How to Hook Up with a Girl Who Has a Boyfriend
Evaluate your relationship with her., Plan out what you want to say., Build up your courage., Tell her., Respect her response.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Evaluate your relationship with her.
It’s important to consider whether telling her your feelings is appropriate based on the strength of your relationship.
Imagine you tell her.
Is your relationship strong enough to handle it if she doesn’t feel the same way, or if she does but decides to stay with her current boyfriend? If yes, it might be worth the risk.
If no, weigh your options carefully.
If you haven’t known this girl very long, this probably isn’t a good option.
She could see your professed feelings as very abrupt or forward.
Make a pro/con list to weigh the risks and benefits of telling her your feelings.
Also consider the risks and benefits of not telling her.
Is it worth the risk? -
Step 2: Plan out what you want to say.
Frame this conversation carefully, so she knows you are not making demands of her.
Ask a friend talk out the scenario with you to work out any kinks.
Your friend can give you perspective on your choices of words. , Of course you’re nervous to tell her your feelings.
Not only could this admission change your relationship with this girl, but it could affect your relationship with her boyfriend or other mutual friends, if you have them.
Fear signals that the outcome is important to you.
Once you’ve decided you want to go ahead with expressing yourself, use your fear to motivate you, rather than deter you., Once you’ve built up your courage, go for it.
When you're alone with her, say something along the lines of: "Caitlin, I know that you're dating Sam, and I don't want to mess anything up for you, but I've started to have feelings for you.
I want you to know." If you think she reciprocates the feelings, you can add, "I've sensed that the attraction might be mutual, and I want to clear the air." If she has been giving you vibes that she's interested, it's important that she knows so that she doesn't keep giving you mixed signals. , You’ve weighed the risks and benefits of your decision, and you knew that she might not respond favorably.
It is important, especially if you want to remain friends, to accept and respect her response.
She may tell you that she does not feel the same way.
Rejection is painful, but it is one of the ways that we reduce our ego and grow.She may tell you that she does have feelings for you, but that she wants to stay with her boyfriend because they have a strong relationship and she also has feelings for him.
This is harder to accept, because it feels like there is a glimmer of hope, but once she tells you her decision to stay with her boyfriend, you need to move on.
Don’t torture yourself.
Waiting around and hoping that she’ll change your mind will only be a waste of your time.
If you accept her response, you will be better able to move forward and search for a romantic connection elsewhere. -
Step 3: Build up your courage.
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Step 4: Tell her.
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Step 5: Respect her response.
Detailed Guide
It’s important to consider whether telling her your feelings is appropriate based on the strength of your relationship.
Imagine you tell her.
Is your relationship strong enough to handle it if she doesn’t feel the same way, or if she does but decides to stay with her current boyfriend? If yes, it might be worth the risk.
If no, weigh your options carefully.
If you haven’t known this girl very long, this probably isn’t a good option.
She could see your professed feelings as very abrupt or forward.
Make a pro/con list to weigh the risks and benefits of telling her your feelings.
Also consider the risks and benefits of not telling her.
Is it worth the risk?
Frame this conversation carefully, so she knows you are not making demands of her.
Ask a friend talk out the scenario with you to work out any kinks.
Your friend can give you perspective on your choices of words. , Of course you’re nervous to tell her your feelings.
Not only could this admission change your relationship with this girl, but it could affect your relationship with her boyfriend or other mutual friends, if you have them.
Fear signals that the outcome is important to you.
Once you’ve decided you want to go ahead with expressing yourself, use your fear to motivate you, rather than deter you., Once you’ve built up your courage, go for it.
When you're alone with her, say something along the lines of: "Caitlin, I know that you're dating Sam, and I don't want to mess anything up for you, but I've started to have feelings for you.
I want you to know." If you think she reciprocates the feelings, you can add, "I've sensed that the attraction might be mutual, and I want to clear the air." If she has been giving you vibes that she's interested, it's important that she knows so that she doesn't keep giving you mixed signals. , You’ve weighed the risks and benefits of your decision, and you knew that she might not respond favorably.
It is important, especially if you want to remain friends, to accept and respect her response.
She may tell you that she does not feel the same way.
Rejection is painful, but it is one of the ways that we reduce our ego and grow.She may tell you that she does have feelings for you, but that she wants to stay with her boyfriend because they have a strong relationship and she also has feelings for him.
This is harder to accept, because it feels like there is a glimmer of hope, but once she tells you her decision to stay with her boyfriend, you need to move on.
Don’t torture yourself.
Waiting around and hoping that she’ll change your mind will only be a waste of your time.
If you accept her response, you will be better able to move forward and search for a romantic connection elsewhere.
About the Author
Lori Gutierrez
Enthusiastic about teaching pet care techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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