How to Love Your Autistic Child
Learn about autism., Read blogs dedicated to loving autistic children., Take a break., Step away from social media., Value your sleep., Get a support network., Let yourself experience negative emotions., Quit trying to be a perfect parent.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Learn about autism.
It's helpful to understand why your child is different.
Research as much as you are able, so that you have a better understanding of the differences in your child's mind.
Be careful about your sources.
Groups like Autism Speaks may use fearmongering and talk about how having an autistic child will ruin your life.
This is false.Overly negative sources will scare you, not make you feel better.
The Autism Women's Network and Autism Acceptance Month websites have resources for parents. -
Step 2: Read blogs dedicated to loving autistic children.
Try Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance (PACLA), Respectfully Connected, Love Explosions, Emma's Hope Book (which is now co-run by Emma), and more.
Reading stories of other loving families can be helpful, and remind you to keep a positive attitude. , Parenting is exhausting work, full stop.
Ask around about babysitters, in your family or elsewhere. (Grandma might be overjoyed to spend more time with her grandchildren.) You can also look into respite services, which are offered to parents of disabled children.
This can give you time to recharge. , If you're getting overwhelmed, take a break from the internet.
It's okay to leave posts unread, and to be silent online for a while.
You can come back once you have more energy., A well-rested parent is going to be much happier and more effective than an exhausted zombie.
Use white noise, keep screens out of bed, keep a consistent bedtime schedule, and don't fear sleep medication if needed (for yourself or your child).If your child sleeps poorly, get them evaluated for epilepsy.
This may be the cause., Lean on family members, relatives, friends, and others who can help you handle the hard times.
Parenting doesn't have to be a solo operation.
Get familiar with the hashtag #AskAnAutistic.
Post a question about your child there, and autistic teens and adults who had/have the same problem can tell you what worked for them.
Respect your child's privacy.
No one wants information about their bad days or toileting habits online.
If you have a pretty personal parenting question, post anonymously or under a fake name, to protect your family's privacy., It's okay to be frustrated, confused, worried, or sad.
Take some quiet time to work through it in private, or with adults.
Write in a journal, play sports, listen to music, or do whatever helps you cope.
Vent your frustrations only when you are certain that your child is out of earshot.
You don't want to discover that they heard every word, and are now convinced that "Daddy hates me." Consider therapy for yourself if you are having a very hard time. , Putting in 110% effort into training your child every day isn't good for your health (or your child's).
Let your family be imperfect.
Let yourself take a rest.
If you're constantly battling to get your child to do more, you're doing it wrong.
Ease up.
Let yourself and your child relax for once.
It'll be okay. -
Step 3: Take a break.
-
Step 4: Step away from social media.
-
Step 5: Value your sleep.
-
Step 6: Get a support network.
-
Step 7: Let yourself experience negative emotions.
-
Step 8: Quit trying to be a perfect parent.
Detailed Guide
It's helpful to understand why your child is different.
Research as much as you are able, so that you have a better understanding of the differences in your child's mind.
Be careful about your sources.
Groups like Autism Speaks may use fearmongering and talk about how having an autistic child will ruin your life.
This is false.Overly negative sources will scare you, not make you feel better.
The Autism Women's Network and Autism Acceptance Month websites have resources for parents.
Try Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance (PACLA), Respectfully Connected, Love Explosions, Emma's Hope Book (which is now co-run by Emma), and more.
Reading stories of other loving families can be helpful, and remind you to keep a positive attitude. , Parenting is exhausting work, full stop.
Ask around about babysitters, in your family or elsewhere. (Grandma might be overjoyed to spend more time with her grandchildren.) You can also look into respite services, which are offered to parents of disabled children.
This can give you time to recharge. , If you're getting overwhelmed, take a break from the internet.
It's okay to leave posts unread, and to be silent online for a while.
You can come back once you have more energy., A well-rested parent is going to be much happier and more effective than an exhausted zombie.
Use white noise, keep screens out of bed, keep a consistent bedtime schedule, and don't fear sleep medication if needed (for yourself or your child).If your child sleeps poorly, get them evaluated for epilepsy.
This may be the cause., Lean on family members, relatives, friends, and others who can help you handle the hard times.
Parenting doesn't have to be a solo operation.
Get familiar with the hashtag #AskAnAutistic.
Post a question about your child there, and autistic teens and adults who had/have the same problem can tell you what worked for them.
Respect your child's privacy.
No one wants information about their bad days or toileting habits online.
If you have a pretty personal parenting question, post anonymously or under a fake name, to protect your family's privacy., It's okay to be frustrated, confused, worried, or sad.
Take some quiet time to work through it in private, or with adults.
Write in a journal, play sports, listen to music, or do whatever helps you cope.
Vent your frustrations only when you are certain that your child is out of earshot.
You don't want to discover that they heard every word, and are now convinced that "Daddy hates me." Consider therapy for yourself if you are having a very hard time. , Putting in 110% effort into training your child every day isn't good for your health (or your child's).
Let your family be imperfect.
Let yourself take a rest.
If you're constantly battling to get your child to do more, you're doing it wrong.
Ease up.
Let yourself and your child relax for once.
It'll be okay.
About the Author
Kimberly Jenkins
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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