How to Let Go of a Long Distance Relationship
Be sure that you want to break up., Think about whether you can break up in person., Consider what you want to say ahead of time., Be kind, but firm., Stick to the facts., Practice self-care., Seek help if you have trouble moving on.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be sure that you want to break up.
Pay attention to your gut instinct.
Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should have an overall positive effect on your life.
If you have an unhealthy dynamic with your partner, or if you just have the nagging feeling that the relationship has run its course, it may be time to say goodbye.If your partner puts you down, gets jealous when you see your friends, or makes you do all the traveling when you visit each other, your relationship probably isn’t healthy.
Notice if you find yourself dreading visits or avoiding phone calls with your significant other. -
Step 2: Think about whether you can break up in person.
If you live halfway around the world from your boyfriend or girlfriend, traveling to break up with them might not be practical or possible.
However, it’s more respectful to break up with someone face-to-face, and saying goodbye in person will give you and your soon-to-be-ex a better sense of closure.The longer you’ve been with your long-distance partner, the more important it becomes that you break up with them in person.
If you can’t break up in person, have the conversation over the phone or a video call.
Whatever you do, avoid breaking up by email or text. , Think about why you want to break up, and decide how you’ll break the news to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you’re worried about getting emotional or forgetting what you want to say, ask a friend to help you practice by role-playing the conversation with you., Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend why the relationship isn’t working out for you.
Use “I” phrases instead of "you," and avoid criticizing them or blaming them for your decision to break up.For instance, don’t say, “You don’t make enough of an effort to stay in touch.” Instead, say, “I feel lonely when we don’t talk for days.” , Keep a cool head and avoid letting your emotions get the better of you, even if your boyfriend or girlfriend takes the breakup hard.
If they try to talk you out of your decision, remind them again why your mind is made up.
Don’t let the conversation turn into an argument.For example, you might say, "Even though I really love you, the long distance aspect of our relationship doesn't provide the kind of connection I need and want from a relationship." Arguing might give your ex false hope that they can talk you into getting back together in the future.
You might say, "I know you don't feel the same way, but I am certain about my decision."
If you are the person being dumped, you may be overwhelmed by sadness, confusion, or rejection.
If the other person has expressed a desire to end the relationship, you have no choice but to respect their wishes.
Take this time to care for yourself and heal emotionally.If you can, take off a few days from work or school and visit family or friends to put yourself in a new environment.
Do things that make you happy like shopping for a new outfit or watching your favorite movies.
Try writing in a journal to help express and sort out your feelings about the break up. , If you have trouble coming to terms with the breakup, it might help to see a school counselor or therapist in your area.
Sometimes, breakups are hard to move on from.
You may need professional help to come up with ideas to keep yourself busy, or start afresh after ending a relationship.
At your first visit, you might explain, "My long-distance girlfriend broke up with me.
She wasn't a part of my everyday life here, but I still feel so empty and alone.
I need help." -
Step 3: Consider what you want to say ahead of time.
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Step 4: Be kind
-
Step 5: but firm.
-
Step 6: Stick to the facts.
-
Step 7: Practice self-care.
-
Step 8: Seek help if you have trouble moving on.
Detailed Guide
Pay attention to your gut instinct.
Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should have an overall positive effect on your life.
If you have an unhealthy dynamic with your partner, or if you just have the nagging feeling that the relationship has run its course, it may be time to say goodbye.If your partner puts you down, gets jealous when you see your friends, or makes you do all the traveling when you visit each other, your relationship probably isn’t healthy.
Notice if you find yourself dreading visits or avoiding phone calls with your significant other.
If you live halfway around the world from your boyfriend or girlfriend, traveling to break up with them might not be practical or possible.
However, it’s more respectful to break up with someone face-to-face, and saying goodbye in person will give you and your soon-to-be-ex a better sense of closure.The longer you’ve been with your long-distance partner, the more important it becomes that you break up with them in person.
If you can’t break up in person, have the conversation over the phone or a video call.
Whatever you do, avoid breaking up by email or text. , Think about why you want to break up, and decide how you’ll break the news to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you’re worried about getting emotional or forgetting what you want to say, ask a friend to help you practice by role-playing the conversation with you., Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend why the relationship isn’t working out for you.
Use “I” phrases instead of "you," and avoid criticizing them or blaming them for your decision to break up.For instance, don’t say, “You don’t make enough of an effort to stay in touch.” Instead, say, “I feel lonely when we don’t talk for days.” , Keep a cool head and avoid letting your emotions get the better of you, even if your boyfriend or girlfriend takes the breakup hard.
If they try to talk you out of your decision, remind them again why your mind is made up.
Don’t let the conversation turn into an argument.For example, you might say, "Even though I really love you, the long distance aspect of our relationship doesn't provide the kind of connection I need and want from a relationship." Arguing might give your ex false hope that they can talk you into getting back together in the future.
You might say, "I know you don't feel the same way, but I am certain about my decision."
If you are the person being dumped, you may be overwhelmed by sadness, confusion, or rejection.
If the other person has expressed a desire to end the relationship, you have no choice but to respect their wishes.
Take this time to care for yourself and heal emotionally.If you can, take off a few days from work or school and visit family or friends to put yourself in a new environment.
Do things that make you happy like shopping for a new outfit or watching your favorite movies.
Try writing in a journal to help express and sort out your feelings about the break up. , If you have trouble coming to terms with the breakup, it might help to see a school counselor or therapist in your area.
Sometimes, breakups are hard to move on from.
You may need professional help to come up with ideas to keep yourself busy, or start afresh after ending a relationship.
At your first visit, you might explain, "My long-distance girlfriend broke up with me.
She wasn't a part of my everyday life here, but I still feel so empty and alone.
I need help."
About the Author
Jennifer Morales
Enthusiastic about teaching pet care techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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