How to Approach a Girl if You're Shy and Don't Know What to Say

Practice by talking to people in stores., Move on to small interactions., Smile and make eye contact.

3 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Practice by talking to people in stores.

    An important step in overcoming your shyness is practicing with other people to increase your comfort with conversations.

    There are many scenarios in which you can interact with strangers in a pleasant and pressure free environment to develop your social confidence.Approach customer service associates at retail stores to ask for help finding something or to ask an opinion on a product.

    Say hi to cashiers when cashing out at the grocery store and ask them how their day has been going.

    Be polite but be brief.

    The intention is not to strike up a long lasting conversation but rather to develop experience interacting with people you don’t already know.
  2. Step 2: Move on to small interactions.

    Once you have strengthened your social skills through brief conversations with strangers, you can move on to having interactions with other people that aren’t necessarily the girl you like.

    By starting with other people, the pressure won’t be as great as you don’t need to worry about the possibility of rejection.Approach people at work or in social occasions that aren’t the girl you like so you can get practice making conversation with people.

    Comment on something to engage people in conversation.

    Try approaching someone at a party and saying, “do you know who plays this song? I really like it.” Approach someone at work or school to discuss a recent assignment and steer the conversation toward more personal matters.

    Try saying something like, “I was going to start working on that last night but then I got caught up in a great show about dolphins.” Practicing conversations in low pressure environments can help you overcome the fear of rejection and get more comfortable talking to people. , Regardless of who you are talking to, smiling can make you seem friendlier and more personable.

    Making occasional eye contact can demonstrate your confidence, but avoid making prolonged eye contact as that can be unnerving to some people.Practice smiling and looking people in the eye when you introduce yourself.

    It may be difficult at first but doing so can make you seem friendly and confident, which are both things girls often find attractive.

    Smiling can also serve to make you feel better about the situation that you’re in.

    Studies have shown that smiling alters the chemicals in your brain to make you feel happier and more confident.
  3. Step 3: Smile and make eye contact.

Detailed Guide

An important step in overcoming your shyness is practicing with other people to increase your comfort with conversations.

There are many scenarios in which you can interact with strangers in a pleasant and pressure free environment to develop your social confidence.Approach customer service associates at retail stores to ask for help finding something or to ask an opinion on a product.

Say hi to cashiers when cashing out at the grocery store and ask them how their day has been going.

Be polite but be brief.

The intention is not to strike up a long lasting conversation but rather to develop experience interacting with people you don’t already know.

Once you have strengthened your social skills through brief conversations with strangers, you can move on to having interactions with other people that aren’t necessarily the girl you like.

By starting with other people, the pressure won’t be as great as you don’t need to worry about the possibility of rejection.Approach people at work or in social occasions that aren’t the girl you like so you can get practice making conversation with people.

Comment on something to engage people in conversation.

Try approaching someone at a party and saying, “do you know who plays this song? I really like it.” Approach someone at work or school to discuss a recent assignment and steer the conversation toward more personal matters.

Try saying something like, “I was going to start working on that last night but then I got caught up in a great show about dolphins.” Practicing conversations in low pressure environments can help you overcome the fear of rejection and get more comfortable talking to people. , Regardless of who you are talking to, smiling can make you seem friendlier and more personable.

Making occasional eye contact can demonstrate your confidence, but avoid making prolonged eye contact as that can be unnerving to some people.Practice smiling and looking people in the eye when you introduce yourself.

It may be difficult at first but doing so can make you seem friendly and confident, which are both things girls often find attractive.

Smiling can also serve to make you feel better about the situation that you’re in.

Studies have shown that smiling alters the chemicals in your brain to make you feel happier and more confident.

About the Author

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Benjamin Cole

A passionate writer with expertise in home improvement topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

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