How to Make an Interfaith Marriage Work
Avoid trying to convert your spouse., Look for common ground between your religious traditions., Educate yourself about your spouse’s religion., Participate in your spouse’s religious traditions., Help your spouse grow in faith along with you., Stay...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Avoid trying to convert your spouse.
Respect your spouse’s beliefs, however different they are from yours.
Don’t try to make them adopt your religion, and don’t criticize or make fun of them for their faith.
Remember that your spouse’s religion is just as important to them as yours is to you.For example, if your spouse is an atheist, it's unfair to try to force your religious views onto them.
Allow them the freedom to decide what they believe, just as you do.
Accept your spouse the way they are, and assume they won’t change.
If you hold out hope that your spouse will convert, it could strain your marriage. -
Step 2: Look for common ground between your religious traditions.
Many religions have similar ideas at their core.
Instead of focusing on all the ways you disagree with your spouse, find the issues that you do agree on.For instance, you and your spouse might have similar ideas about treating others well or raising a family. , Show your spouse that you respect and care about their spiritual life by making an effort to understand their faith better.
Ask them questions, read their holy texts, and seek out other educational resources about their religion.
As you learn, try to understand how your spouse’s faith has shaped them as a person.For example, you might ask, "What's a good book that can help me understand your faith?" to show you are trying to understand them better.
Invite your spouse to learn more about your faith as well.
Answer any questions they have, and help them find resources for learning more. , Ask your spouse to bring you to their services, and meet some other people in their religious community.
Help your spouse celebrate the holidays and traditions of their religion at home.For example, you might attend services with your spouse on Sundays and they might join you for mid-week services at your place of worship.
Make sure your spouse understands that you don’t intend to convert.
Explain that you are secure in your own beliefs, but you want to support their faith because you love them.
Make your spouse feel welcome in your religious spaces and traditions, too. , Encourage your spouse to make time for their religion and live according to their beliefs.
Consider praying or studying your religious texts together.For instance, each of you could say a prayer from your faith before a meal. , Sometimes, you and your spouse will probably have to compromise on things that matter to you both.
You may never agree on certain issues, but do your best to find a solution that makes you both feel respected.
Be prepared to put your marriage first, even if that means you don’t always get things your own way. -
Step 3: Educate yourself about your spouse’s religion.
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Step 4: Participate in your spouse’s religious traditions.
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Step 5: Help your spouse grow in faith along with you.
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Step 6: Stay flexible.
Detailed Guide
Respect your spouse’s beliefs, however different they are from yours.
Don’t try to make them adopt your religion, and don’t criticize or make fun of them for their faith.
Remember that your spouse’s religion is just as important to them as yours is to you.For example, if your spouse is an atheist, it's unfair to try to force your religious views onto them.
Allow them the freedom to decide what they believe, just as you do.
Accept your spouse the way they are, and assume they won’t change.
If you hold out hope that your spouse will convert, it could strain your marriage.
Many religions have similar ideas at their core.
Instead of focusing on all the ways you disagree with your spouse, find the issues that you do agree on.For instance, you and your spouse might have similar ideas about treating others well or raising a family. , Show your spouse that you respect and care about their spiritual life by making an effort to understand their faith better.
Ask them questions, read their holy texts, and seek out other educational resources about their religion.
As you learn, try to understand how your spouse’s faith has shaped them as a person.For example, you might ask, "What's a good book that can help me understand your faith?" to show you are trying to understand them better.
Invite your spouse to learn more about your faith as well.
Answer any questions they have, and help them find resources for learning more. , Ask your spouse to bring you to their services, and meet some other people in their religious community.
Help your spouse celebrate the holidays and traditions of their religion at home.For example, you might attend services with your spouse on Sundays and they might join you for mid-week services at your place of worship.
Make sure your spouse understands that you don’t intend to convert.
Explain that you are secure in your own beliefs, but you want to support their faith because you love them.
Make your spouse feel welcome in your religious spaces and traditions, too. , Encourage your spouse to make time for their religion and live according to their beliefs.
Consider praying or studying your religious texts together.For instance, each of you could say a prayer from your faith before a meal. , Sometimes, you and your spouse will probably have to compromise on things that matter to you both.
You may never agree on certain issues, but do your best to find a solution that makes you both feel respected.
Be prepared to put your marriage first, even if that means you don’t always get things your own way.
About the Author
Deborah Hart
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in creative arts and beyond.
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