How to Have a Deep Connection With Your Boyfriend

Cultivate open communications., Be non-judgmental., Be curious about how your boyfriend thinks and feels., Have fun, silly conversations.

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Cultivate open communications.

    Share intimate thoughts, dreams, and ideas together.

    Tell him about the dreams that drive you and the hopes you hold for the future, including a future with him.Try to spend a few minutes every day talking about personal subjects like serious hopes, dreams, and fears.Encourage him to share as well, but don't try to force him to verbalize his thoughts or feelings.

    Don’t just assume that he can read your mind, or that you can read his.

    Try asking, "Where do you see yourself in five years? What are some of the most important things you want to accomplish in life? What values drive you most and motivate your actions?"
  2. Step 2: Be non-judgmental.

    Create a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere.

    You cannot get to know another person well without listening unconditionally and standing in the other person's shoes.

    Try to understand his perspective, and encourage him to be comfortable with sharing without any fear of looking silly or foolish.

    Reassure him that he can be himself around you without having to impress you.

    Tell him you appreciate him for who he is.

    Understand that many societies have definitions of masculinity that discourage sharing fears and intimate emotions.

    Know that men often want to fix problems rather than share their own.Try saying, "You know you can confide in me and I won't judge you.

    We've been together a pretty long time now, and I love you unconditionally.

    You should never feel embarrassed about having fears or doubts
    - you'll probably find that I share them!"

    Find joy in continuously learning about your boyfriend.

    Actively show him that you’re invested in his interior life, and want to know more about what makes him who he is.

    Think of questions you can ask him that will reveal things you don’t know.Try asking, “What was the happiest moment of your childhood? What was the most difficult part of growing up?”Ask him, “Who’s been the most important influence of your life? Why?” Ask, “What are your most important values? Why do you hold those values so dear, and how do they inform your actions?” Be sure to ask, “What are the things you look for in a partner? How can I be a better partner to you?” , While you shouldn’t avoid serious topics, and should have a good daily talk, don’t make your communications in general too serious.

    It’s equally important to have silly talks that engage your imaginations.

    Incorporating fresh, light discussions where less is at stake can also keep communicating from becoming a chore.Talk about each other’s days, especially about silly things you came across while going about your days.

    Mention funny things you saw on while out and about, or silly things you came across online.

    Ask him lighthearted questions that will still help you to get to know each other.

    Consider asking, “If you could be any cartoon character who would you be?” or “If you could have any superpower which would you choose?” Use humor and laughter to keep things fresh: having funny conversations and joking around with each other can help you both look forward to communicating with the other.
  3. Step 3: Be curious about how your boyfriend thinks and feels.

  4. Step 4: Have fun

  5. Step 5: silly conversations.

Detailed Guide

Share intimate thoughts, dreams, and ideas together.

Tell him about the dreams that drive you and the hopes you hold for the future, including a future with him.Try to spend a few minutes every day talking about personal subjects like serious hopes, dreams, and fears.Encourage him to share as well, but don't try to force him to verbalize his thoughts or feelings.

Don’t just assume that he can read your mind, or that you can read his.

Try asking, "Where do you see yourself in five years? What are some of the most important things you want to accomplish in life? What values drive you most and motivate your actions?"

Create a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere.

You cannot get to know another person well without listening unconditionally and standing in the other person's shoes.

Try to understand his perspective, and encourage him to be comfortable with sharing without any fear of looking silly or foolish.

Reassure him that he can be himself around you without having to impress you.

Tell him you appreciate him for who he is.

Understand that many societies have definitions of masculinity that discourage sharing fears and intimate emotions.

Know that men often want to fix problems rather than share their own.Try saying, "You know you can confide in me and I won't judge you.

We've been together a pretty long time now, and I love you unconditionally.

You should never feel embarrassed about having fears or doubts
- you'll probably find that I share them!"

Find joy in continuously learning about your boyfriend.

Actively show him that you’re invested in his interior life, and want to know more about what makes him who he is.

Think of questions you can ask him that will reveal things you don’t know.Try asking, “What was the happiest moment of your childhood? What was the most difficult part of growing up?”Ask him, “Who’s been the most important influence of your life? Why?” Ask, “What are your most important values? Why do you hold those values so dear, and how do they inform your actions?” Be sure to ask, “What are the things you look for in a partner? How can I be a better partner to you?” , While you shouldn’t avoid serious topics, and should have a good daily talk, don’t make your communications in general too serious.

It’s equally important to have silly talks that engage your imaginations.

Incorporating fresh, light discussions where less is at stake can also keep communicating from becoming a chore.Talk about each other’s days, especially about silly things you came across while going about your days.

Mention funny things you saw on while out and about, or silly things you came across online.

Ask him lighthearted questions that will still help you to get to know each other.

Consider asking, “If you could be any cartoon character who would you be?” or “If you could have any superpower which would you choose?” Use humor and laughter to keep things fresh: having funny conversations and joking around with each other can help you both look forward to communicating with the other.

About the Author

A

Anna Wright

Creates helpful guides on DIY projects to inspire and educate readers.

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