How to Know if Your Partner Is Having an Emotional Affair
Determine if your partner has stopped sharing important thoughts., Determine if sex has changed., Figure out if your partner is pulling away., Notice changes in what your partner says to you., Watch for gaslighting.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Determine if your partner has stopped sharing important thoughts.
When in an emotional affair, a person may tell someone else their most important thoughts.
This may be their hopes and dreams, their fears, or their successes.
They share with the other person and not you.Figure out if your partner is sharing things with you like they used to.
Ask them questions and see what their responses are, or listen during conversations to what they are saying.
If you hear your spouse sharing important information with someone else that they have not told you about first, then this can be a red flag since it may mean you are not their go-to person for important matters. -
Step 2: Determine if sex has changed.
Though an emotional affair is not physical, the feelings involved in it can cause a physical rift between you and your partner.
You may have less sex with your partner than you did before, or the sex may change and become less intimate and more routine.For example, your partner may rush through sex, not hold you, barely look at you, and not stick around afterwards.
Sometimes guilt may cause a person to initiate sex more often, or to lavish you with attention, gifts, or in other ways. , People in emotional affairs may put distance between themselves and their partners.
This occurs because they are worried that they might get caught or say something about the other person.
If your partner is pulling away or not talking to you, they may be having an emotional affair.Take a look at what your partner does around you.
Do they go to bed early, spend time working at night, or no longer want to do things together? , When people have emotional affairs, they start talking to the other person instead of you about things.
You may start to see differences in what your partner says to you.
Maybe they don’t tell you about things you used to talk about often, or you notice they are quieter and share less than they used to.For example, your partner might have told you random things about their day, but now they barely talk about their day.
This can be a sign of an emotional affair.
If you find out about things after the fact when you know they are important to your partner may mean they are telling someone else, especially if you know they are close with someone else.
Changes in your partner’s attitude and tone towards you can also indicate a problem.
Consider whether they have started reacting to you with irritation or speaking to you in a condescending tone. , Gaslighting is an abuse tactic where the abuser tries to convince the victim that their version of reality is inaccurate or even crazy.If your partner frequently tells you that your thoughts are incorrect or crazy and attempts to paint a very different picture than what you are observing, then they may be using gaslighting to deceive you.
For example, if you hear your partner share some important information with this person that your partner has not yet confided in you yet, then your partner might try to convince you that they already told you this information.
This can leave you questioning your memory, even if you are certain that they never told you. -
Step 3: Figure out if your partner is pulling away.
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Step 4: Notice changes in what your partner says to you.
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Step 5: Watch for gaslighting.
Detailed Guide
When in an emotional affair, a person may tell someone else their most important thoughts.
This may be their hopes and dreams, their fears, or their successes.
They share with the other person and not you.Figure out if your partner is sharing things with you like they used to.
Ask them questions and see what their responses are, or listen during conversations to what they are saying.
If you hear your spouse sharing important information with someone else that they have not told you about first, then this can be a red flag since it may mean you are not their go-to person for important matters.
Though an emotional affair is not physical, the feelings involved in it can cause a physical rift between you and your partner.
You may have less sex with your partner than you did before, or the sex may change and become less intimate and more routine.For example, your partner may rush through sex, not hold you, barely look at you, and not stick around afterwards.
Sometimes guilt may cause a person to initiate sex more often, or to lavish you with attention, gifts, or in other ways. , People in emotional affairs may put distance between themselves and their partners.
This occurs because they are worried that they might get caught or say something about the other person.
If your partner is pulling away or not talking to you, they may be having an emotional affair.Take a look at what your partner does around you.
Do they go to bed early, spend time working at night, or no longer want to do things together? , When people have emotional affairs, they start talking to the other person instead of you about things.
You may start to see differences in what your partner says to you.
Maybe they don’t tell you about things you used to talk about often, or you notice they are quieter and share less than they used to.For example, your partner might have told you random things about their day, but now they barely talk about their day.
This can be a sign of an emotional affair.
If you find out about things after the fact when you know they are important to your partner may mean they are telling someone else, especially if you know they are close with someone else.
Changes in your partner’s attitude and tone towards you can also indicate a problem.
Consider whether they have started reacting to you with irritation or speaking to you in a condescending tone. , Gaslighting is an abuse tactic where the abuser tries to convince the victim that their version of reality is inaccurate or even crazy.If your partner frequently tells you that your thoughts are incorrect or crazy and attempts to paint a very different picture than what you are observing, then they may be using gaslighting to deceive you.
For example, if you hear your partner share some important information with this person that your partner has not yet confided in you yet, then your partner might try to convince you that they already told you this information.
This can leave you questioning your memory, even if you are certain that they never told you.
About the Author
Kyle Young
Creates helpful guides on cooking to inspire and educate readers.
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