How to React to a Friend Who Flirts with Your Spouse
Demonstrate affection for your partner., Make a joke or comment to diffuse the situation., Remove yourself and your partner from the situation., Take time to process your emotions.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Demonstrate affection for your partner.
If you’re concerned that a friend is flirting with your spouse, move near your partner (even if you’re across the room) and make a physical or verbal demonstrative gesture.
For example, you could put your arm around your partner, tousle their hair with your hand, sit on their lap (if appropriate given the context), or give them a kiss.This demonstrative affection will make you seem calm and confident, even if you feel jealous or insecure internally. -
Step 2: Make a joke or comment to diffuse the situation.
This will be useful if your friend is unaware that their behavior seems flirtatious, and to communicate to your spouse that you don’t necessarily approve of the friend’s actions.
If your friend is intentionally flirting, your comment can serve as a warning or “back off” signal, making clear that you don’t appreciate their advances toward your spouse.Say something like: “Hey this is my spouse, go find one of your own!” “We’ll have to find you a girlfriend or boyfriend of your own, buddy.” , If your friend continues their flirtatious behavior, even while you’re close at hand, it may be time to leave the situation before you become angry or the flirtation becomes more serious.
If your spouse appears to be enjoying the flirtatious attention from your friend and even returns the behavior, it’s best to remove you and your partner from the situation, whether it’s a dinner party, happy hour at a bar, or an evening out on the town.Even if you’re angry at this point, avoid taking it out on the friend or your spouse before you’ve had a chance to discuss what happened. , It’s important that you acknowledge—both to your spouse and to yourself—that you’re upset over what happened.
It would be wise to acknowledge these feelings before expressing any anger towards your spouse or towards your friend.
Give yourself time to decide if you are truly offended by your friend’s actions or you were only annoyed in the moment.If you process emotions best by thinking through the event and considering the various responses you could have, take a long walk to give yourself time to think.
Be sure to consider if there is a pattern.
For example, does this sort of thing happen often, or has it ever happened before? Do you often feel jealous? -
Step 3: Remove yourself and your partner from the situation.
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Step 4: Take time to process your emotions.
Detailed Guide
If you’re concerned that a friend is flirting with your spouse, move near your partner (even if you’re across the room) and make a physical or verbal demonstrative gesture.
For example, you could put your arm around your partner, tousle their hair with your hand, sit on their lap (if appropriate given the context), or give them a kiss.This demonstrative affection will make you seem calm and confident, even if you feel jealous or insecure internally.
This will be useful if your friend is unaware that their behavior seems flirtatious, and to communicate to your spouse that you don’t necessarily approve of the friend’s actions.
If your friend is intentionally flirting, your comment can serve as a warning or “back off” signal, making clear that you don’t appreciate their advances toward your spouse.Say something like: “Hey this is my spouse, go find one of your own!” “We’ll have to find you a girlfriend or boyfriend of your own, buddy.” , If your friend continues their flirtatious behavior, even while you’re close at hand, it may be time to leave the situation before you become angry or the flirtation becomes more serious.
If your spouse appears to be enjoying the flirtatious attention from your friend and even returns the behavior, it’s best to remove you and your partner from the situation, whether it’s a dinner party, happy hour at a bar, or an evening out on the town.Even if you’re angry at this point, avoid taking it out on the friend or your spouse before you’ve had a chance to discuss what happened. , It’s important that you acknowledge—both to your spouse and to yourself—that you’re upset over what happened.
It would be wise to acknowledge these feelings before expressing any anger towards your spouse or towards your friend.
Give yourself time to decide if you are truly offended by your friend’s actions or you were only annoyed in the moment.If you process emotions best by thinking through the event and considering the various responses you could have, take a long walk to give yourself time to think.
Be sure to consider if there is a pattern.
For example, does this sort of thing happen often, or has it ever happened before? Do you often feel jealous?
About the Author
Katherine Mendoza
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in practical skills and beyond.
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