How to Speed Up a Relationship
Know what you want., Be honest with your date., Break it off if necessary., Avoid pressuring your date., Realize that there’s no “set” speed., Talk to someone you trust about your relationship., Don’t play games.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know what you want.
Take the time to understand what you’re looking for in a date.
Are you ready for a long-term commitment? Or are you more interested in having a sexual partner without other strings attached? You won’t be able to communicate this message to your date unless you first know it yourself.Don’t get distracted by ideas about what a relationship should look like, or what amount of time it should take a relationship to develop.
Remember that every relationship is different.
This relationship might be best at a different speed than relationships you’ve had in the past. -
Step 2: Be honest with your date.
If you’re clear about what you’re ready for in a relationship, it’s best to share this with him up front.
Tell him if you’re ready for a long-term, committed relationship.On the other hand, it’s not necessary to scare him away.
If you’ve only been on 3 dates and you’re feeling certain that this person is “the one” for you, you don’t have to share this information directly because it might cause him to feel pressured to respond in the same way.
If sexual intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean commitment to you, tell him this.
He might be reluctant to speed things up if he thinks you’re pressuring him into commitment. , If it’s clear that the two of you want different things in a relationship, it’s a good idea to separate before you’re more attached.
Sometimes speeding up a relationship means not putting off a break-up that could free you up for a better match.Being honest with yourself and each other will help you know what’s best for you.
Sometimes there’s great chemistry between you and your date, but the timing isn’t right. , Don’t manipulate or push your date to proceed at a speed that’s too fast.
Share your needs with your partner, but you shouldn’t feel like he’s judging you.Don’t take it personally if your date isn’t ready to speed things up.
Sometimes you’re just meeting each other at the wrong time.
If you don’t feel like you can talk honestly with your date, this is a bad sign for the success of your relationship. , If you’re feeling like you want this relationship to speed up, think about why this might be.
Are you worried that he’ll leave if the relationship continues at the same rate? Do you think that increased commitment will bring security? Sometimes people feel the urge to speed things up when they’re uncomfortable about certain aspects of the relationship.
Going too quickly in relationships can mean ignoring warning signs.
If this is the case, being honest about this is important.
Notice if you’ve had similar experiences in other relationships.
If so, think about what this might teach you about yourself. , If you’d like to speed up your relationship, it will help to talk with someone you trust, whether this is a friend, a parent, or a therapist.
Talking about your frustration with someone other than your date will help you get perspective on the situation.Someone who’s known you a while will likely be able to offer some insight about the way you tend to be in relationship with others.
Spending time with people who care about you will help you feel more content in your life, and take away some pressure from the relationship. , Pretending to be unavailable, not answering his texts, or acting like you’re not interested are strategies that might work in the movies, but they’re unlikely to work in real life.
Delaying having sex with him because you’re angling for commitment is unhealthy, unless you also have strong convictions about premarital sex.Remember that you’re not trying to trick him into commitment.
You’re hoping to encourage him in developing a strong, intimate relationship.
If things are going well, maybe they’re going at the right speed also.
Allow your relationship to unfold at its own speed. -
Step 3: Break it off if necessary.
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Step 4: Avoid pressuring your date.
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Step 5: Realize that there’s no “set” speed.
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Step 6: Talk to someone you trust about your relationship.
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Step 7: Don’t play games.
Detailed Guide
Take the time to understand what you’re looking for in a date.
Are you ready for a long-term commitment? Or are you more interested in having a sexual partner without other strings attached? You won’t be able to communicate this message to your date unless you first know it yourself.Don’t get distracted by ideas about what a relationship should look like, or what amount of time it should take a relationship to develop.
Remember that every relationship is different.
This relationship might be best at a different speed than relationships you’ve had in the past.
If you’re clear about what you’re ready for in a relationship, it’s best to share this with him up front.
Tell him if you’re ready for a long-term, committed relationship.On the other hand, it’s not necessary to scare him away.
If you’ve only been on 3 dates and you’re feeling certain that this person is “the one” for you, you don’t have to share this information directly because it might cause him to feel pressured to respond in the same way.
If sexual intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean commitment to you, tell him this.
He might be reluctant to speed things up if he thinks you’re pressuring him into commitment. , If it’s clear that the two of you want different things in a relationship, it’s a good idea to separate before you’re more attached.
Sometimes speeding up a relationship means not putting off a break-up that could free you up for a better match.Being honest with yourself and each other will help you know what’s best for you.
Sometimes there’s great chemistry between you and your date, but the timing isn’t right. , Don’t manipulate or push your date to proceed at a speed that’s too fast.
Share your needs with your partner, but you shouldn’t feel like he’s judging you.Don’t take it personally if your date isn’t ready to speed things up.
Sometimes you’re just meeting each other at the wrong time.
If you don’t feel like you can talk honestly with your date, this is a bad sign for the success of your relationship. , If you’re feeling like you want this relationship to speed up, think about why this might be.
Are you worried that he’ll leave if the relationship continues at the same rate? Do you think that increased commitment will bring security? Sometimes people feel the urge to speed things up when they’re uncomfortable about certain aspects of the relationship.
Going too quickly in relationships can mean ignoring warning signs.
If this is the case, being honest about this is important.
Notice if you’ve had similar experiences in other relationships.
If so, think about what this might teach you about yourself. , If you’d like to speed up your relationship, it will help to talk with someone you trust, whether this is a friend, a parent, or a therapist.
Talking about your frustration with someone other than your date will help you get perspective on the situation.Someone who’s known you a while will likely be able to offer some insight about the way you tend to be in relationship with others.
Spending time with people who care about you will help you feel more content in your life, and take away some pressure from the relationship. , Pretending to be unavailable, not answering his texts, or acting like you’re not interested are strategies that might work in the movies, but they’re unlikely to work in real life.
Delaying having sex with him because you’re angling for commitment is unhealthy, unless you also have strong convictions about premarital sex.Remember that you’re not trying to trick him into commitment.
You’re hoping to encourage him in developing a strong, intimate relationship.
If things are going well, maybe they’re going at the right speed also.
Allow your relationship to unfold at its own speed.
About the Author
Carolyn Reyes
Brings years of experience writing about pet care and related subjects.
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