hurt you.
Make it clear that you want this to stay strictly between the two of you.
Give yourself a few minutes to get started.
You'll feel embarrassed and silly at first, but if you talk for a couple of minutes and see that your confidant isn't judging or ignoring you, the words will start coming faster than you can keep up.
About the Author
Heather Hughes
Heather Hughes has dedicated 3 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Heather focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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