How to Say No to a Date

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Be honest and upfront when saying no.

   Your “no” can be accompanied with your true reason for not dating that person, or you can simply say “I’m not interested, but thank you for asking.” Making up lies or excuses about why you’re saying no can backfire and look obvious, and make you seem dishonest and hurtful.
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   Step 2: Cushion the “no” between compliments about that person.

   This reveals that you care about the person, even though you’re saying no.
   
   For example, tell the person you enjoy spending time with them, followed by “no” or “I’m not interested,” then end the statement saying you value your friendship and don’t want to risk it through dating. , This shows you have integrity, and that you’re courteous and mindful enough about the other person’s feelings to say no in person.
   
   For example, if a person asks you out via text message, email, or through a friend, go out of your way to deliver the news in person or via the telephone. , This helps soften the blow when you don’t feel comfortable with a direct “no,” and can make the other person feel as though they met you at the wrong time in your life.
   
   For example, say “I’m sorry, but I’m already dating someone right now.” , For example, if an interested coworker asks you out for drinks after work, say you think it would be exciting and fun if everyone from your team at work also came along., This shows that you like the person enough to set them up with a friend who may be a more compatible match.
   
   For example, say no, then admit that you know someone who might be a better match. , This response is most effective when you’re unsure about whether to date someone, or want to get to know someone better before going on an official date.Don’t say you want to be friends with someone before dating them if you don’t really mean it.
   
   This can backfire, and result in the person asking you out again in the future after you’ve become friends, which can make the situation awkward. , Even kind words can sound mean and hurtful when you deliver them in a short, abrupt tone.
   
   When saying no, be calm and gentle to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings or making them feel too uncomfortable. , This holds you accountable for your decision, and prevents you from sounding rude, condescending, or insensitive.
   
   For example, say “I don’t feel a connection with you,” instead of saying “You just aren’t compatible for me.”
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   Step 3: Say “no” in person or over the telephone whenever possible.

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   Step 4: Apologize for not being available.

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   Step 5: Announce that you’d like other people to join you on your “date.” This is an indirect way to say no

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   Step 6: since it shows that you enjoy spending time with that person

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   Step 7: but are not interested in spending time one-on-one.

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   Step 8: Consider whether you have any single friends that would be an ideal match for that person.

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   Step 9: Explain that you want to become good friends with a person before dating them.

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    Step 10: Be mindful of tone and delivery regardless of how you say no to a date.

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    Step 11: Use “I” statements when explaining your reason for saying no.

Detailed Guide

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