How to Practice Openness in a Relationship
Choose good times to talk., Listen as much as you talk., Watch non-verbal signals., Deal with conflict calmly., Remain in the present.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose good times to talk.
If you want to foster open conversation, talk regularly.
Be on the lookout for times to talk to your partner, especially if you're bringing up a potentially touchy or stressful subject.Talk at a time free of outside distractions.
For example, stop your partner to talk when they're lounging in the living room after dinner.
You want a time free of outside time constraints where the conversation will not be easily disrupted.
This is especially important if you're striving for a serious conversation.
You should make sure you do not approach your partner about a serious matter when they are already stressed or busy. -
Step 2: Listen as much as you talk.
Communication goes both ways.
If you want an open, honest relationship you want to make sure you understand your partner.
Give them a chance to express themselves so you can be open with one another equally.Do not think about what you plan to say next when your partner is talking.
Instead, listen to their words.
Try to understand what they're saying.
Wait a few minutes after your partner finishes talking to respond.
This makes sure they were done talking.
It may feel awkward, but it's often helpful to rephrase what your partner just said.
For example, "I'm hearing that you feel a little stressed at work right now because your boss is away on vacation." This can help assure your partner you heard them, making them feel open communicating with you in the future. , As you're opening up, pay attention to your partner.
Watch for non-verbal signals so you can see how your partner feels about what you're expressing.
This can help you deal with any potential conflicts.If you notice your partner folding their arms, they may feel defensive about something you're saying.
If your partner does not make eye contact, they may not be listening, or they might be feeling uncomfortable or confused.
If they speak in an aggressive tone, they may be angry. , If a conflict does arise, you need to discuss your feelings openly and honestly.
Do so in a respectful fashion.
Do not yell or become agitated.
Instead, say something like, "It seems like we're clashing here.
Can we take a step back, and talk about the issue openly and respectfully?"Using "I"-statements can help here.
These statements minimize blame, which can help with openness.
They have three parts.
They begin with, "I feel..." after which you immediately state your feeling.
Then, you explain the actions that lead to that feeling.
Lastly, you say why you feel the way you do.For example, "I feel controlled when you discourage me from hanging out with Steffany because I think I should be allowed to have friends, even if you don't like them."
During any conversation, remain in the present.
You should never let your thoughts wander to other territories when your partner is talking.
This can damage openness in a relationship.
Your partner is unlikely to feel like they can be open with you if you're not 100% present.If you feel your mind wandering, find a way to return it to the present.
You can, for example, pay attention to a physical sensation, like the feeling in your toes, to help ground you in the moment.
You can also focus on your breathing and try to take slow, deep breaths. -
Step 3: Watch non-verbal signals.
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Step 4: Deal with conflict calmly.
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Step 5: Remain in the present.
Detailed Guide
If you want to foster open conversation, talk regularly.
Be on the lookout for times to talk to your partner, especially if you're bringing up a potentially touchy or stressful subject.Talk at a time free of outside distractions.
For example, stop your partner to talk when they're lounging in the living room after dinner.
You want a time free of outside time constraints where the conversation will not be easily disrupted.
This is especially important if you're striving for a serious conversation.
You should make sure you do not approach your partner about a serious matter when they are already stressed or busy.
Communication goes both ways.
If you want an open, honest relationship you want to make sure you understand your partner.
Give them a chance to express themselves so you can be open with one another equally.Do not think about what you plan to say next when your partner is talking.
Instead, listen to their words.
Try to understand what they're saying.
Wait a few minutes after your partner finishes talking to respond.
This makes sure they were done talking.
It may feel awkward, but it's often helpful to rephrase what your partner just said.
For example, "I'm hearing that you feel a little stressed at work right now because your boss is away on vacation." This can help assure your partner you heard them, making them feel open communicating with you in the future. , As you're opening up, pay attention to your partner.
Watch for non-verbal signals so you can see how your partner feels about what you're expressing.
This can help you deal with any potential conflicts.If you notice your partner folding their arms, they may feel defensive about something you're saying.
If your partner does not make eye contact, they may not be listening, or they might be feeling uncomfortable or confused.
If they speak in an aggressive tone, they may be angry. , If a conflict does arise, you need to discuss your feelings openly and honestly.
Do so in a respectful fashion.
Do not yell or become agitated.
Instead, say something like, "It seems like we're clashing here.
Can we take a step back, and talk about the issue openly and respectfully?"Using "I"-statements can help here.
These statements minimize blame, which can help with openness.
They have three parts.
They begin with, "I feel..." after which you immediately state your feeling.
Then, you explain the actions that lead to that feeling.
Lastly, you say why you feel the way you do.For example, "I feel controlled when you discourage me from hanging out with Steffany because I think I should be allowed to have friends, even if you don't like them."
During any conversation, remain in the present.
You should never let your thoughts wander to other territories when your partner is talking.
This can damage openness in a relationship.
Your partner is unlikely to feel like they can be open with you if you're not 100% present.If you feel your mind wandering, find a way to return it to the present.
You can, for example, pay attention to a physical sensation, like the feeling in your toes, to help ground you in the moment.
You can also focus on your breathing and try to take slow, deep breaths.
About the Author
Pamela Jackson
Enthusiastic about teaching organization techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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