How to Teach Your Child Good Interpersonal Communication Skills
Set an example., Teach your child about the parts of a conversation., Explain to your child what is and is not appropriate talk., Help your child to understand appropriate voice levels., Talk about feelings., Encourage questions., Play communication...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Set an example.
Your child doesn’t inherently know how to communicate.
Much of what they will learn, they will learn by watching you and others interact.
Start teaching your child good interpersonal communication skills early on by actively demonstrating skills you hope to impart on your child.
Such skills may include active listening, clear and calm speaking, and not interrupting.Reinforce these ideas with your child after you have finished speaking with another person.
Let them know, “I like listening to this person because I get to learn new things when they talk to me.” Likewise, if you catch yourself demonstrating less-than-ideal behavior in front of your child, don’t be afraid to call yourself out.
Let your child know, “It was rude of me to interrupt this person while they were talking.
The polite thing to do is always to let someone finish speaking before you start to talk.” -
Step 2: Teach your child about the parts of a conversation.
Every conversation has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
It is important to teach your child about these different parts of a conversation to help them build good communication skills.
Some things that you might explain to your child to help them with their communication skills include how to:
Start a conversation.
Teach your child about the best way to greet someone.
For example, you might teach your child to say something like, “Hi, Christy! How are you today?” Continue a conversation.
Teach your child how to ask open ended questions to keep the other person talking, and about how to be a good listener.
For example, you might teach your child to ask questions like, “How is your family?” or “How do you like your new teacher?” or “How was your vacation?” End a conversation.
Teach your child how to tell when a conversation is reaching its natural end.
For example, the person might start looking around or go silent.
When this happens, teach your child to say something like, “It was fun talking with you! Have a great day!” and then leave. , It is important to explain to children that some topics of conversation are off limits.
Otherwise, your child may unintentionally offend someone while talking with them.
Make sure that you explain to your child what is and is not appropriate for conversations.
Some topics to teach your child that they should avoid include finances, politics, religion, death, sex, a person’s age or appearance, and gossip.Your child might not know enough about some of these topics yet to worry about them, so consider what suggestions would be the most helpful for your child.
For example, you might say to your child, "I know you're really interested in money right now, but we don't want to ask Mr.
Bob about how much money he makes because it might embarrass him.
You can ask him about what does at his job."
Children may get excited and start speaking loudly indoors, or some children might not speak loudly enough for others to hear them.
Teach your child about appropriate voice levels to help them know when they are being too loud, or not loud enough.
For example, you might say to your child, “When you are outside, you can yell and talk loudly.
But when you are inside, it is important to speak in a lower voice.” Or, “I know that you might think you are speaking loud enough for other people to hear you, but you are being so quiet that some people might not be able to hear.
Can you try to speak a little louder so we can hear what you have to say?” , Talk about your own feelings, and encourage your child to talk about theirs.
This will help them not only communicate clearly, but teach them that expressing and listening to other’s feelings are important skills.Use sentences that start with "I," instead of "You" to effectively convey your feelings to your child.
For example, say "I am upset that you didn't finish your homework" instead of "You make me upset when you don't finish your homework." When your child says something like, “I don’t like that!” ask them why they feel that way.
Have an open dialogue about their feelings.
If your child is truly uncomfortable sharing, do not force them to talk.
Do, however, try to ask them why they feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings. , Ask questions of your child, and encourage them to ask questions of others.
This helps your child understand that speaking with others is about engaging them.
It encourages listening as well interacting with new people.
When your child is speaking with someone, encourage them to ask questions by saying things like, “Why don’t you ask your friend what they are going to do after school today?” When your child is talking with you, ask questions like, “How was school today?” or “Do you like what you’re learning in your homework?” , Use your regular playtime to show your child how to communicate clearly and effectively.
Create storytelling games with your kid where you develop a narrative and dialogue together, and encourage them to practice their new communication skills while you play.Use dolls, action figures, sock puppets, stuffed animals, or whatever else your child likes to play with to help them with their communication.
Create characters and have conversations.
Take turns talking and listening to your child in 10 or 15 second increments.
For example, listen to your child while they talk for 15 seconds, then make your child listen to you while you talk for 15 seconds. , If you have a shy or quiet child, help them learn how to be assertive.
Ask them what they want or need, and let them know that it is ok to express their needs because if they don’t say something, no one will know what they want.Find certain situations where you can let your child call the shots.
Allow them to pick what they want for dinner one night, or give them control of the remote for an hour on the weekend.
Encourage your child to be comfortable with themselves.
Avoid statements that encourage peer worship by comparing your child to one of their friends or classmates.
Instead, focus on their good traits and let them know it’s ok to be who they are.
If your child comes to you with a specific situation such as a bully, help coach them through their specific scenario to figure out the best way for them to stand up for themselves. -
Step 3: Explain to your child what is and is not appropriate talk.
-
Step 4: Help your child to understand appropriate voice levels.
-
Step 5: Talk about feelings.
-
Step 6: Encourage questions.
-
Step 7: Play communication games.
-
Step 8: Encourage assertiveness.
Detailed Guide
Your child doesn’t inherently know how to communicate.
Much of what they will learn, they will learn by watching you and others interact.
Start teaching your child good interpersonal communication skills early on by actively demonstrating skills you hope to impart on your child.
Such skills may include active listening, clear and calm speaking, and not interrupting.Reinforce these ideas with your child after you have finished speaking with another person.
Let them know, “I like listening to this person because I get to learn new things when they talk to me.” Likewise, if you catch yourself demonstrating less-than-ideal behavior in front of your child, don’t be afraid to call yourself out.
Let your child know, “It was rude of me to interrupt this person while they were talking.
The polite thing to do is always to let someone finish speaking before you start to talk.”
Every conversation has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
It is important to teach your child about these different parts of a conversation to help them build good communication skills.
Some things that you might explain to your child to help them with their communication skills include how to:
Start a conversation.
Teach your child about the best way to greet someone.
For example, you might teach your child to say something like, “Hi, Christy! How are you today?” Continue a conversation.
Teach your child how to ask open ended questions to keep the other person talking, and about how to be a good listener.
For example, you might teach your child to ask questions like, “How is your family?” or “How do you like your new teacher?” or “How was your vacation?” End a conversation.
Teach your child how to tell when a conversation is reaching its natural end.
For example, the person might start looking around or go silent.
When this happens, teach your child to say something like, “It was fun talking with you! Have a great day!” and then leave. , It is important to explain to children that some topics of conversation are off limits.
Otherwise, your child may unintentionally offend someone while talking with them.
Make sure that you explain to your child what is and is not appropriate for conversations.
Some topics to teach your child that they should avoid include finances, politics, religion, death, sex, a person’s age or appearance, and gossip.Your child might not know enough about some of these topics yet to worry about them, so consider what suggestions would be the most helpful for your child.
For example, you might say to your child, "I know you're really interested in money right now, but we don't want to ask Mr.
Bob about how much money he makes because it might embarrass him.
You can ask him about what does at his job."
Children may get excited and start speaking loudly indoors, or some children might not speak loudly enough for others to hear them.
Teach your child about appropriate voice levels to help them know when they are being too loud, or not loud enough.
For example, you might say to your child, “When you are outside, you can yell and talk loudly.
But when you are inside, it is important to speak in a lower voice.” Or, “I know that you might think you are speaking loud enough for other people to hear you, but you are being so quiet that some people might not be able to hear.
Can you try to speak a little louder so we can hear what you have to say?” , Talk about your own feelings, and encourage your child to talk about theirs.
This will help them not only communicate clearly, but teach them that expressing and listening to other’s feelings are important skills.Use sentences that start with "I," instead of "You" to effectively convey your feelings to your child.
For example, say "I am upset that you didn't finish your homework" instead of "You make me upset when you don't finish your homework." When your child says something like, “I don’t like that!” ask them why they feel that way.
Have an open dialogue about their feelings.
If your child is truly uncomfortable sharing, do not force them to talk.
Do, however, try to ask them why they feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings. , Ask questions of your child, and encourage them to ask questions of others.
This helps your child understand that speaking with others is about engaging them.
It encourages listening as well interacting with new people.
When your child is speaking with someone, encourage them to ask questions by saying things like, “Why don’t you ask your friend what they are going to do after school today?” When your child is talking with you, ask questions like, “How was school today?” or “Do you like what you’re learning in your homework?” , Use your regular playtime to show your child how to communicate clearly and effectively.
Create storytelling games with your kid where you develop a narrative and dialogue together, and encourage them to practice their new communication skills while you play.Use dolls, action figures, sock puppets, stuffed animals, or whatever else your child likes to play with to help them with their communication.
Create characters and have conversations.
Take turns talking and listening to your child in 10 or 15 second increments.
For example, listen to your child while they talk for 15 seconds, then make your child listen to you while you talk for 15 seconds. , If you have a shy or quiet child, help them learn how to be assertive.
Ask them what they want or need, and let them know that it is ok to express their needs because if they don’t say something, no one will know what they want.Find certain situations where you can let your child call the shots.
Allow them to pick what they want for dinner one night, or give them control of the remote for an hour on the weekend.
Encourage your child to be comfortable with themselves.
Avoid statements that encourage peer worship by comparing your child to one of their friends or classmates.
Instead, focus on their good traits and let them know it’s ok to be who they are.
If your child comes to you with a specific situation such as a bully, help coach them through their specific scenario to figure out the best way for them to stand up for themselves.
About the Author
Edward James
Edward James has dedicated 4 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Edward focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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