How to Help a Friend Move on from a Long Distance Romance
Respect the way they grieve., Ask how you can help., Validate their feelings., Listen to your friend.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Respect the way they grieve.
You may not understand why your friend feels or thinks the way they do.
Fortunately, it’s not your job to.
Right now your role is to be there for them and know your boundaries.
The last thing they need right now is criticism from you.
For example, avoid telling your friend that they are too sad or taking too long to get over the break up.
Don’t chide them if they want to stay home and lie in bed instead of hitting the town with you.
As much as it may hurt you to see them like that, it’s what they feel they need to do at the moment. -
Step 2: Ask how you can help.
You may think you know exactly what you need to help your friend, but the truth is, you won’t unless you ask them.
What you need during a break up may be completely different than what they need.
For instance, you could say, “Please tell me what you need right now and what I can do to help you.” It may be something as simple as sitting on the couch with them, or it could be to assist in the household chores, depending on how upset they are.
Once they tell you, do what they ask, and not what you think is best., No one wants to hear they shouldn’t feel what they feel, particularly after ending a long-distance relationship.
Instead of trying to stop them from getting down, let them know it’s normal and acceptable to experience the emotions they are feeling.
Validating their feelings will be more helpful to your friend than trying to change them.
Say to your friend, “It’s OK to be sad.
No one understands just how hurt you are except for you, and I’ll be here whenever you need me.” Providing this sense of support can offer the comfort they need right now., Your friend likely has lots to say about their ex.
Help them get what they need off of their chest by listening.
Although you may not necessarily agree with what they say, it’s important to listen and not interrupt.
Although it may take a toll on you to hear the constant bashing of the ex or endless complaining, it’s good to remember that this is what your friend needs to do right now to heal.
It may take a huge amount of patience on your part to endure the same conversation over and over again, but it’s part of being a good friend. -
Step 3: Validate their feelings.
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Step 4: Listen to your friend.
Detailed Guide
You may not understand why your friend feels or thinks the way they do.
Fortunately, it’s not your job to.
Right now your role is to be there for them and know your boundaries.
The last thing they need right now is criticism from you.
For example, avoid telling your friend that they are too sad or taking too long to get over the break up.
Don’t chide them if they want to stay home and lie in bed instead of hitting the town with you.
As much as it may hurt you to see them like that, it’s what they feel they need to do at the moment.
You may think you know exactly what you need to help your friend, but the truth is, you won’t unless you ask them.
What you need during a break up may be completely different than what they need.
For instance, you could say, “Please tell me what you need right now and what I can do to help you.” It may be something as simple as sitting on the couch with them, or it could be to assist in the household chores, depending on how upset they are.
Once they tell you, do what they ask, and not what you think is best., No one wants to hear they shouldn’t feel what they feel, particularly after ending a long-distance relationship.
Instead of trying to stop them from getting down, let them know it’s normal and acceptable to experience the emotions they are feeling.
Validating their feelings will be more helpful to your friend than trying to change them.
Say to your friend, “It’s OK to be sad.
No one understands just how hurt you are except for you, and I’ll be here whenever you need me.” Providing this sense of support can offer the comfort they need right now., Your friend likely has lots to say about their ex.
Help them get what they need off of their chest by listening.
Although you may not necessarily agree with what they say, it’s important to listen and not interrupt.
Although it may take a toll on you to hear the constant bashing of the ex or endless complaining, it’s good to remember that this is what your friend needs to do right now to heal.
It may take a huge amount of patience on your part to endure the same conversation over and over again, but it’s part of being a good friend.
About the Author
Karen Simmons
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow home improvement tutorials.
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