How to Have a Buddhist Girlfriend, but Be of Another Religion Yourself

Treat her like a normal girl, that is, politely., Ask her out like you would to a normal girl., Do not embarrass her by trying to make her drink, smoke or do drugs., Do not kill insects in her presence., Attempt to be genuinely interested in her...

33 Steps 2 min read Advanced

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Treat her like a normal girl

    With one caveat.

    If you are eating out, be sure to ask her if she is vegetarian. , Most Buddhists do not do these things.

    Buddhism teaches "avoidance of Intoxicants" so your Buddhist girlfriend may also avoid other foods, drinks or activities she identifies as intoxicating. , Throw away the fly spray.

    In her eyes, if you kill insects you are a mass-murderer...and Buddhist girls do not tend to like mass-murderers.

    In general. , This will make her happy.

    And you may learn something.

    Either way, the process is likely to deepen your relationship. , Like any religious girl, chances are she has moral ideas about relationships, which may or may not prohibit pre-marital sex.

    Buddhism explicitly prohibits 'illicit sex'.

    How she interprets this will vary according to her culture, upbringing, tradition of Buddhism and personal beliefs. ,, Remember that not all Buddhists are the same, and just because you read it in a book doesn't mean it holds true for her.

    This could be especially true for culturally bound Buddhist etiquette and sect-specific observances.

    It is not polite to ask a Theravaden girl if she recites the Lotus Sutra, for instance.

    You certainly won't impress her by talking about Mahayana ideology if she is Theravadin. , If you are Muslim, she agrees very much with giving zakat, or alms.

    If you are Hindu, Siddartha Gautama
    - the Buddha
    - was born to a Hindu family so Hinduism and Buddhism have much in common.

    For example, your girlfriend also wants to attain moksha (liberation).

    If you are Christian, 'treat others as you would yourself' and 'forgive your enemies' are her tenets, too.

    There is much more common ground than difference: both of you want to become better human beings. ,, She doesn't worship idols, but they have deep symbolism for her, and that needs to be respected. , Chances are, she respects them. , If you don't find this beautiful, don't date a Buddhist girl! She may also do this in the evening.

    This is to be expected. , If you start to take her Buddhist practice seriously, she may well laugh at you. ,, Renunciation of worldly ties goes hand in hand with most styles of Buddhism.

    Let her. , Handle it diplomatically.

    Somme examples: "Why don't we study the Dharma together at home today?" or "You can learn Buddhism just as well from a walk in the park."
  2. Step 2: that is

  3. Step 3: politely.

  4. Step 4: Ask her out like you would to a normal girl.

  5. Step 5: Do not embarrass her by trying to make her drink

  6. Step 6: smoke or do drugs.

  7. Step 7: Do not kill insects in her presence.

  8. Step 8: Attempt to be genuinely interested in her beliefs once in a while.

  9. Step 9: Don't be a sleaze.

  10. Step 10: Remember that she will approach things from a Buddhist viewpoint

  11. Step 11: which may be alien at times

  12. Step 12: especially to those of theist religions.

  13. Step 13: Read books on HER TRADITION of Buddhism to understand where she is coming from.

  14. Step 14: If you are religious but not Buddhist

  15. Step 15: look for similarities and shared experiences to make the relationship stronger BECAUSE of this point- if you are both religious

  16. Step 16: you already share much common ground of ethics and morality.

  17. Step 17: If you are not religious

  18. Step 18: she shares many common points with you

  19. Step 19: such as not worshipping a God or Gods and rejection of superstition and dogma.

  20. Step 20: Don't touch her shrine

  21. Step 21: her chanting beads

  22. Step 22: statuary

  23. Step 23: under any circumstances.

  24. Step 24: Don't ever say anything bad about her Teacher

  25. Step 25: her Buddhist community

  26. Step 26: or monks or nuns unless it's really important to you.

  27. Step 27: She may wake up very early in the morning and spend long hours chanting in a language you don't understand.

  28. Step 28: Buddhists like to laugh about their spirituality.

  29. Step 29: If incense is a problem for you because of allergies

  30. Step 30: asthma

  31. Step 31: ask her to burn a smokeless variety or do without.

  32. Step 32: Every now and then she may get the inclination to go shave her head and be a nun.

  33. Step 33: Do you think she spends too much time on a temple or monastery?

Detailed Guide

With one caveat.

If you are eating out, be sure to ask her if she is vegetarian. , Most Buddhists do not do these things.

Buddhism teaches "avoidance of Intoxicants" so your Buddhist girlfriend may also avoid other foods, drinks or activities she identifies as intoxicating. , Throw away the fly spray.

In her eyes, if you kill insects you are a mass-murderer...and Buddhist girls do not tend to like mass-murderers.

In general. , This will make her happy.

And you may learn something.

Either way, the process is likely to deepen your relationship. , Like any religious girl, chances are she has moral ideas about relationships, which may or may not prohibit pre-marital sex.

Buddhism explicitly prohibits 'illicit sex'.

How she interprets this will vary according to her culture, upbringing, tradition of Buddhism and personal beliefs. ,, Remember that not all Buddhists are the same, and just because you read it in a book doesn't mean it holds true for her.

This could be especially true for culturally bound Buddhist etiquette and sect-specific observances.

It is not polite to ask a Theravaden girl if she recites the Lotus Sutra, for instance.

You certainly won't impress her by talking about Mahayana ideology if she is Theravadin. , If you are Muslim, she agrees very much with giving zakat, or alms.

If you are Hindu, Siddartha Gautama
- the Buddha
- was born to a Hindu family so Hinduism and Buddhism have much in common.

For example, your girlfriend also wants to attain moksha (liberation).

If you are Christian, 'treat others as you would yourself' and 'forgive your enemies' are her tenets, too.

There is much more common ground than difference: both of you want to become better human beings. ,, She doesn't worship idols, but they have deep symbolism for her, and that needs to be respected. , Chances are, she respects them. , If you don't find this beautiful, don't date a Buddhist girl! She may also do this in the evening.

This is to be expected. , If you start to take her Buddhist practice seriously, she may well laugh at you. ,, Renunciation of worldly ties goes hand in hand with most styles of Buddhism.

Let her. , Handle it diplomatically.

Somme examples: "Why don't we study the Dharma together at home today?" or "You can learn Buddhism just as well from a walk in the park."

About the Author

C

Carol Wells

Experienced content creator specializing in hobbies guides and tutorials.

44 articles
View all articles

Rate This Guide

--
Loading...
5
0
4
0
3
0
2
0
1
0

How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: