How to Recover when Your Girlfriend Gets Married to Another Guy
Keep your distance., Avoid overreacting., Remind yourself that the worst is over., Find a support system.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Keep your distance.
You may feel surprised and hurt when you hear the news.
Though it may feel almost impossible not to contact her immediately, hold yourself back from doing so.
She made a decision that was hers to make, despite the fact it may pain you immensely.Resist the urge to text.
If you can’t stop thinking about things you want to say, reach out to a close friend with whom you can talk.
Or, try writing them down.
Unfollow, unfriend, and otherwise avoid interacting with her on social media.
Do not allow yourself to even view her social media profiles.
If you catch yourself doing so, don’t become frustrated with yourself; simply stop and do something else. -
Step 2: Avoid overreacting.
Even in a scenario where you were egregiously mistreated, do not do anything motivated by a desire for vengeance.
While it goes without saying that you should not do anything dangerous or illegal, you should also avoid saying or doing anything disrespectful.
In particular, do not repeatedly contact her to question her righteousness or morality.When you’re feeling betrayed you will likely catch yourself thinking one-dimensionally in terms of who is in the wrong.
Do not allow your initial thoughts and feelings to guide your behavior.
Avoid making a scene or acting hysterical.
This may mean avoiding your ex if seeing her will lead to strong emotional responses.
If you’re struggling to keep it together, commit to a regular daily routine.
Structure and repetitiveness are comforting, especially when you may be stressed.
Avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope.
Not only are these unhealthy behaviors, they may lead you to behave in ways that you will regret.
Instead, try calming yourself with deep breathing, meditation, going for a run, or doing anything else that helps you center yourself. , Again, this won’t immediately remove the pain that you’re feeling; however, it may help you start to get in the mindset that will be necessary to move on.
You’ve endured some potentially traumatizing news, and getting through it will allow you to better face hard realizations moving forward.If a more blunt approach works better for you, remind yourself that you do not have a choice in the matter.
You must move on, and you know you will eventually, even if it may not feel possible in this moment.
Take pride in moments of resilience.
When you think of her all of a sudden after not thinking of her a while, congratulate yourself for starting to move on, whether it feels like you’ve been able to do so or not. , Though it may seem like a strong word, your experience will likely cause you to experience grief.
Grieving is a process, during which you may need extra support from other people.
Reach out to close friends or family members, especially those that have gone through a painful separation themselves.Focus on spending time with people who excite you.
Positive people who are good at listening are the best type to help you heal.
Further, make sure you’re around those you can speak with honestly without worrying about judgment or criticism.
Find new friends! In the course of dating, many people see their social networks shrink.
This may be even worse if you shared in most of your friendships with your girlfriend.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to those who interest you, and make plans to do something simple and see if you hit it off.
Don't hesitate to ask for help explicitly.
Say something along the lines of, "Hey, can I tell you about some of the thoughts I've been having? I think it'll help to get them off my chest, and I'd appreciate your advice." -
Step 3: Remind yourself that the worst is over.
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Step 4: Find a support system.
Detailed Guide
You may feel surprised and hurt when you hear the news.
Though it may feel almost impossible not to contact her immediately, hold yourself back from doing so.
She made a decision that was hers to make, despite the fact it may pain you immensely.Resist the urge to text.
If you can’t stop thinking about things you want to say, reach out to a close friend with whom you can talk.
Or, try writing them down.
Unfollow, unfriend, and otherwise avoid interacting with her on social media.
Do not allow yourself to even view her social media profiles.
If you catch yourself doing so, don’t become frustrated with yourself; simply stop and do something else.
Even in a scenario where you were egregiously mistreated, do not do anything motivated by a desire for vengeance.
While it goes without saying that you should not do anything dangerous or illegal, you should also avoid saying or doing anything disrespectful.
In particular, do not repeatedly contact her to question her righteousness or morality.When you’re feeling betrayed you will likely catch yourself thinking one-dimensionally in terms of who is in the wrong.
Do not allow your initial thoughts and feelings to guide your behavior.
Avoid making a scene or acting hysterical.
This may mean avoiding your ex if seeing her will lead to strong emotional responses.
If you’re struggling to keep it together, commit to a regular daily routine.
Structure and repetitiveness are comforting, especially when you may be stressed.
Avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope.
Not only are these unhealthy behaviors, they may lead you to behave in ways that you will regret.
Instead, try calming yourself with deep breathing, meditation, going for a run, or doing anything else that helps you center yourself. , Again, this won’t immediately remove the pain that you’re feeling; however, it may help you start to get in the mindset that will be necessary to move on.
You’ve endured some potentially traumatizing news, and getting through it will allow you to better face hard realizations moving forward.If a more blunt approach works better for you, remind yourself that you do not have a choice in the matter.
You must move on, and you know you will eventually, even if it may not feel possible in this moment.
Take pride in moments of resilience.
When you think of her all of a sudden after not thinking of her a while, congratulate yourself for starting to move on, whether it feels like you’ve been able to do so or not. , Though it may seem like a strong word, your experience will likely cause you to experience grief.
Grieving is a process, during which you may need extra support from other people.
Reach out to close friends or family members, especially those that have gone through a painful separation themselves.Focus on spending time with people who excite you.
Positive people who are good at listening are the best type to help you heal.
Further, make sure you’re around those you can speak with honestly without worrying about judgment or criticism.
Find new friends! In the course of dating, many people see their social networks shrink.
This may be even worse if you shared in most of your friendships with your girlfriend.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to those who interest you, and make plans to do something simple and see if you hit it off.
Don't hesitate to ask for help explicitly.
Say something along the lines of, "Hey, can I tell you about some of the thoughts I've been having? I think it'll help to get them off my chest, and I'd appreciate your advice."
About the Author
Olivia Hill
Enthusiastic about teaching lifestyle techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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