How to Have a Secret Office Romance

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Communicate in stealth: If your preferred mode of communication is texting use the Snapchat.

   If you prefer email try Flagebuzz.
   
   Avoid using your mobile/office phone.
2. 2

   Step 2: Be professional: Between 9 and 5

   Maintain a work like demeanor at all times
   - avoid touching, lingering looks, or intimate conversations.
   
   If anything, give your partner a wider berth than other colleagues. , Arrange your rendezvous like an MI5 agent: plan cover stories, arrive from different directions and think about escape routes.
   
   An empty stairwell, where you can hear people coming, is preferable to a stationary cupboard, where you can be easily caught unawares. , Remember to travel there separately, nothing will arouse suspicion more than the 2 of you leaving together. , Cover your tracks at all times.
   
   Avoid sending emails through the company system as it will only be a matter of time before one gets accidentally sent to Matt in accounts.
   
   And never commit the ultimate sin
   - turning up to work in the same clothes two days in a row.
   
   This is a sure fire sign that you didn't make it home the night before, and will start rumors before you can say 'scandalous'
   
   Quell any gossip surrounding you and your amour by ruthlessly starting more salacious rumors. , If anyone asks why you are having an extended lunch break, say everything else, e.g.
   
   I have a lot of flex-it-ime and I need to use it and I'm going to have a little longer mooching in town and shopping.
   
   If you are asked did you see X? be honest but brief with an answer such as Yes I did, but don't tell them every little detail what you and X did, talked about etc.
   
   All in all keep extended lunch breaks to every now and then
   - If done frequently it can cause your boss, other people and the gossips to cotton on. , It is best to leave kisses and hugs when the two of you are on your own, there is no-one else approaching, hearing and when the two of you are outside work and outside work hours (e.g. both of you are at home, on leave, on flexi day).
   
   Don't give the nosy parkers and/or the gossips any ammunition.
   
   Plus you never know who could spread the news to your colleagues and/or your boss when you are not about do you? , Make VERY sure that the coast is clear, that is meaning your colleagues, boss and especially the gossips are NOT around, whether it's in the work premises or outside the work premises. (Danger
   - You never know who is watching or the risk of your boss/colleages/gossips seeing you two and you never know who might tell on you when you are not around do you?)
3. 3

   Step 3: romance must appear to be the last thing on your mind.

4. 4

   Step 4: Arrange rendezvous: Set times and places to meet where you know you will get some privacy.

5. 5

   Step 5: If meeting after hours pick a place far from your work location

6. 6

   Step 6: you will be easily spotted in the pub on the corner.

7. 7

   Step 7: Don't leave any evidence: this can be anything from an undeleted email

8. 8

   Step 8: to lipstick marks

9. 9

   Step 9: to misplaced underwear.

10. 10

    Step 10: Head off the gossip: at some point

11. 11

    Step 11: someone will start to get suspicious.

12. 12

    Step 12: If you decide to have an extended lunch break

13. 13

    Step 13: always ask permission from your boss first and only if your boss says it's OK.

14. 14

    Step 14: Do not show public displays of affection.

15. 15

    Step 15: Remember professionalism and discretion in the workplace is key.

Detailed Guide

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