How to Have a Better Relationship with Your Twin
Tell your twin how you feel about the current status of your relationship together., Decide among yourselves how that better relationship could be achieved., Make sure that you actually do those things you've added to the list., Don't tattletale on...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell your twin how you feel about the current status of your relationship together.
Elaborate on how you would like a good relationship and where you feel things aren't as great as they could be between the two of you.
Be sure to point out all of the good reasons for having a healthy and friendly relationship together, to help get your message across and to provide solid reasons for your twin to decide also that a better relationship would be a good idea.
Focus on using "I" statements.
Don't blame your twin for anything, especially not for how the relationship is.
It takes two people to form a relationship and it is better to focus on what you want to achieve in the relationship than to complain about things that have or have not been done. -
Step 2: Decide among yourselves how that better relationship could be achieved.
For example, you might make a list of the fun things you could do together.
Or, you could make a list of things you want to learn how to do together, such as becoming amateur astronomers, learning a new language or cooking Vietnamese cuisine.
Choose your shared activities wisely so that not only you like them, but your twin does also.
While twins usually like the same things, this cannot be assumed, so ensure to ask your twin for advice and agreement. , There is no point in planning anything if you aren't going to go ahead with the plans! Set dates together to go and do the things you've said you will.
When doing the activities together, talk.
Let the conversation flow freely and without interruption.
Be a good listener.
It is likely that your twin will tell you many things and you'll learn a lot more about his or her feelings, wants, hopes and dreams by asking questions and listening more. , Always stick up for your twin; even if they are wrong in the first place, you can highlight their good character traits to help their cause.
If you feel you have to say something about an action your twin has done, such as telling a parent or someone else, be factual and don't try to make this into a situation in which you come out smelling like roses.
Be fair and thoughtful about how you explain the situation.
If you do tell on your twin, it is possible that he or she will lose some trust in you.
It all depends on the context, the manner in which you told on them and what the consequences are. , Tell your twin all the negative and positive things that are going on in your life- even your secrets! Even if your twin does blurt a few of them out, it isn't the end of the world.
Once they know you trust them, they will try to keep that trust.
Also, talk to your twin about things you have in common for a more prolonged, interesting conversation. , Hand make the cards for your twin for that extra-special touch.
If you struggle for ideas, decide on the theme of your card being something you would like because sometimes without realizing, twins' personalities are very similar and they appreciate the same things as each other. , After a nice day out with your twin, this is the perfect cherry on top of the cake! This provides another opportunity for conversation and time to get to know each other. , If you have an expertise in a subject, area or topic that they aren't too hot on, they will take up your offer to help in a heartbeat.
This shows your twin you are caring and will look out for them, which can come as a great feeling on both sides of a twin relationship. , Parents can give good advice but sometimes it is best to talk alone with your sibling in this sort of matter.
However, they can be supportive as all parents want their children to get along. , If your twin agrees to this, it might be a healthy way to get a third party intermediary to help the two of you get your grievances out into the open in a constructive and caring way, mediated by the counselor or therapist.
Of course, both of you must agree to this. -
Step 3: Make sure that you actually do those things you've added to the list.
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Step 4: Don't tattletale on your twin.
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Step 5: Be open.
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Step 6: Give your twin great
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Step 7: personalized gifts on their birthday or at Christmas.
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Step 8: Buy your twin lunch or treat them to dinner when you have the chance.
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Step 9: Help your twin with their homework
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Step 10: assignments
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Step 11: work problems
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Step 12: If you're a minor
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Step 13: talk to your parents about your unhappiness about not getting along with your twin if all else fails.
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Step 14: If you are adults
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Step 15: consider seeking therapy together.
Detailed Guide
Elaborate on how you would like a good relationship and where you feel things aren't as great as they could be between the two of you.
Be sure to point out all of the good reasons for having a healthy and friendly relationship together, to help get your message across and to provide solid reasons for your twin to decide also that a better relationship would be a good idea.
Focus on using "I" statements.
Don't blame your twin for anything, especially not for how the relationship is.
It takes two people to form a relationship and it is better to focus on what you want to achieve in the relationship than to complain about things that have or have not been done.
For example, you might make a list of the fun things you could do together.
Or, you could make a list of things you want to learn how to do together, such as becoming amateur astronomers, learning a new language or cooking Vietnamese cuisine.
Choose your shared activities wisely so that not only you like them, but your twin does also.
While twins usually like the same things, this cannot be assumed, so ensure to ask your twin for advice and agreement. , There is no point in planning anything if you aren't going to go ahead with the plans! Set dates together to go and do the things you've said you will.
When doing the activities together, talk.
Let the conversation flow freely and without interruption.
Be a good listener.
It is likely that your twin will tell you many things and you'll learn a lot more about his or her feelings, wants, hopes and dreams by asking questions and listening more. , Always stick up for your twin; even if they are wrong in the first place, you can highlight their good character traits to help their cause.
If you feel you have to say something about an action your twin has done, such as telling a parent or someone else, be factual and don't try to make this into a situation in which you come out smelling like roses.
Be fair and thoughtful about how you explain the situation.
If you do tell on your twin, it is possible that he or she will lose some trust in you.
It all depends on the context, the manner in which you told on them and what the consequences are. , Tell your twin all the negative and positive things that are going on in your life- even your secrets! Even if your twin does blurt a few of them out, it isn't the end of the world.
Once they know you trust them, they will try to keep that trust.
Also, talk to your twin about things you have in common for a more prolonged, interesting conversation. , Hand make the cards for your twin for that extra-special touch.
If you struggle for ideas, decide on the theme of your card being something you would like because sometimes without realizing, twins' personalities are very similar and they appreciate the same things as each other. , After a nice day out with your twin, this is the perfect cherry on top of the cake! This provides another opportunity for conversation and time to get to know each other. , If you have an expertise in a subject, area or topic that they aren't too hot on, they will take up your offer to help in a heartbeat.
This shows your twin you are caring and will look out for them, which can come as a great feeling on both sides of a twin relationship. , Parents can give good advice but sometimes it is best to talk alone with your sibling in this sort of matter.
However, they can be supportive as all parents want their children to get along. , If your twin agrees to this, it might be a healthy way to get a third party intermediary to help the two of you get your grievances out into the open in a constructive and caring way, mediated by the counselor or therapist.
Of course, both of you must agree to this.
About the Author
Frank Stewart
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow practical skills tutorials.
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