How to Stay Calm in an Argument

Be mindful of your body language., Make a joke., Keep your voice down., Use “I” statements., Keep perspective.

5 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Be mindful of your body language.

    Your opponent may get the wrong impression of you if you exhibit aggressive body language.

    You could come off as mad or even snobby if you aren’t mindful of what you are doing.

    Crossing your arms, pursing your lips, and slouching could give you an angry appearance, even if you aren’t.

    Instead, stand straight up, place your arms in a neutral position, and keep your face relaxed.
  2. Step 2: Make a joke.

    Laughing during an argument sounds counterintuitive, but it can actually help you to calm down and stay in control.

    Plus, cracking up releases hormones in the body that prevent you from feeling extra stressed.

    For instance, you might say, "Whoa, the tension in here is so thick, I could spread it on my toast." Consider who you are arguing with before you pull out the comedy routine.

    Your goal isn’t to make anyone more upset.

    Rather, it’s to calm down a tense situation., You feel your stress level rise and you want to be heard, but resist the urge to get loud.

    Yelling causes you and the person you disagree with to both become upset, potentially unnecessarily.

    Instead, think about how you would want the opposition to speak to you.

    Then do your best to communicate in that manner, even if the person is yelling at you., It’s natural to feel attacked when someone seems to point the blame at you.

    Your first instinct is to become defensive and instantly stressed.

    Stop this from happening, and keep yourself calm by choosing words that lessen the feelings of being accused.

    For example, say “I would like you to stop disrespecting me” instead of “You always disrespect me.” Using “I” statements allows you to get something off of your chest without directly putting the blame on someone., Ask yourself if the disagreement is really worth getting upset about.

    Chances are, it is not.

    Keep this in mind when you start to feel your temper rising.

    It can help you prevent the situation from getting out of hand.For example, if this argument isn't really going to change how you feel about the other person, don't let it.

    Remember that you care about them, and this is just a misunderstanding.
  3. Step 3: Keep your voice down.

  4. Step 4: Use “I” statements.

  5. Step 5: Keep perspective.

Detailed Guide

Your opponent may get the wrong impression of you if you exhibit aggressive body language.

You could come off as mad or even snobby if you aren’t mindful of what you are doing.

Crossing your arms, pursing your lips, and slouching could give you an angry appearance, even if you aren’t.

Instead, stand straight up, place your arms in a neutral position, and keep your face relaxed.

Laughing during an argument sounds counterintuitive, but it can actually help you to calm down and stay in control.

Plus, cracking up releases hormones in the body that prevent you from feeling extra stressed.

For instance, you might say, "Whoa, the tension in here is so thick, I could spread it on my toast." Consider who you are arguing with before you pull out the comedy routine.

Your goal isn’t to make anyone more upset.

Rather, it’s to calm down a tense situation., You feel your stress level rise and you want to be heard, but resist the urge to get loud.

Yelling causes you and the person you disagree with to both become upset, potentially unnecessarily.

Instead, think about how you would want the opposition to speak to you.

Then do your best to communicate in that manner, even if the person is yelling at you., It’s natural to feel attacked when someone seems to point the blame at you.

Your first instinct is to become defensive and instantly stressed.

Stop this from happening, and keep yourself calm by choosing words that lessen the feelings of being accused.

For example, say “I would like you to stop disrespecting me” instead of “You always disrespect me.” Using “I” statements allows you to get something off of your chest without directly putting the blame on someone., Ask yourself if the disagreement is really worth getting upset about.

Chances are, it is not.

Keep this in mind when you start to feel your temper rising.

It can help you prevent the situation from getting out of hand.For example, if this argument isn't really going to change how you feel about the other person, don't let it.

Remember that you care about them, and this is just a misunderstanding.

About the Author

H

Heather Martinez

A passionate writer with expertise in crafts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

92 articles
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