How to Get Your Boyfriend to Move Out
Make sure that this is the right decision., Talk to your boyfriend honestly and calmly., Avoid statements that place the blame on your boyfriend., Be clear about what you want., Establish a timeline for him to move out.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make sure that this is the right decision.
Relationships are complicated, messy, and involve a lot of strong feelings, and asking someone to move out is an action that can’t be undone.
Before taking the step of asking your boyfriend to move out, make sure that this is the best decision for you.When considering this, it’s OK to put your personal needs above the “needs” of the relationship.
Ask yourself:
Is the relationship healthy? Do you still enjoy spending time with your boyfriend? Do you still have strong feelings for him? -
Step 2: Talk to your boyfriend honestly and calmly.
Find a place where you can talk in person (not over the phone or texting), and where you will not be interrupted.
Treat him politely, and explain the reasons why you feel that the relationship is no longer working and should end.
It’s important that this is a calm discussion; if you try to break up and ask him to move out during an argument, tempers will flare and you both may feel hurt by the other.
This will make the break up and moving-out process more painful. , Even if you feel that your boyfriend deserves a share of the blame (which he probably does!), focus your talking points on your own emotions and your experiences.
This will allow you to express yourself without presuming to understand your boyfriend’s motives and reasoning; he may not have understood the way you felt before, either.
Instead of prefacing your remarks with “you” (e.g. “you make me angry”), try to preface them with “I.”For example, try saying something like: “I feel disappointed when the utility bills are paid late every month.” “I feel like we don’t invest as much time in our relationship as we used to.” “I feel as if you don’t treat me with as much respect as you used to.” , If you aren’t direct and clear with your boyfriend, you may end up confusing him and making your own position more awkward.
It can be uncomfortable and painful to ask a former partner to move out, but vague wording will only make the situation worse.Even if it’s more painful in the moment, direct statements will limit misunderstandings and save you from having future conversations about this in the future.
At some point during the conversation, you should say something like: “I would like for you to find a different place to live.” “I don’t think that this living arrangement is working anymore; I’d like you to move out.” “I’m not willing for us to live in the same apartment anymore.” , It can be tempting to ask your boyfriend to move out, but, in order to spare his feelings, to leave the timeframe open-ended.
This often ends up hurting more than it helps; he may drag his feet and end up staying in your apartment for months.
It will be beneficial to both of you if you establish a firm timeline: ask him to find another apartment within a month, and insist that he has all of his belongings out of your place within six weeks. -
Step 3: Avoid statements that place the blame on your boyfriend.
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Step 4: Be clear about what you want.
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Step 5: Establish a timeline for him to move out.
Detailed Guide
Relationships are complicated, messy, and involve a lot of strong feelings, and asking someone to move out is an action that can’t be undone.
Before taking the step of asking your boyfriend to move out, make sure that this is the best decision for you.When considering this, it’s OK to put your personal needs above the “needs” of the relationship.
Ask yourself:
Is the relationship healthy? Do you still enjoy spending time with your boyfriend? Do you still have strong feelings for him?
Find a place where you can talk in person (not over the phone or texting), and where you will not be interrupted.
Treat him politely, and explain the reasons why you feel that the relationship is no longer working and should end.
It’s important that this is a calm discussion; if you try to break up and ask him to move out during an argument, tempers will flare and you both may feel hurt by the other.
This will make the break up and moving-out process more painful. , Even if you feel that your boyfriend deserves a share of the blame (which he probably does!), focus your talking points on your own emotions and your experiences.
This will allow you to express yourself without presuming to understand your boyfriend’s motives and reasoning; he may not have understood the way you felt before, either.
Instead of prefacing your remarks with “you” (e.g. “you make me angry”), try to preface them with “I.”For example, try saying something like: “I feel disappointed when the utility bills are paid late every month.” “I feel like we don’t invest as much time in our relationship as we used to.” “I feel as if you don’t treat me with as much respect as you used to.” , If you aren’t direct and clear with your boyfriend, you may end up confusing him and making your own position more awkward.
It can be uncomfortable and painful to ask a former partner to move out, but vague wording will only make the situation worse.Even if it’s more painful in the moment, direct statements will limit misunderstandings and save you from having future conversations about this in the future.
At some point during the conversation, you should say something like: “I would like for you to find a different place to live.” “I don’t think that this living arrangement is working anymore; I’d like you to move out.” “I’m not willing for us to live in the same apartment anymore.” , It can be tempting to ask your boyfriend to move out, but, in order to spare his feelings, to leave the timeframe open-ended.
This often ends up hurting more than it helps; he may drag his feet and end up staying in your apartment for months.
It will be beneficial to both of you if you establish a firm timeline: ask him to find another apartment within a month, and insist that he has all of his belongings out of your place within six weeks.
About the Author
Julie Moore
Julie Moore is an experienced writer with over 7 years of expertise in education and learning. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Julie creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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