How to Make Sex Important in a Relationship

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Schedule sex.

   No, it’s not romantic.
   
   But sometimes life gets in the way, and you are too busy or tired to make time for it.
   
   While it might feel awkward at first, and not at all spontaneous, you may eventually find yourself looking forward to that time of reconnecting with your partner.Discuss how often you want to have sex and come to an agreement.
   
   Mark the dates in your calendars so you don’t forget.
   
   Consider scheduling sex for a month or two to see if this is a strategy that works for you.
2. 2

   Step 2: Make it a date night.

   If you are having a hard time getting used to the idea of scheduling sex, consider that in the early days of your relationship, you likely inadvertently “scheduled” it.
   
   For example, when you first started dating, you may have known you would see your partner on Friday night.
   
   You may have anticipated that you would have sex that evening, which may have been exciting or arousing for both of you.Plan a fun evening out with your partner.
   
   Tease and flirt with each other to generate that “new date” excitement.
   
   Keep the excitement going until you can get to a private place to get it on. , It’s easy to get sucked into binge-watching TV shows or getting lost in the internet in your free time, instead of spending that time connecting with your partner.
   
   Consider making a pact with your partner that you will spend a set amount of time each day or week just spending time together, without your phones or another screen present.
   
   You may not wish to put pressure on yourselves to have sex; rather, this can just be a time to connect and hang out with each other.
   
   If sex happens, great! But even if it doesn’t, you are laying the groundwork for further intimacy down the road.
   
   You could ask your partner, “Do you just want to lay in bed and relax for a little bit? I could rub your back, or we could just cuddle.” , Many people are exhausted at the end of the day, when they finally reconnect with their partner.
   
   If you want to make sex a priority in your relationship, however, don’t your fatigue as an excuse.
   
   Get creative and find some ways to work it into your day.If the two of you are morning people, wake up a little earlier in the morning.
   
   Find creative ways to have sex during the day, like in the shower while getting ready for work, or meeting on your lunch breaks for a quickie.
   
   Wake yourself up in the evening with some exercise.
   
   You’ll feel more alert and energized. , If you are going to bed at different times, it is likely going to be difficult for you to make time for sex in the evenings, as one of you may already be asleep.
   
   Try going to bed at the same time as your partner and see what happens.While the first few nights you may actually fall asleep without sex, as your body adjusts to the extra sleep and new schedule, you may find yourself reaching for your partner before falling asleep. , We live in a culture saturated by sex.
   
   You may feel pressure to have more sex in your relationship because of what you are seeing in the media.The right amount of sex for you and your partner is what you and your partner decide works for you, not what some magazine says! It’s okay if you don’t want to have sex twice a week and would rather have it twice a month.
   
   Maybe you’re not interested in sex at all.
   
   As long as you and your partner are on the same page about your sex life together, your libido is not a problem!
3. 3

   Step 3: Turn off the TV and other distractions.

4. 4

   Step 4: Find energy for sex.

5. 5

   Step 5: Go to bed earlier

6. 6

   Step 6: with your partner.

7. 7

   Step 7: Remember there’s no “right amount” of sex.

Detailed Guide

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