How to Start Dating

Think about what you want in a potential partner., Take care of yourself before looking for other people., Develop a strong network of friends., Learn to flirt., Sign up for an online dating profile., Give your number out first., Ask someone on a...

8 Steps 5 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Think about what you want in a potential partner.

    Everyone has different preferences for romantic partners.

    You should think beyond physical attributes about what personalities you enjoy, what you need in a partner, and what you want out of dating.

    That said, there is no need to be super picky
    -- just give yourself some guidelines.For example, you might ask:
    What kind attributes do I look for in my friends (funny, serious, creative, etc.)? Do I want a serious relationship or to casually meet new men/women? What are the "deal-breakers" that I absolutely do not want in a relationship?
  2. Step 2: Take care of yourself before looking for other people.

    Many people want to find a partner who will "solve all of their problems," but unfortunately such a knight-in-shining-armor rarely exists in real life.

    By having self-confidence, taking care of your body with diet and exercise, and looking presentable you signal to people that you are ready to meet a partner and are capable of having a relationship.Remember that you are not trying to trick someone into liking you.

    If the feeling is not mutual than that person is not worth your time.Keep yourself clean and hygienic.

    This is one of the most obvious reasons someone would turn down a date with you. , Having a solid social life not only helps you find people to date, it gives you a chance to go out into social settings without being alone.

    A strong group of friends will support you when dates go wrong and help you navigate the world of relationships as you start dating.

    Building a social network exposes you to many new people and personalities that can help you find dates.

    Ask your friends if they know anyone who might be interested in a casual date.

    Friends can often make the best romantic partners, when done correctly. , Flirting is often viewed as a secret art form, but in reality it is pretty easy.

    Study after study has shown that eye contact and smiling is the single most effective flirting technique around, so be happy and respectful and connections will follow.Flirting is great way to try "pre-dating." Smile, make eye-contact, and have casual conversations to see if you want to see someone more often or start dating.

    If you think they might be a good match, slowly ramp up your flirting to show your interest by:
    Breaking the touch barrier
    -- touch a shoulder or knee lean in for a hug, or brush something off their clothes.

    Teasing-- light teasing, like making a joke about their drink choice or taste in a movie, is one of the oldest techniques in the book.

    If they tease back then you've made a connection.

    Asking questions.

    Genuine interest in someone is not only flattering, it lets you find out more about them and if they are a good match for you. , These sites help you find compatible dates in your area easily and safely, and are a great way to start dating.

    When things go well, you've made a great new connection.

    But if you two aren't a match then you will likely never see each other again and you can move on to other dates without feeling awkward.

    If you are chatting with someone online for more than 1-2 days it is time to pony up and ask them on a date., Make the first move and hand someone your number instead of asking for theirs.

    This shows that you have confidence and puts the ball in their court.

    If they are interested they will either call you or give your their number in return.

    Don't always expect someone to give you their number in return.

    If they are interested they will get in touch, and this is a great sign that there is chemistry between you two., This is the simplest, but hardest, step to start dating.

    If you never ask someone out then you will never start dating.

    Remember, however, that dating is supposed to be casual.

    So keep it casual! You do not need to profess your love and ask someone to a romantic dinner.

    Simply ask them if they want to come grab a drink or some food with you and see what happens.

    Just because it is "normal" for a guy to ask out a girl doesn't mean it is the only way to do things.

    No matter who you are, make the first move and ask.

    Try lines like, "I've loved talking to you, would you want to grab coffee sometime?" Be receptive when people ask you out.

    It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out.

    Unless you know fully well that you would never date someone, a casual date won't hurt you. , If someone is interested, schedule a time to meet and exchange numbers.

    Don't wait for them to suggest something, or make your move without having specifics ready.

    If they say yes, suggest a time or location and figure out when the best time is to meet.

    Give them one or two options so that they don't feel like you're forcing anything.

    For example: "That's great, are you free Saturday or Sunday morning around 11?"
  3. Step 3: Develop a strong network of friends.

  4. Step 4: Learn to flirt.

  5. Step 5: Sign up for an online dating profile.

  6. Step 6: Give your number out first.

  7. Step 7: Ask someone on a date.

  8. Step 8: Set a specific time and place for the date.

Detailed Guide

Everyone has different preferences for romantic partners.

You should think beyond physical attributes about what personalities you enjoy, what you need in a partner, and what you want out of dating.

That said, there is no need to be super picky
-- just give yourself some guidelines.For example, you might ask:
What kind attributes do I look for in my friends (funny, serious, creative, etc.)? Do I want a serious relationship or to casually meet new men/women? What are the "deal-breakers" that I absolutely do not want in a relationship?

Many people want to find a partner who will "solve all of their problems," but unfortunately such a knight-in-shining-armor rarely exists in real life.

By having self-confidence, taking care of your body with diet and exercise, and looking presentable you signal to people that you are ready to meet a partner and are capable of having a relationship.Remember that you are not trying to trick someone into liking you.

If the feeling is not mutual than that person is not worth your time.Keep yourself clean and hygienic.

This is one of the most obvious reasons someone would turn down a date with you. , Having a solid social life not only helps you find people to date, it gives you a chance to go out into social settings without being alone.

A strong group of friends will support you when dates go wrong and help you navigate the world of relationships as you start dating.

Building a social network exposes you to many new people and personalities that can help you find dates.

Ask your friends if they know anyone who might be interested in a casual date.

Friends can often make the best romantic partners, when done correctly. , Flirting is often viewed as a secret art form, but in reality it is pretty easy.

Study after study has shown that eye contact and smiling is the single most effective flirting technique around, so be happy and respectful and connections will follow.Flirting is great way to try "pre-dating." Smile, make eye-contact, and have casual conversations to see if you want to see someone more often or start dating.

If you think they might be a good match, slowly ramp up your flirting to show your interest by:
Breaking the touch barrier
-- touch a shoulder or knee lean in for a hug, or brush something off their clothes.

Teasing-- light teasing, like making a joke about their drink choice or taste in a movie, is one of the oldest techniques in the book.

If they tease back then you've made a connection.

Asking questions.

Genuine interest in someone is not only flattering, it lets you find out more about them and if they are a good match for you. , These sites help you find compatible dates in your area easily and safely, and are a great way to start dating.

When things go well, you've made a great new connection.

But if you two aren't a match then you will likely never see each other again and you can move on to other dates without feeling awkward.

If you are chatting with someone online for more than 1-2 days it is time to pony up and ask them on a date., Make the first move and hand someone your number instead of asking for theirs.

This shows that you have confidence and puts the ball in their court.

If they are interested they will either call you or give your their number in return.

Don't always expect someone to give you their number in return.

If they are interested they will get in touch, and this is a great sign that there is chemistry between you two., This is the simplest, but hardest, step to start dating.

If you never ask someone out then you will never start dating.

Remember, however, that dating is supposed to be casual.

So keep it casual! You do not need to profess your love and ask someone to a romantic dinner.

Simply ask them if they want to come grab a drink or some food with you and see what happens.

Just because it is "normal" for a guy to ask out a girl doesn't mean it is the only way to do things.

No matter who you are, make the first move and ask.

Try lines like, "I've loved talking to you, would you want to grab coffee sometime?" Be receptive when people ask you out.

It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out.

Unless you know fully well that you would never date someone, a casual date won't hurt you. , If someone is interested, schedule a time to meet and exchange numbers.

Don't wait for them to suggest something, or make your move without having specifics ready.

If they say yes, suggest a time or location and figure out when the best time is to meet.

Give them one or two options so that they don't feel like you're forcing anything.

For example: "That's great, are you free Saturday or Sunday morning around 11?"

About the Author

K

Kathryn Jordan

Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in hobbies and beyond.

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