How to Pursue Relationships As Your Authentic Self
Take a self inventory., Come to terms with your weaknesses., Find goals that serve your best interests., Keep a journal., Think of finding authenticity as an ongoing process.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Take a self inventory.
Think of qualities that drive you and define your character.
Recognize the things that you’re most proud of and would like to share with others.You could reflect on values like honesty, humor, a sense of duty, or independence.
You could also recognize other traits or talents, like being good at a sport, drawing, or playing an instrument. -
Step 2: Come to terms with your weaknesses.
The next step in taking your personal inventory is to consider things that you’re not so proud of, but are part of who you are.
An essential step in becoming your authentic self is recognizing that no one is perfect, and learning to accept and love yourself exactly as you are.There might be some things you'd like to change about yourself, but make sure this is coming from a place of self-improvement and not for the benefit of others.
Some traits can’t be changed.
Whether you don’t like your height, or just can’t seem to learn how to dance, there are things that you should try to accept and appreciate.
Learning to appreciate how they make you unique will help you show up as your authentic self in relationships.
This doesn't mean you need to be "stuck in your ways." For instance, if you have a short temper, you may want to work on anger management skills, because you don't like the way it makes you feel when you react so heatedly.
This doesn't mean, however, that you should be ashamed or hide this part of you.
You might say to yourself, "I have a short temper, but I still love and accept myself."
Many goals, like wanting to make lots of money or to lose weight, serve to fit society’s expectations.
Instead of doing things to look good for other people, pursue goals that are rewarding, fulfill lifelong dreams, or express your values.Think of childhood dreams, deep passions, and things that don’t have an immediate use.
Examples might be learning to paint, reading a book every week, traveling, or gardening.
Pursuing goals that express your authentic self will help build your confidence and self-knowledge.
These qualities will help you avoid misrepresenting yourself just to please others.
Note that this doesn't mean making money or losing weight are inherently "fake" goals.
You may want to make more money to support and provide for yourself, or you may want to lose weight to be healthier.
The key is to examine your motivation for these goals — are they truly for your benefit and something you want, or something you feel you're "supposed" to do or want? , Journaling is an effective way to get to know yourself.
Take 15 to 20 minutes a day to write about your experiences and how they made you feel.
Once every week or two, read back your entries to review your thoughts.Writing and reading what you’ve written will help you develop a healthy level of self-examination.
Critical thinking is an important part of being authentic, but you don’t want to be overly critical about your every step. , Remember that discovering your authentic self is a journey without a fixed destination.
We all proceed through phases of authenticity and inauthenticity throughout our lives.
Keep taking regular personal inventories by reflecting on your values, strengths, weaknesses, and goals.
Ongoing self-examination will help you pursue and maintain relationships as your authentic self. -
Step 3: Find goals that serve your best interests.
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Step 4: Keep a journal.
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Step 5: Think of finding authenticity as an ongoing process.
Detailed Guide
Think of qualities that drive you and define your character.
Recognize the things that you’re most proud of and would like to share with others.You could reflect on values like honesty, humor, a sense of duty, or independence.
You could also recognize other traits or talents, like being good at a sport, drawing, or playing an instrument.
The next step in taking your personal inventory is to consider things that you’re not so proud of, but are part of who you are.
An essential step in becoming your authentic self is recognizing that no one is perfect, and learning to accept and love yourself exactly as you are.There might be some things you'd like to change about yourself, but make sure this is coming from a place of self-improvement and not for the benefit of others.
Some traits can’t be changed.
Whether you don’t like your height, or just can’t seem to learn how to dance, there are things that you should try to accept and appreciate.
Learning to appreciate how they make you unique will help you show up as your authentic self in relationships.
This doesn't mean you need to be "stuck in your ways." For instance, if you have a short temper, you may want to work on anger management skills, because you don't like the way it makes you feel when you react so heatedly.
This doesn't mean, however, that you should be ashamed or hide this part of you.
You might say to yourself, "I have a short temper, but I still love and accept myself."
Many goals, like wanting to make lots of money or to lose weight, serve to fit society’s expectations.
Instead of doing things to look good for other people, pursue goals that are rewarding, fulfill lifelong dreams, or express your values.Think of childhood dreams, deep passions, and things that don’t have an immediate use.
Examples might be learning to paint, reading a book every week, traveling, or gardening.
Pursuing goals that express your authentic self will help build your confidence and self-knowledge.
These qualities will help you avoid misrepresenting yourself just to please others.
Note that this doesn't mean making money or losing weight are inherently "fake" goals.
You may want to make more money to support and provide for yourself, or you may want to lose weight to be healthier.
The key is to examine your motivation for these goals — are they truly for your benefit and something you want, or something you feel you're "supposed" to do or want? , Journaling is an effective way to get to know yourself.
Take 15 to 20 minutes a day to write about your experiences and how they made you feel.
Once every week or two, read back your entries to review your thoughts.Writing and reading what you’ve written will help you develop a healthy level of self-examination.
Critical thinking is an important part of being authentic, but you don’t want to be overly critical about your every step. , Remember that discovering your authentic self is a journey without a fixed destination.
We all proceed through phases of authenticity and inauthenticity throughout our lives.
Keep taking regular personal inventories by reflecting on your values, strengths, weaknesses, and goals.
Ongoing self-examination will help you pursue and maintain relationships as your authentic self.
About the Author
Angela Hernandez
Creates helpful guides on hobbies to inspire and educate readers.
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