How to Have a Long and Happy Relationship
Understand your needs and wants., Make sure you are in a relationship for healthy rather than unhealthy reasons., Choose your partner wisely., Be realistic., Don’t try to change your significant other., Build friendship., Don’t feel like you have to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand your needs and wants.
Understanding your own emotional and physical needs before you enter a relationship is important because you will need to be able to communicate these needs to your significant other if you want to have a successful relationship.
You might already have a clear idea of what you need and want in a relationship, but if you’re unsure, you can think about these questions.Reflect on past relationships to gain insight into why those relationships did or did not work.
What can these experiences tell you about your needs? Think about how you react to people and events.
For example, do you tend to react emotionally, find it hard to trust someone, or find it difficult to express your feelings? It can be helpful to be aware of these personality traits before you enter a serious relationship. -
Step 2: Make sure you are in a relationship for healthy rather than unhealthy reasons.
Keep these guidelines in mind:
Healthy reasons for being in a relationship include: a desire to share love, intimacy, and companionship; wanting to experience personal growth; providing emotional and physical support to each other; and hoping to create a family.
It’s important to note that these motivations focus not just on receiving love and support, but also providing it for your significant other.
Unhealthy reasons for being in a relationship include: having a fear of being alone, being afraid of breaking up, and not wanting to lose your connection to your significant other’s friends or family.
Using your significant other for security, sex, money, or to get revenge on an ex are also very unhealthy reasons for being in a relationship.
If you enter and remain in a relationship for these reasons, you and your significant other will have a hard time developing a long and happy relationship, and you could both be seriously hurt in the process. , If you are hoping to develop a happy, long-term relationship, you need to choose your significant other carefully.
It’s a common perception that opposites attract, but researchers have found that individuals who share some common goals, interests, and expectations often have more satisfying relationships.Your personality traits don’t have to be the same, but if you each want different things from the relationship you will have a hard time making it last.
Think about whether your differences complement each other.
For example, someone who is more impulsive might balance someone who is more of a planner. , Entering a relationship expecting there to be no difficult times or challenges is unrealistic.
The early passion and the sense of infatuation you feel might fade, but with time and effort, you can build a deeper and more meaningful relationship., While you might be able to persuade your significant other to pick up dirty laundry or walk the dog, thinking that you will be able to seriously change his personality, views, or behavior can set up your relationship for failure.
In particular, experts suggest that you will not be able to change these personality traits or ideas:
Ideas about religion.
Your significant other’s views on having children.
His or her temper and the way they act when angry.
Whether the person is introverted or extroverted.
Your significant other’s interests, activities, and hobbies.
Your significant other’s relationship with her or his family. , If you are hoping for a long and happy relationship, concentrate on building friendship with your significant other.
Experts have found that couples who are friends are happier and more likely to stick together.If you don’t want to spend time together, your relationship won’t be very successful.
Take time to explore each other's interests and hobbies.
It might initially seem like a sacrifice to do something you don't want to, but your significant other will appreciate your effort and be more willing to do something you enjoy next time.
You will also feel more connected to her and be able to better understand her personality, desires, and needs.
Try to identify your common interests and pursue these together.
For example, if you both enjoy the outdoors, go on a camping trip together. , Couples sometimes feel like they need to pursue every activity together, but this can make you and your significant other feel claustrophobic.Don’t stop spending time with friends or family.
Keep up the hobbies you had before you entered the relationship. , People who are generous are willing to put other people’s thoughts, feelings, and interests above their own.
Researchers have found that when significant others are generous with each other, they are better able to create a lasting partnership.Share what you have.
This might be something as simple as being willing to split a dessert or something more significant such as your resources and time.
Don’t be generous to get something in return.
People exhibiting true generosity aren’t doing it because they want something from another person.
For example, don’t give an elaborate gift because you expect to receive one in return. , People entering into relationships may feel rushed to get to a more advanced stage in their relationship by being intimate quickly, by moving in with each other, or getting married soon after meeting each other.
While it can be exciting to think about the happy ending you hope to have and rush to meet it, taking the time to make sure both you and your significant other are on the same page about your relationship will only solidify it.You’ll both be more confident and happy in the relationship if you don’t feel pressured or forced into something quickly.
The better you know each other and the more you develop your relationship, the more likely it will be to succeed. -
Step 3: Choose your partner wisely.
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Step 4: Be realistic.
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Step 5: Don’t try to change your significant other.
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Step 6: Build friendship.
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Step 7: Don’t feel like you have to do everything together.
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Step 8: Be generous with one another.
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Step 9: Don’t feel rushed.
Detailed Guide
Understanding your own emotional and physical needs before you enter a relationship is important because you will need to be able to communicate these needs to your significant other if you want to have a successful relationship.
You might already have a clear idea of what you need and want in a relationship, but if you’re unsure, you can think about these questions.Reflect on past relationships to gain insight into why those relationships did or did not work.
What can these experiences tell you about your needs? Think about how you react to people and events.
For example, do you tend to react emotionally, find it hard to trust someone, or find it difficult to express your feelings? It can be helpful to be aware of these personality traits before you enter a serious relationship.
Keep these guidelines in mind:
Healthy reasons for being in a relationship include: a desire to share love, intimacy, and companionship; wanting to experience personal growth; providing emotional and physical support to each other; and hoping to create a family.
It’s important to note that these motivations focus not just on receiving love and support, but also providing it for your significant other.
Unhealthy reasons for being in a relationship include: having a fear of being alone, being afraid of breaking up, and not wanting to lose your connection to your significant other’s friends or family.
Using your significant other for security, sex, money, or to get revenge on an ex are also very unhealthy reasons for being in a relationship.
If you enter and remain in a relationship for these reasons, you and your significant other will have a hard time developing a long and happy relationship, and you could both be seriously hurt in the process. , If you are hoping to develop a happy, long-term relationship, you need to choose your significant other carefully.
It’s a common perception that opposites attract, but researchers have found that individuals who share some common goals, interests, and expectations often have more satisfying relationships.Your personality traits don’t have to be the same, but if you each want different things from the relationship you will have a hard time making it last.
Think about whether your differences complement each other.
For example, someone who is more impulsive might balance someone who is more of a planner. , Entering a relationship expecting there to be no difficult times or challenges is unrealistic.
The early passion and the sense of infatuation you feel might fade, but with time and effort, you can build a deeper and more meaningful relationship., While you might be able to persuade your significant other to pick up dirty laundry or walk the dog, thinking that you will be able to seriously change his personality, views, or behavior can set up your relationship for failure.
In particular, experts suggest that you will not be able to change these personality traits or ideas:
Ideas about religion.
Your significant other’s views on having children.
His or her temper and the way they act when angry.
Whether the person is introverted or extroverted.
Your significant other’s interests, activities, and hobbies.
Your significant other’s relationship with her or his family. , If you are hoping for a long and happy relationship, concentrate on building friendship with your significant other.
Experts have found that couples who are friends are happier and more likely to stick together.If you don’t want to spend time together, your relationship won’t be very successful.
Take time to explore each other's interests and hobbies.
It might initially seem like a sacrifice to do something you don't want to, but your significant other will appreciate your effort and be more willing to do something you enjoy next time.
You will also feel more connected to her and be able to better understand her personality, desires, and needs.
Try to identify your common interests and pursue these together.
For example, if you both enjoy the outdoors, go on a camping trip together. , Couples sometimes feel like they need to pursue every activity together, but this can make you and your significant other feel claustrophobic.Don’t stop spending time with friends or family.
Keep up the hobbies you had before you entered the relationship. , People who are generous are willing to put other people’s thoughts, feelings, and interests above their own.
Researchers have found that when significant others are generous with each other, they are better able to create a lasting partnership.Share what you have.
This might be something as simple as being willing to split a dessert or something more significant such as your resources and time.
Don’t be generous to get something in return.
People exhibiting true generosity aren’t doing it because they want something from another person.
For example, don’t give an elaborate gift because you expect to receive one in return. , People entering into relationships may feel rushed to get to a more advanced stage in their relationship by being intimate quickly, by moving in with each other, or getting married soon after meeting each other.
While it can be exciting to think about the happy ending you hope to have and rush to meet it, taking the time to make sure both you and your significant other are on the same page about your relationship will only solidify it.You’ll both be more confident and happy in the relationship if you don’t feel pressured or forced into something quickly.
The better you know each other and the more you develop your relationship, the more likely it will be to succeed.
About the Author
Emma Graham
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow crafts tutorials.
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