How to Start a Friends With Benefits Relationship
Pick someone who is available., Pick someone who won't get too attached., Pick someone you already like., Pick someone outside your social or work circle., Pick someone with experience.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Pick someone who is available.
This means "available" in all senses of the word
-- single being the most obvious definition.
The person should not only be single, but he or she shouldn't be recovering from the end of a devastating break-up, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or so busy studying that he or she practically lives in the library.
This person should be feeling fun, emotionally stable, and up for anything
-- especially hooking up with you. -
Step 2: Pick someone who won't get too attached.
Friends with benefits relationships often end because one person starts falling for the other.
So, unless you want to date the person, or you don't care if the person gets really hurt, you should avoid someone who will get attached.
How do you know who will get too attached and who won't? Well, you can't figure this out with 100% certainty, but there are a few clues that the person may get too attached:
If you've heard this person described as "clingy," whether it's by friends or past significant others, then you may have a problem.
If the person doesn't have a lot of friends, interests, or a lot going on, then he or she may have nothing better to do than to spend a lot of time with you.
If you know that this person has really liked you in the past, then it's better to avoid it.
If you know the person has a harmless crush on you, then that's perfect. , Key word
-- like, not really really like.
This should be someone who you think is cute and fun to be around
-- you should like this person just as much as you like spending a day at the beach with your friends.
If you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, then you should feel a baseline of affection
-- just nothing too serious.
Pick someone you already like, but not someone you would normally date.
Go out of your comfort zone and remember that you're looking for a hot hook up partner, not your future husband or wife.
If you pick someone you might date, then it's more likely that you'd end up falling for that person.
You should have some natural chemistry with this person.
That doesn't mean you want to stay up for hours talking about the meaning of life with him
-- you just want to rip his shirt off. , Don't have a friends with benefits relationship with one of the members of the group of friends you've known since you were five, or it'll lead to some serious awkwardness when the relationship ends.
Typical friends with benefits relationships only last a few months, so don't pick someone you know you'll have to see all the time. , You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up
-- even better if you've heard he or she is great in bed.
Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver.
It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so he or she is experienced in that department.
If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet. -
Step 3: Pick someone you already like.
-
Step 4: Pick someone outside your social or work circle.
-
Step 5: Pick someone with experience.
Detailed Guide
This means "available" in all senses of the word
-- single being the most obvious definition.
The person should not only be single, but he or she shouldn't be recovering from the end of a devastating break-up, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or so busy studying that he or she practically lives in the library.
This person should be feeling fun, emotionally stable, and up for anything
-- especially hooking up with you.
Friends with benefits relationships often end because one person starts falling for the other.
So, unless you want to date the person, or you don't care if the person gets really hurt, you should avoid someone who will get attached.
How do you know who will get too attached and who won't? Well, you can't figure this out with 100% certainty, but there are a few clues that the person may get too attached:
If you've heard this person described as "clingy," whether it's by friends or past significant others, then you may have a problem.
If the person doesn't have a lot of friends, interests, or a lot going on, then he or she may have nothing better to do than to spend a lot of time with you.
If you know that this person has really liked you in the past, then it's better to avoid it.
If you know the person has a harmless crush on you, then that's perfect. , Key word
-- like, not really really like.
This should be someone who you think is cute and fun to be around
-- you should like this person just as much as you like spending a day at the beach with your friends.
If you're going to spend a lot of time with that person, then you should feel a baseline of affection
-- just nothing too serious.
Pick someone you already like, but not someone you would normally date.
Go out of your comfort zone and remember that you're looking for a hot hook up partner, not your future husband or wife.
If you pick someone you might date, then it's more likely that you'd end up falling for that person.
You should have some natural chemistry with this person.
That doesn't mean you want to stay up for hours talking about the meaning of life with him
-- you just want to rip his shirt off. , Don't have a friends with benefits relationship with one of the members of the group of friends you've known since you were five, or it'll lead to some serious awkwardness when the relationship ends.
Typical friends with benefits relationships only last a few months, so don't pick someone you know you'll have to see all the time. , You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up
-- even better if you've heard he or she is great in bed.
Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver.
It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so he or she is experienced in that department.
If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet.
About the Author
Daniel Knight
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow crafts tutorials.
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