How to Make Your Wife Feel Loved
Take advice but trust your instincts., Show you know her best., Speak her language.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Take advice but trust your instincts.
There are many thousands of web pages dedicated to telling you how to make the special woman in your life feel beautiful, appreciated, and loved — including this one, of course.
Remember, however, that you are not trying to make a generic “woman” feel loved, but rather that one unique woman in the world, your wife.
Some women want to be showered with gifts, others get more pleasure out of the money you saved on the grocery bill.
Some want to be treated like a princess, others like a true equal.
Use the tips here as a guide, then, not a guarantee.
Please also note that, because this article is most likely to be consulted by husbands seeking to make their wives feel more loved, some generalizations on marriage roles and gender traits may appear within the steps.
However, most of the advice should be more broadly applicable to your particular situation. -
Step 2: Show you know her best.
You’ll find lots of advice columns that say bring her bouquets of flowers, but you know she really prefers a big slice of good cheesecake.
As her spouse, you (hopefully) know her better than anyone else in the world, and one of the best ways to make her feel loved is to prove this point.
Dr.
John Gottman, a recognized authority in the field, speaks of "enhancing your love map."Essentially, what this means is getting to know each other's worlds (history, current concerns, hopes and dreams, etc.) even better and using this mutual knowledge to strengthen your bond.
If your map of her world is a bit lacking in detail, work on becoming more open and interested in listening and learning.
Other sections of this article should be of use in doing so.
Think about activities and experiences that have made your wife happiest.
Take notes on them if necessary.
If she loves a good adventure, make that a priority.
If the simple pleasures of a quiet night together sitting on the couch makes the mark, go that route.
In some ways, you may know her better than she knows herself.
So don’t always just do what she says she wants from you to make her feel loved.
Listen, observe, learn, draw on your history together, and do what you know will make her feel loved. , The concept of the "five love languages" has become well-known in regards to relationship problems and solutions.Often, it seems, the problem is not that you (the spouse) are not attempting to show love, but that manner in which you express it (your "language") is not being translated as such by your wife.
According to this concept, the five love languages are: words of affirmation; acts of service; receiving gifts; quality time; and physical touch.
The theory is that each person receives love predominately in one of these five languages.
For instance, a wife who "speaks" quality time feels more loved from a picnic in the park than from you cleaning out her car (acts of service) or buying her flowers (receiving gifts).
Here again, you need to draw upon your history, experiences, and unique bond with your wife.
Think about what types of love expressions are most powerfully received by her, and rededicate yourself to offering your love according to her "native tongue." Even if you don't fully buy that we all fit into one of the five "love language" categories, it certainly can only help to more deeply analyze what types of love expressions are most effective with your wife. -
Step 3: Speak her language.
Detailed Guide
There are many thousands of web pages dedicated to telling you how to make the special woman in your life feel beautiful, appreciated, and loved — including this one, of course.
Remember, however, that you are not trying to make a generic “woman” feel loved, but rather that one unique woman in the world, your wife.
Some women want to be showered with gifts, others get more pleasure out of the money you saved on the grocery bill.
Some want to be treated like a princess, others like a true equal.
Use the tips here as a guide, then, not a guarantee.
Please also note that, because this article is most likely to be consulted by husbands seeking to make their wives feel more loved, some generalizations on marriage roles and gender traits may appear within the steps.
However, most of the advice should be more broadly applicable to your particular situation.
You’ll find lots of advice columns that say bring her bouquets of flowers, but you know she really prefers a big slice of good cheesecake.
As her spouse, you (hopefully) know her better than anyone else in the world, and one of the best ways to make her feel loved is to prove this point.
Dr.
John Gottman, a recognized authority in the field, speaks of "enhancing your love map."Essentially, what this means is getting to know each other's worlds (history, current concerns, hopes and dreams, etc.) even better and using this mutual knowledge to strengthen your bond.
If your map of her world is a bit lacking in detail, work on becoming more open and interested in listening and learning.
Other sections of this article should be of use in doing so.
Think about activities and experiences that have made your wife happiest.
Take notes on them if necessary.
If she loves a good adventure, make that a priority.
If the simple pleasures of a quiet night together sitting on the couch makes the mark, go that route.
In some ways, you may know her better than she knows herself.
So don’t always just do what she says she wants from you to make her feel loved.
Listen, observe, learn, draw on your history together, and do what you know will make her feel loved. , The concept of the "five love languages" has become well-known in regards to relationship problems and solutions.Often, it seems, the problem is not that you (the spouse) are not attempting to show love, but that manner in which you express it (your "language") is not being translated as such by your wife.
According to this concept, the five love languages are: words of affirmation; acts of service; receiving gifts; quality time; and physical touch.
The theory is that each person receives love predominately in one of these five languages.
For instance, a wife who "speaks" quality time feels more loved from a picnic in the park than from you cleaning out her car (acts of service) or buying her flowers (receiving gifts).
Here again, you need to draw upon your history, experiences, and unique bond with your wife.
Think about what types of love expressions are most powerfully received by her, and rededicate yourself to offering your love according to her "native tongue." Even if you don't fully buy that we all fit into one of the five "love language" categories, it certainly can only help to more deeply analyze what types of love expressions are most effective with your wife.
About the Author
John Hernandez
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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