How to Know Who to Include in a Wedding Shower
Check the wedding invite list., Invite the bride’s attendants., Invite the bride’s closest friends., Invite local relatives., Invite the bride.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Check the wedding invite list.
The first thing to do when planning a bridal shower is to consult the official guest list for the wedding.
One of the biggest faux pas people make when planning a bridal shower is inviting people who are not already invited to the wedding.Showers generally consist of people getting excited for the wedding, so inviting people to the shower and not the wedding will make them feel both excluded and uncomfortable.
Showers are also centered around receiving and opening gifts, so inviting guests who are not invited to the wedding sometimes comes off as a gift grab. -
Step 2: Invite the bride’s attendants.
The bride’s maid of honor and bridesmaids are oftentimes some of her closest friends and relatives, so it’s important that they are included in the shower.
Invite all female attendants, even the ones who live out of town.Attendants who live out of town may not be able to make it, but it’s still considered good etiquette to include them.
Make sure to include the flower girl and anyone else who might be playing a role in the ceremony.
Ask the bride for a complete list of all her attendants to make sure you don’t accidentally overlook someone. , Ask the bride to make a list of her closest friends, outside her bridal party.
These are the women who should be included in the bridal shower.
If the bride is having trouble narrowing this down, ask her to go through the list and point out her best friend(s) from growing up, her closest friends from college and her current group of closest friends.You should not invite every female on the wedding guest list, so feel free to be picky in selecting the friends invited to the shower.
Choose whether or not you want to invite close friends who live out of state.
It’s a nice gesture to do so, but they may feel compelled to send a gift, even if they can’t attend, which might make them feel put on the spot. , If there are any female family members who live close to where the shower is being held, feel free to invite them as well.
This can include mothers and stepmothers on both sides, grandmothers on both sides and close female aunts and cousins on both sides.Do not go overboard with the relatives.
Aim to keep your guest list below 35 people, tops.Don’t double up on invites.
Sometimes, different groups of people throw different showers for the bride; for instance, the bride might get a family shower and a shower held by close friends.
Avoid overlap between the guest lists, as this just puts more pressure on guests to spend more money and buy more gifts., Unless the shower is a surprise, make sure you invite the bride.
And if the shower is a surprise, make sure you save an invitation and give it to her later; she’ll appreciate the thought and the souvenir of the special day.If the shower is a surprise, make sure that is clearly communicated on the invitations.
You don’t want someone accidentally spoiling the day! Depending on the shower and who is throwing it, you may also choose to invite the groom.
If you do choose to do this, stagger the groom’s arrival so he shows up after the party is well underway. -
Step 3: Invite the bride’s closest friends.
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Step 4: Invite local relatives.
-
Step 5: Invite the bride.
Detailed Guide
The first thing to do when planning a bridal shower is to consult the official guest list for the wedding.
One of the biggest faux pas people make when planning a bridal shower is inviting people who are not already invited to the wedding.Showers generally consist of people getting excited for the wedding, so inviting people to the shower and not the wedding will make them feel both excluded and uncomfortable.
Showers are also centered around receiving and opening gifts, so inviting guests who are not invited to the wedding sometimes comes off as a gift grab.
The bride’s maid of honor and bridesmaids are oftentimes some of her closest friends and relatives, so it’s important that they are included in the shower.
Invite all female attendants, even the ones who live out of town.Attendants who live out of town may not be able to make it, but it’s still considered good etiquette to include them.
Make sure to include the flower girl and anyone else who might be playing a role in the ceremony.
Ask the bride for a complete list of all her attendants to make sure you don’t accidentally overlook someone. , Ask the bride to make a list of her closest friends, outside her bridal party.
These are the women who should be included in the bridal shower.
If the bride is having trouble narrowing this down, ask her to go through the list and point out her best friend(s) from growing up, her closest friends from college and her current group of closest friends.You should not invite every female on the wedding guest list, so feel free to be picky in selecting the friends invited to the shower.
Choose whether or not you want to invite close friends who live out of state.
It’s a nice gesture to do so, but they may feel compelled to send a gift, even if they can’t attend, which might make them feel put on the spot. , If there are any female family members who live close to where the shower is being held, feel free to invite them as well.
This can include mothers and stepmothers on both sides, grandmothers on both sides and close female aunts and cousins on both sides.Do not go overboard with the relatives.
Aim to keep your guest list below 35 people, tops.Don’t double up on invites.
Sometimes, different groups of people throw different showers for the bride; for instance, the bride might get a family shower and a shower held by close friends.
Avoid overlap between the guest lists, as this just puts more pressure on guests to spend more money and buy more gifts., Unless the shower is a surprise, make sure you invite the bride.
And if the shower is a surprise, make sure you save an invitation and give it to her later; she’ll appreciate the thought and the souvenir of the special day.If the shower is a surprise, make sure that is clearly communicated on the invitations.
You don’t want someone accidentally spoiling the day! Depending on the shower and who is throwing it, you may also choose to invite the groom.
If you do choose to do this, stagger the groom’s arrival so he shows up after the party is well underway.
About the Author
Joshua Morales
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow lifestyle tutorials.
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