How to Succeed at Online Dating
Self-Evaluate., Advertise., Play the field., Check back., Thou shall not stalk., Keep it positive., Do your homework., Interview., Caution., Detect Liars/Fraudsters., Play it safe., Have a safety net., Fraud is everywhere., Keep an open mind.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Self-Evaluate.
Be honest with yourself about the kind of person you're looking for.
Don't settle; however, understand that the saying you can't judge a book by its cover can be very true.
If you can't find anyone interesting in the current profiles, understand that new ones appear daily on popular sites. -
Step 2: Advertise.
Put up several recent photographs of yourself
-- in both indoor and outdoor light, also a variety of full body shots as well as close ups of your face.
Do not put the classic "Myspace angle" photos or any glamour pictures.
If posting a photo online makes you uneasy consider using a private photo sharing service such as www.protectedpix.com.
Using the 'teaser image' feature you can modify your photo to give an idea of what you look like without someone being able to actually identify you.
You can show your original photo to someone after you screen them and decide that you are interested. , Don't put all of your focus on online dating.
Don't seem so desperate that the internet is your last and only hope to find that someone special.
For all you know the right person is out at the library, coffee shop, or buying groceries.
You have to be positive and think that way as well.
People are not attracted to desperation. , Check a few times a week to see if anyone new has shown up that may interest you. , Do not hound the same person over and over, send them a message or two and after that leave them alone if they don't return your contact
-- they're probably not interested. , When writing things about yourself tell people what kind of person you are looking for.
Be humorous and upbeat, but be clear about what your interests are and the type of individual you are interested in.
If you won't date a smoker, a drinker, someone with children, make that clear (but not rudely) in your profile.
Keep in mind that some smokers, drinkers, single parents may still (for whatever reasons) contact you. , Some of the online dating websites are becoming more sophisticated in the way they match up people, but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes.
Always check someone out for yourself (Google, Dogpile, etc.) before you accept a date from them.
Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are.
Look their profile over and email/call them a few times before making the decision to meet. , Always have a phone conversation with a match before any initial meeting.
Be highly cautious of anyone who does not want to speak on the phone before meeting, or comes up with repeated excuses as to why they cannot meet you.
Have no further contact if a match does this. , Be cautious with the information that you provide a potential match.
Do not give specific details about where you live or where you are employed. , Take note of any discrepancies in the details the person provides you
-- it's usually an indication that the person is misleading you. , Always have the first few meetings and dates in a public place and always let a relative or friend know where you are going and who you are meeting.
Never invite someone to your home during an initial meeting.
Do not drink heavily and do not allow anyone but the wait staff and yourself near your drink. , Have a friend or relative call or text you during your initial meeting to see if you're fine. , Be alert to red flags, such as a person repeatedly canceling meetings, asking for money, or pressuring you for personal information or sex (including nude photos) early in your acquaintanceship.
Cut off contact completely if any of these occur. , Be optimistic and upbeat, but be realistic that even the most accurate profile and photograph does not always correlate to real life chemistry between two people.
Sometimes two individuals simply won't click, but sometimes they will.
Good luck! -
Step 3: Play the field.
-
Step 4: Check back.
-
Step 5: Thou shall not stalk.
-
Step 6: Keep it positive.
-
Step 7: Do your homework.
-
Step 8: Interview.
-
Step 9: Caution.
-
Step 10: Detect Liars/Fraudsters.
-
Step 11: Play it safe.
-
Step 12: Have a safety net.
-
Step 13: Fraud is everywhere.
-
Step 14: Keep an open mind.
Detailed Guide
Be honest with yourself about the kind of person you're looking for.
Don't settle; however, understand that the saying you can't judge a book by its cover can be very true.
If you can't find anyone interesting in the current profiles, understand that new ones appear daily on popular sites.
Put up several recent photographs of yourself
-- in both indoor and outdoor light, also a variety of full body shots as well as close ups of your face.
Do not put the classic "Myspace angle" photos or any glamour pictures.
If posting a photo online makes you uneasy consider using a private photo sharing service such as www.protectedpix.com.
Using the 'teaser image' feature you can modify your photo to give an idea of what you look like without someone being able to actually identify you.
You can show your original photo to someone after you screen them and decide that you are interested. , Don't put all of your focus on online dating.
Don't seem so desperate that the internet is your last and only hope to find that someone special.
For all you know the right person is out at the library, coffee shop, or buying groceries.
You have to be positive and think that way as well.
People are not attracted to desperation. , Check a few times a week to see if anyone new has shown up that may interest you. , Do not hound the same person over and over, send them a message or two and after that leave them alone if they don't return your contact
-- they're probably not interested. , When writing things about yourself tell people what kind of person you are looking for.
Be humorous and upbeat, but be clear about what your interests are and the type of individual you are interested in.
If you won't date a smoker, a drinker, someone with children, make that clear (but not rudely) in your profile.
Keep in mind that some smokers, drinkers, single parents may still (for whatever reasons) contact you. , Some of the online dating websites are becoming more sophisticated in the way they match up people, but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes.
Always check someone out for yourself (Google, Dogpile, etc.) before you accept a date from them.
Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are.
Look their profile over and email/call them a few times before making the decision to meet. , Always have a phone conversation with a match before any initial meeting.
Be highly cautious of anyone who does not want to speak on the phone before meeting, or comes up with repeated excuses as to why they cannot meet you.
Have no further contact if a match does this. , Be cautious with the information that you provide a potential match.
Do not give specific details about where you live or where you are employed. , Take note of any discrepancies in the details the person provides you
-- it's usually an indication that the person is misleading you. , Always have the first few meetings and dates in a public place and always let a relative or friend know where you are going and who you are meeting.
Never invite someone to your home during an initial meeting.
Do not drink heavily and do not allow anyone but the wait staff and yourself near your drink. , Have a friend or relative call or text you during your initial meeting to see if you're fine. , Be alert to red flags, such as a person repeatedly canceling meetings, asking for money, or pressuring you for personal information or sex (including nude photos) early in your acquaintanceship.
Cut off contact completely if any of these occur. , Be optimistic and upbeat, but be realistic that even the most accurate profile and photograph does not always correlate to real life chemistry between two people.
Sometimes two individuals simply won't click, but sometimes they will.
Good luck!
About the Author
Cheryl Mitchell
Committed to making hobbies accessible and understandable for everyone.
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