How to Stop Your Parents from Controlling Your Wedding Plans

Articulate your vision for your wedding., Find room for compromise., Pick your battles., Remind them gently that this is your wedding., Ask for their advice., Give them a project., Fund it yourself.

7 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Articulate your vision for your wedding.

    Perhaps your parents are pushing back on your wedding plans because they don’t fully understand them.

    Spend some time talking to them about your ideal day and you might find that they will get on board and support you in achieving it.You might say “Dad, I know you always thought I would get married in our church.

    But since I was a little girl, I’ve loved the beach.

    I’ve always thought of myself getting married on the beach.

    And that’s where Chris proposed to me so it’s even more special.

    I hope you’ll support me.”
  2. Step 2: Find room for compromise.

    Find ways to compromise with your parents in small ways.

    You might not allow them to pick out your flowers, but perhaps you will let them be the tiebreaker between you and your fiancee if you can’t decide.

    Or perhaps your parents are against you having an open bar wedding; opt instead to have guests purchase their own alcoholic beverages., Know when to battle with your parents and when to refrain.

    If your family is set on peach as opposed to coral place settings, let her have it.

    However, for larger things like food or venue, advocate persuasively for your desires., If they continue to push back against you, despite all you have done, continuously remind them kindly that it is your wedding day.

    Tell them that you will forever remember this day as the day that you joined yourself to your spouse and it is important for you to do that in the way that you see as best so that you have no regrets.

    You can say “Mom, we have talked about this a few times, and I’m hoping you can be a little more understanding soon.

    I love and respect you very much but please don’t buy those flowers for my wedding.

    Can you help me choose some different ones?” , Before making any final decisions, consult with them for advice.

    They likely have more experience with weddings than you do and could be of great assistance.

    Also, if they are paying, they have the final say anyway., Your parents might be interjecting into your business because they feel that they don’t have a part in the planning process.

    Find some aspect of planning that you have not yet completed or that you don’t have much stake in and allow them to handle that.For instance, perhaps you need help finding a florist or photographer.

    Ask your parents to find a few and then select one from their options. , If your parents are paying for the wedding, they should get a say.

    If you want to have more control over how that day will go, then you will need to work to pay for it yourself.Get a second job, sell some of your old stuff, find deals online, or see if your fiancee’s parents can chip in more.
  3. Step 3: Pick your battles.

  4. Step 4: Remind them gently that this is your wedding.

  5. Step 5: Ask for their advice.

  6. Step 6: Give them a project.

  7. Step 7: Fund it yourself.

Detailed Guide

Perhaps your parents are pushing back on your wedding plans because they don’t fully understand them.

Spend some time talking to them about your ideal day and you might find that they will get on board and support you in achieving it.You might say “Dad, I know you always thought I would get married in our church.

But since I was a little girl, I’ve loved the beach.

I’ve always thought of myself getting married on the beach.

And that’s where Chris proposed to me so it’s even more special.

I hope you’ll support me.”

Find ways to compromise with your parents in small ways.

You might not allow them to pick out your flowers, but perhaps you will let them be the tiebreaker between you and your fiancee if you can’t decide.

Or perhaps your parents are against you having an open bar wedding; opt instead to have guests purchase their own alcoholic beverages., Know when to battle with your parents and when to refrain.

If your family is set on peach as opposed to coral place settings, let her have it.

However, for larger things like food or venue, advocate persuasively for your desires., If they continue to push back against you, despite all you have done, continuously remind them kindly that it is your wedding day.

Tell them that you will forever remember this day as the day that you joined yourself to your spouse and it is important for you to do that in the way that you see as best so that you have no regrets.

You can say “Mom, we have talked about this a few times, and I’m hoping you can be a little more understanding soon.

I love and respect you very much but please don’t buy those flowers for my wedding.

Can you help me choose some different ones?” , Before making any final decisions, consult with them for advice.

They likely have more experience with weddings than you do and could be of great assistance.

Also, if they are paying, they have the final say anyway., Your parents might be interjecting into your business because they feel that they don’t have a part in the planning process.

Find some aspect of planning that you have not yet completed or that you don’t have much stake in and allow them to handle that.For instance, perhaps you need help finding a florist or photographer.

Ask your parents to find a few and then select one from their options. , If your parents are paying for the wedding, they should get a say.

If you want to have more control over how that day will go, then you will need to work to pay for it yourself.Get a second job, sell some of your old stuff, find deals online, or see if your fiancee’s parents can chip in more.

About the Author

C

Christopher Ortiz

Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.

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