How to Throw a Wedding Shower
Check to see if the coast is clear., Talk to the bride., Choose a location., Decide on a date., Compile the guest list.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Check to see if the coast is clear.
No, you're not sneaking out of the house; you're checking with the bride's friends and family to see if a shower is already planned.
It isn't a good idea to throw two parties if the same people will be at both! Consider these possibilities:
If you are the bride-to-be's co-worker and would like to throw an office bridal shower, you're less likely to run into interference.
If you're the bride's mother, feel free to plan a shower for your daughter; however, be aware that in some parts of the world it is considered to be general wedding etiquette that the bride's mother does not plan a bridal shower as it is thought better left to others to plan and that it lacks taste to have the mother doing this.
Note, however, that more people are ignoring this little "rule" and doing it anyway.
It's up to your discretion. -
Step 2: Talk to the bride.
That is, if you don't want a shower that's a complete surprise.
With all the general fuss of a wedding, it may be best to talk to the bride, though.
You want to avoid inviting people to the shower who aren't invited to the reception and you want to make sure the shower is in line with the bride-to-be's wishes.
Does she want a co-ed shower? What dates and times are best for her? Where would she want it at? If you like the idea of the bride being minimally involved, just ask about the guest list and date
-- she probably figures she's having a shower anyway.
The theme and details can be up to you and the rest of the bridesmaids or close family. , Now comes the best part! Whether it's the beach, a restaurant, or fancy hotel, the location of the shower can change everything.
If you do decide to go with a specific theme, your location should reflect this.
You probably wouldn't want to bring the bride's elderly aunts to a smoke-filled bar and grill.
Sometimes the shower is held at a relatives' home, or the maid of honor's, or even the bride's place.
Consider a nice picnic area, a yacht, or a bonfire/cookout in the backyard.
Your location should match both the bride's personality and your budget. , Traditionally, the wedding shower isn't held until a month before the wedding, but these days people are less inclined to follow this norm and choose a date to suit their own needs.
Just be sure that the couple has had the opportunity to tell everyone about the wedding first.
You don't want to step on anyone's toes! Make sure that all the necessary people will be available for this day.
Once you have found a day that works for everyone, call the venue, if you're not having it at someone's home, to make reservations. , Ask for some names from the bride herself, as well as from the mother of the bride.
If another shower is being planned, try not to invite those same people to yours.
It's ridiculous to expect someone to buy two
-— and sometimes even three
-— gifts for one person! Also, beware of inviting those who aren't also invited to the wedding itself.
Just because you thought the bride was still friends with Laura from second grade, does not mean that she is.
You will only offend people if you're not careful. -
Step 3: Choose a location.
-
Step 4: Decide on a date.
-
Step 5: Compile the guest list.
Detailed Guide
No, you're not sneaking out of the house; you're checking with the bride's friends and family to see if a shower is already planned.
It isn't a good idea to throw two parties if the same people will be at both! Consider these possibilities:
If you are the bride-to-be's co-worker and would like to throw an office bridal shower, you're less likely to run into interference.
If you're the bride's mother, feel free to plan a shower for your daughter; however, be aware that in some parts of the world it is considered to be general wedding etiquette that the bride's mother does not plan a bridal shower as it is thought better left to others to plan and that it lacks taste to have the mother doing this.
Note, however, that more people are ignoring this little "rule" and doing it anyway.
It's up to your discretion.
That is, if you don't want a shower that's a complete surprise.
With all the general fuss of a wedding, it may be best to talk to the bride, though.
You want to avoid inviting people to the shower who aren't invited to the reception and you want to make sure the shower is in line with the bride-to-be's wishes.
Does she want a co-ed shower? What dates and times are best for her? Where would she want it at? If you like the idea of the bride being minimally involved, just ask about the guest list and date
-- she probably figures she's having a shower anyway.
The theme and details can be up to you and the rest of the bridesmaids or close family. , Now comes the best part! Whether it's the beach, a restaurant, or fancy hotel, the location of the shower can change everything.
If you do decide to go with a specific theme, your location should reflect this.
You probably wouldn't want to bring the bride's elderly aunts to a smoke-filled bar and grill.
Sometimes the shower is held at a relatives' home, or the maid of honor's, or even the bride's place.
Consider a nice picnic area, a yacht, or a bonfire/cookout in the backyard.
Your location should match both the bride's personality and your budget. , Traditionally, the wedding shower isn't held until a month before the wedding, but these days people are less inclined to follow this norm and choose a date to suit their own needs.
Just be sure that the couple has had the opportunity to tell everyone about the wedding first.
You don't want to step on anyone's toes! Make sure that all the necessary people will be available for this day.
Once you have found a day that works for everyone, call the venue, if you're not having it at someone's home, to make reservations. , Ask for some names from the bride herself, as well as from the mother of the bride.
If another shower is being planned, try not to invite those same people to yours.
It's ridiculous to expect someone to buy two
-— and sometimes even three
-— gifts for one person! Also, beware of inviting those who aren't also invited to the wedding itself.
Just because you thought the bride was still friends with Laura from second grade, does not mean that she is.
You will only offend people if you're not careful.
About the Author
Michael Ruiz
Experienced content creator specializing in lifestyle guides and tutorials.
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