How to Know if Your Relationship Is Holding You Back
Check for codependency., Identify power struggles., Question if your partner is open-minded., Notice commitment issues., Look for a lack of empathy.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Check for codependency.
A codependent relationship describes an unbalanced partnership in which one partner sacrifices themselves in the name of helping or “rescuing” the other.
Such dysfunctional relationships can hinder personal growth in various ways, depending on who’s doing the enabling.
If you are the enabler, constantly accommodating your partner’s unhealthy or irresponsible behavior may require so much of your energy that there is little left over for your own individual growth.
On the contrary, if your partner is enabling you, staying in this relationship could be building an attitude of learned helplessness within you.There may be more subtle forms of codependency at play as well.
Consider if you are hesitant to push yourself out of your comfort zone — if you relationship is based mostly on feeling comfortable, with little growth happening.
If you notice signs of codependency in your relationship, you should seek professional counseling right away.
Signs may include lack of personal boundaries, people-pleasing, and excessive control. -
Step 2: Identify power struggles.
Feeling powerless in life or in the relationship can lead to one partner exerting undue power over the other.
To prove their power, your partner may place unrealistic demands on you.
Insecurity, fear of abandonment or concern about their own lack of accomplishment can show up as lack of support or even jealousy.For instance, if you come home with a great idea or good news, does your partner ask, “Why would you want that? Why can’t you be happy with how thing are?” This could be a sign of your partner using guilt-trips or control to keep you stagnant. , Do you feel like you have to conform to your partner’s expectations or preferences? Narrow-minded people can be terribly difficult to deal with in general, but a narrow-minded partner can feel suffocating.
When one partner is narrow-minded, it can feel like you are being held back from exploring new aspects of life.
For example, you share a dream of traveling the world, and your partner is outraged. “We can’t afford that! It’s too dangerous to travel now-a-days!” Their response makes you less likely to explore and share your interests and dreams.
A healthy relationship features two partners who have both mutual and separate interests.
If you find yourself having to give up passions because they differ from your partner’s, you could be being held back., Consider whether you are ready for a deeper commitment but your partner is not.
Sometimes, being held back means one person wants to move forward in the relationship while the other person is happy where they are.
If you and your partner have been together for some time, yet they refuse to advance the relationship to the next level, this could translate into you being held back from getting the fulfillment you desire in a partnership., Perhaps you are held back in the way that your partner isn’t able to provide the emotional support you need.
You keep waiting around for them to build you up or support you, but it never happens.
If your partner is emotionally detached or immature, you could be missing out on the opportunity to be with someone who can be vulnerable and empathetic with you. -
Step 3: Question if your partner is open-minded.
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Step 4: Notice commitment issues.
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Step 5: Look for a lack of empathy.
Detailed Guide
A codependent relationship describes an unbalanced partnership in which one partner sacrifices themselves in the name of helping or “rescuing” the other.
Such dysfunctional relationships can hinder personal growth in various ways, depending on who’s doing the enabling.
If you are the enabler, constantly accommodating your partner’s unhealthy or irresponsible behavior may require so much of your energy that there is little left over for your own individual growth.
On the contrary, if your partner is enabling you, staying in this relationship could be building an attitude of learned helplessness within you.There may be more subtle forms of codependency at play as well.
Consider if you are hesitant to push yourself out of your comfort zone — if you relationship is based mostly on feeling comfortable, with little growth happening.
If you notice signs of codependency in your relationship, you should seek professional counseling right away.
Signs may include lack of personal boundaries, people-pleasing, and excessive control.
Feeling powerless in life or in the relationship can lead to one partner exerting undue power over the other.
To prove their power, your partner may place unrealistic demands on you.
Insecurity, fear of abandonment or concern about their own lack of accomplishment can show up as lack of support or even jealousy.For instance, if you come home with a great idea or good news, does your partner ask, “Why would you want that? Why can’t you be happy with how thing are?” This could be a sign of your partner using guilt-trips or control to keep you stagnant. , Do you feel like you have to conform to your partner’s expectations or preferences? Narrow-minded people can be terribly difficult to deal with in general, but a narrow-minded partner can feel suffocating.
When one partner is narrow-minded, it can feel like you are being held back from exploring new aspects of life.
For example, you share a dream of traveling the world, and your partner is outraged. “We can’t afford that! It’s too dangerous to travel now-a-days!” Their response makes you less likely to explore and share your interests and dreams.
A healthy relationship features two partners who have both mutual and separate interests.
If you find yourself having to give up passions because they differ from your partner’s, you could be being held back., Consider whether you are ready for a deeper commitment but your partner is not.
Sometimes, being held back means one person wants to move forward in the relationship while the other person is happy where they are.
If you and your partner have been together for some time, yet they refuse to advance the relationship to the next level, this could translate into you being held back from getting the fulfillment you desire in a partnership., Perhaps you are held back in the way that your partner isn’t able to provide the emotional support you need.
You keep waiting around for them to build you up or support you, but it never happens.
If your partner is emotionally detached or immature, you could be missing out on the opportunity to be with someone who can be vulnerable and empathetic with you.
About the Author
Catherine Alvarez
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in crafts and beyond.
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