How to Win over Your Boyfriend's Mum
Do your homework., Greet her warmly., Bring a small gift., Pay attention to your appearance., Have good manners., Avoid PDA., Remember that she is probably nervous, too.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Do your homework.
Ask your boyfriend to tell you about his mum.
Find out her background, her hobbies, conversation suggestions, what to avoid talking about… everything you can learn about her! Go into your first encounter knowing what to expect.
Here are some things you might want to find out:
Where she grew up What she does/did for a living Hobbies and interests Food preferences (if your first meeting will involve a meal) Definite conversation no-nos (don’t bring up dogs if she recently lost her beloved pet) -
Step 2: Greet her warmly.
Say hello with a pleasant smile and a friendly tone of voice.
Make good eye contact when you greet her — don't look at the ground or avoid her gaze.
Shake hands (or even give her a hug, if she’s the hugging type), but do not feel compelled to do anything you are not comfortable doing. , It does not have to be anything fancy, nor should it be anything too personal.If you bring a food item, make sure she doesn’t have any food allergies.
Some ideas include:
Flowers Chocolates or candy A bottle of wine (find out from your boyfriend beforehand if she drinks alcohol) A regional food specialty unique to your area Homemade baked goods Something you made, if you are crafty or artistic , Dress appropriately.
While you shouldn't try to hide who you are, it might be a good idea to dress on the conservative side when you first meet her.
You shouldn't feel like you're being fake or hiding too much of your personality — if you are proud of your tattoos, don't feel you need to cover them up — but try and present yourself in the best possible light.Keep your makeup simple and subtle, if you wear it.
Make sure your hair isn’t in your face.
You will look more confident. , While good manners aren’t necessarily memorable, bad manners will stand out.
Smile, be polite, and make sure your table manners are on point.
No chewing with your mouth open!Watch your language.
The first meeting is not the time to let your boyfriend’s mother know you curse like a sailor! Pay compliments.
While you don’t want to come across as insincere or ingratiating, a well-timed, genuine compliment will be appreciated.
For example, if his mum has a beautiful home, you can compliment her taste and say, “I think Greg is a great decorator, too.
He must have inherited your good taste!” , Public Displays of Affection are not appropriate for the first time you meet a parent.
Remember that PDA might make his parents uncomfortable, just as seeing his parents' PDA might be uncomfortable for you.
This time is for you to begin developing a relationship with your boyfriend’s mum, not about you and your boyfriend.
Hands off for a few hours!, She is meeting her son’s significant other and likely wants to make a good impression on you.
Smile and help her feel at ease. -
Step 3: Bring a small gift.
-
Step 4: Pay attention to your appearance.
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Step 5: Have good manners.
-
Step 6: Avoid PDA.
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Step 7: Remember that she is probably nervous
Detailed Guide
Ask your boyfriend to tell you about his mum.
Find out her background, her hobbies, conversation suggestions, what to avoid talking about… everything you can learn about her! Go into your first encounter knowing what to expect.
Here are some things you might want to find out:
Where she grew up What she does/did for a living Hobbies and interests Food preferences (if your first meeting will involve a meal) Definite conversation no-nos (don’t bring up dogs if she recently lost her beloved pet)
Say hello with a pleasant smile and a friendly tone of voice.
Make good eye contact when you greet her — don't look at the ground or avoid her gaze.
Shake hands (or even give her a hug, if she’s the hugging type), but do not feel compelled to do anything you are not comfortable doing. , It does not have to be anything fancy, nor should it be anything too personal.If you bring a food item, make sure she doesn’t have any food allergies.
Some ideas include:
Flowers Chocolates or candy A bottle of wine (find out from your boyfriend beforehand if she drinks alcohol) A regional food specialty unique to your area Homemade baked goods Something you made, if you are crafty or artistic , Dress appropriately.
While you shouldn't try to hide who you are, it might be a good idea to dress on the conservative side when you first meet her.
You shouldn't feel like you're being fake or hiding too much of your personality — if you are proud of your tattoos, don't feel you need to cover them up — but try and present yourself in the best possible light.Keep your makeup simple and subtle, if you wear it.
Make sure your hair isn’t in your face.
You will look more confident. , While good manners aren’t necessarily memorable, bad manners will stand out.
Smile, be polite, and make sure your table manners are on point.
No chewing with your mouth open!Watch your language.
The first meeting is not the time to let your boyfriend’s mother know you curse like a sailor! Pay compliments.
While you don’t want to come across as insincere or ingratiating, a well-timed, genuine compliment will be appreciated.
For example, if his mum has a beautiful home, you can compliment her taste and say, “I think Greg is a great decorator, too.
He must have inherited your good taste!” , Public Displays of Affection are not appropriate for the first time you meet a parent.
Remember that PDA might make his parents uncomfortable, just as seeing his parents' PDA might be uncomfortable for you.
This time is for you to begin developing a relationship with your boyfriend’s mum, not about you and your boyfriend.
Hands off for a few hours!, She is meeting her son’s significant other and likely wants to make a good impression on you.
Smile and help her feel at ease.
About the Author
Tyler Bishop
Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.
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