How to Accept a Close Friend's Sexual Orientation
Stay calm., Tell your friend that you still care about them., Thank your friend for trusting you., Avoid trivializing your friend’s orientation., Talk about it as long as your friend needs to., Don’t make the conversation about you.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Stay calm.
Don’t freak out, even if you feel shocked or upset.
Take a deep breath and remember how you felt about your friend before they confided in you.
Your friend is still the same person, so there’s no reason to treat them differently now.To calm down, close your eyes and silently count to
10.
Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
You may even ask your friend for a moment to yourself to listen to music or walk around the block. -
Step 2: Tell your friend that you still care about them.
Your friend is probably feeling nervous and uncertain right now, so reassure them that you value their friendship as much as ever.
If you know they’re comfortable with being touched, give them a hug to show your acceptance and love.You might reassure your friend by saying, "I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything.
I still care about you just as much as I always have."
Coming out can be scary, especially for people who are just coming to terms with their own sexuality.
Tell your friend you’re glad they trusted you enough to confide in you.Say something like, "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.
Thanks for coming and talking to me.
I really admire your honesty and bravery."
Don’t say something like, “It’s probably just a phase,” or, “Are you sure?” This will make your friend feel like you aren’t taking them seriously.Most people do a lot of thinking and soul-searching before they come out to anyone.
Your friend is probably quite certain about their orientation, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. , A good conversation can help both you and your friend process your feelings and attitudes.
Listen to your friend, and try to understand where they’re coming from.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something, but if your friend seems uncomfortable with a topic, respect their limits.For example, you might want to ask, “How long have you known you’re gay?” or “Can I do anything to support you?” , Focus on your friend’s feelings and needs.
You might feel shaken up right now, but your friend is still going through a lot more than you are.
You’ll have plenty of time later to reflect and work on your own feelings.It’s okay to share your feelings, especially if your friend asks you to.
However, don’t make your feelings the central focus of your conversation.
For instance, if you’re feeling conflicted, you could say, “It will take some time for me to get used to this, but you’re still my best friend.
Do you need anything from me right now?” -
Step 3: Thank your friend for trusting you.
-
Step 4: Avoid trivializing your friend’s orientation.
-
Step 5: Talk about it as long as your friend needs to.
-
Step 6: Don’t make the conversation about you.
Detailed Guide
Don’t freak out, even if you feel shocked or upset.
Take a deep breath and remember how you felt about your friend before they confided in you.
Your friend is still the same person, so there’s no reason to treat them differently now.To calm down, close your eyes and silently count to
10.
Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
You may even ask your friend for a moment to yourself to listen to music or walk around the block.
Your friend is probably feeling nervous and uncertain right now, so reassure them that you value their friendship as much as ever.
If you know they’re comfortable with being touched, give them a hug to show your acceptance and love.You might reassure your friend by saying, "I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything.
I still care about you just as much as I always have."
Coming out can be scary, especially for people who are just coming to terms with their own sexuality.
Tell your friend you’re glad they trusted you enough to confide in you.Say something like, "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.
Thanks for coming and talking to me.
I really admire your honesty and bravery."
Don’t say something like, “It’s probably just a phase,” or, “Are you sure?” This will make your friend feel like you aren’t taking them seriously.Most people do a lot of thinking and soul-searching before they come out to anyone.
Your friend is probably quite certain about their orientation, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. , A good conversation can help both you and your friend process your feelings and attitudes.
Listen to your friend, and try to understand where they’re coming from.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something, but if your friend seems uncomfortable with a topic, respect their limits.For example, you might want to ask, “How long have you known you’re gay?” or “Can I do anything to support you?” , Focus on your friend’s feelings and needs.
You might feel shaken up right now, but your friend is still going through a lot more than you are.
You’ll have plenty of time later to reflect and work on your own feelings.It’s okay to share your feelings, especially if your friend asks you to.
However, don’t make your feelings the central focus of your conversation.
For instance, if you’re feeling conflicted, you could say, “It will take some time for me to get used to this, but you’re still my best friend.
Do you need anything from me right now?”
About the Author
Joseph Thomas
Brings years of experience writing about crafts and related subjects.
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