How to Make Yourself Not Love Someone
Ask yourself if you really love this person., Determine whether there is any hope for a relationship., Make a list of all the reasons why it would never work., Focus on developing relationships with available people., Remind yourself that you...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Ask yourself if you really love this person.
Sometimes it might feel like you love someone
- the hot guy who works at Starbucks, your best friend's sister, someone you met on the internet, or a favorite musician or movie star
- but it's really just an infatuation or crush.
Yes, you might think about them all the time and imagine what it would be like to be with them, but if you never spend any time with them or they don't even know you exist, it's unlikely that what you're feeling is love.
True love requires reciprocation, it requires spending time with the person and getting to know all of their individual quirks and flaws.
If you haven't experienced this, then it's more likely that you're more in love with the idea of the person, than with the person themselves.
If you can persuade yourself that what you're feeling isn't really love
- in the true sense of the word
- then you will find it a lot easier to move on. -
Step 2: Determine whether there is any hope for a relationship.
The next thing you need to do is analyze the situation and figure out if there is any possibility of a relationship blossoming between you and your loved one.
If there is a realistic possibility
- like a single person at work or school who you just haven't had the confidence to approach yet
- then all is not lost and you should consider mustering up your courage and asking them out on a date.
If, however, the person you love is your best friend's girlfriend, your English teacher, or, say, Leonardo DiCaprio, then you should probably just cut your losses and move on.
It's never going to happen.
This may be harsh, but the sooner you accept the truth, the easier it will be for you to move on. , Making a list of concrete reasons why a relationship between you and the other person would never work can be very helpful when you're pining for them and need a little reminder of why you should stop.
It could be absolutely anything
- from the fact that there's a thirty year age gap between you, to the fact that they're gay, to the fact that you could never truly love someone who has a tattoo of a Celtic cross on their left bicep.
Be brutally honest with yourself
- your heart will thank you for it in the long run.
Tell yourself that he/she isn't the nicest person and they don't deserve you. , Do yourself a favor and stop mooning over someone it's never going to work out with and start focusing your attentions on someone more available.
Perhaps you've been so busy loving someone from a distance that you haven't noticed your soul mate sitting right under your nose.
You know that male friend that's always offering to carry your books for you? Or that girl who looks you directly in the eyes and smiles every time she passes by? Focus on him/her.
Even if you don't develop any romantic engagements immediately, it's always good to put yourself out there and endeavor to meet new people. , Unrequited love is painful and is something that no one deserves to live with forever, especially someone as amazing as you.
You deserve to be with someone who adores you, who thinks the sun shines out of you, who wants to spend the rest of their lives with you.
Forget the idiot who doesn't love you back and refuse to settle for anything less than pure, unadulterated adoration.
Try using positive affirmations to remind yourself of how awesome you are.
Look in the mirror and repeat five times "I am an amazing person who deserves to be loved".
You may feel silly at first, but sooner or later it will start to sink in. -
Step 3: Make a list of all the reasons why it would never work.
-
Step 4: Focus on developing relationships with available people.
-
Step 5: Remind yourself that you deserve to love someone who loves you back.
Detailed Guide
Sometimes it might feel like you love someone
- the hot guy who works at Starbucks, your best friend's sister, someone you met on the internet, or a favorite musician or movie star
- but it's really just an infatuation or crush.
Yes, you might think about them all the time and imagine what it would be like to be with them, but if you never spend any time with them or they don't even know you exist, it's unlikely that what you're feeling is love.
True love requires reciprocation, it requires spending time with the person and getting to know all of their individual quirks and flaws.
If you haven't experienced this, then it's more likely that you're more in love with the idea of the person, than with the person themselves.
If you can persuade yourself that what you're feeling isn't really love
- in the true sense of the word
- then you will find it a lot easier to move on.
The next thing you need to do is analyze the situation and figure out if there is any possibility of a relationship blossoming between you and your loved one.
If there is a realistic possibility
- like a single person at work or school who you just haven't had the confidence to approach yet
- then all is not lost and you should consider mustering up your courage and asking them out on a date.
If, however, the person you love is your best friend's girlfriend, your English teacher, or, say, Leonardo DiCaprio, then you should probably just cut your losses and move on.
It's never going to happen.
This may be harsh, but the sooner you accept the truth, the easier it will be for you to move on. , Making a list of concrete reasons why a relationship between you and the other person would never work can be very helpful when you're pining for them and need a little reminder of why you should stop.
It could be absolutely anything
- from the fact that there's a thirty year age gap between you, to the fact that they're gay, to the fact that you could never truly love someone who has a tattoo of a Celtic cross on their left bicep.
Be brutally honest with yourself
- your heart will thank you for it in the long run.
Tell yourself that he/she isn't the nicest person and they don't deserve you. , Do yourself a favor and stop mooning over someone it's never going to work out with and start focusing your attentions on someone more available.
Perhaps you've been so busy loving someone from a distance that you haven't noticed your soul mate sitting right under your nose.
You know that male friend that's always offering to carry your books for you? Or that girl who looks you directly in the eyes and smiles every time she passes by? Focus on him/her.
Even if you don't develop any romantic engagements immediately, it's always good to put yourself out there and endeavor to meet new people. , Unrequited love is painful and is something that no one deserves to live with forever, especially someone as amazing as you.
You deserve to be with someone who adores you, who thinks the sun shines out of you, who wants to spend the rest of their lives with you.
Forget the idiot who doesn't love you back and refuse to settle for anything less than pure, unadulterated adoration.
Try using positive affirmations to remind yourself of how awesome you are.
Look in the mirror and repeat five times "I am an amazing person who deserves to be loved".
You may feel silly at first, but sooner or later it will start to sink in.
About the Author
Emily Ferguson
Specializes in breaking down complex hobbies topics into simple steps.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: