How to Be Confident Around Guys
Ask about their interests., Be humorous and witty., Compliment them., Spend time with men you are comfortable with., Rehearse how the conversation will go., Don’t over talk., Be a good listener.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask about their interests.
You can begin to become confident around guys by starting a conversation with them.
There is no better way to start a conversation than by asking someone about their interests.
For example, start a conversation by asking them what sports or video games they like to play.
You can also ask more generally what their interests are—do they like going to the movies or concerts?You can start by saying, “This past weekend I saw that new horror movie, X.
It was great! Have any of you seen it yet?” Try to stick to topics that interest these particular guys to keep the conversation flowing.
Listen to what they say and respond in a positive manner, for example, “Oh, sounds like a great game! I wish I had the time to watch it this past weekend.” -
Step 2: Be humorous and witty.
Keep things light by adding humor to the conversation.
You can be humorous by sharing something funny that happened to you, especially if it happened that day.
Or, perhaps something funny happened in class the other day; re-tell the story.
On the other hand, if someone else is telling a joke or relating a funny story, laugh heartily (and genuinely) at their joke.If you’re good at telling jokes, try telling a joke; however, try to avoid insensitive jokes, and try to avoid making too many jokes.
This can be off-putting. , Everyone loves to get compliments.
Compliment athletes on a great game they played over the weekend.
For example, “You guys played great last Friday.
It looks like you guys are really dedicated.” You can also compliment guys on their clothes or shoes, for example, “Those are awesome shoes.”If you are really bold, compliment a guy on his looks.
For example, “Wow, Dave, you have been looking great these past couple of weeks.
Have you been working out?” , You can practice interacting with and relating to guys by spending more time with guys you are comfortable around.
Spend more time with male family members (your dad, brother, or male cousin) or male acquaintances, like your friend’s brother.While you are hanging out with them, try to take note of the things they talk about.
You can also ask them for advice, for example, “What are some good conversation starters with guys?” or, “What kind of traits do guys find appealing or attractive in people, as friends or as something more?” , You can ensure your confidence the next time you are around guys by rehearsing what you will say.
For example, make a list of conversation starters and practice saying them in front of the mirror.
Pay attention to your facial expressions to make sure they are friendly and inviting, as opposed to timid or shy.
If want to add humor to your conversations, practice telling your jokes so when the occasion arises you can tell them confidently. , When interacting with guys, it could be tempting to talk too much, especially if you are nervous.
If you find yourself talking too much, try to redirect the conversation by asking one of the guys a question, for example “What do you think?" or “How do you think the Eagles played last night?”.
You could even admit your mistake in order to open the conversation up to let someone else speak.
For example, “I’m sorry.
I’ve been talking way too much.
What do you guys want to talk about?” Hint: you know you are over-talking when you are the only one talking and everyone is quiet.
You can also tell that you are over-talking when people start to show signs of disinterest, for example by looking at their watch or phone repeatedly, or looking away and avoiding eye contact. , Asking people about themselves and letting them have a chance to speak is only one part of the equation — you need to listen, too! When the other person is talking, remove all distractions (put away your phone, turn off the TV, etc.), make eye contact, and don't think about how you're going to respond, because then you will no longer be listening.
You aren't going to make a very good impression if you keep looking at your phone or constantly asking the person to repeat themselves or saying, "Huh? What did you say?" Show that you are listening by nodding and occasionally making sounds when appropriate (like "Uh-huh") to show you are following.
Ask follow-up questions, even just "Wow, can you tell me more about that?" -
Step 3: Compliment them.
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Step 4: Spend time with men you are comfortable with.
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Step 5: Rehearse how the conversation will go.
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Step 6: Don’t over talk.
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Step 7: Be a good listener.
Detailed Guide
You can begin to become confident around guys by starting a conversation with them.
There is no better way to start a conversation than by asking someone about their interests.
For example, start a conversation by asking them what sports or video games they like to play.
You can also ask more generally what their interests are—do they like going to the movies or concerts?You can start by saying, “This past weekend I saw that new horror movie, X.
It was great! Have any of you seen it yet?” Try to stick to topics that interest these particular guys to keep the conversation flowing.
Listen to what they say and respond in a positive manner, for example, “Oh, sounds like a great game! I wish I had the time to watch it this past weekend.”
Keep things light by adding humor to the conversation.
You can be humorous by sharing something funny that happened to you, especially if it happened that day.
Or, perhaps something funny happened in class the other day; re-tell the story.
On the other hand, if someone else is telling a joke or relating a funny story, laugh heartily (and genuinely) at their joke.If you’re good at telling jokes, try telling a joke; however, try to avoid insensitive jokes, and try to avoid making too many jokes.
This can be off-putting. , Everyone loves to get compliments.
Compliment athletes on a great game they played over the weekend.
For example, “You guys played great last Friday.
It looks like you guys are really dedicated.” You can also compliment guys on their clothes or shoes, for example, “Those are awesome shoes.”If you are really bold, compliment a guy on his looks.
For example, “Wow, Dave, you have been looking great these past couple of weeks.
Have you been working out?” , You can practice interacting with and relating to guys by spending more time with guys you are comfortable around.
Spend more time with male family members (your dad, brother, or male cousin) or male acquaintances, like your friend’s brother.While you are hanging out with them, try to take note of the things they talk about.
You can also ask them for advice, for example, “What are some good conversation starters with guys?” or, “What kind of traits do guys find appealing or attractive in people, as friends or as something more?” , You can ensure your confidence the next time you are around guys by rehearsing what you will say.
For example, make a list of conversation starters and practice saying them in front of the mirror.
Pay attention to your facial expressions to make sure they are friendly and inviting, as opposed to timid or shy.
If want to add humor to your conversations, practice telling your jokes so when the occasion arises you can tell them confidently. , When interacting with guys, it could be tempting to talk too much, especially if you are nervous.
If you find yourself talking too much, try to redirect the conversation by asking one of the guys a question, for example “What do you think?" or “How do you think the Eagles played last night?”.
You could even admit your mistake in order to open the conversation up to let someone else speak.
For example, “I’m sorry.
I’ve been talking way too much.
What do you guys want to talk about?” Hint: you know you are over-talking when you are the only one talking and everyone is quiet.
You can also tell that you are over-talking when people start to show signs of disinterest, for example by looking at their watch or phone repeatedly, or looking away and avoiding eye contact. , Asking people about themselves and letting them have a chance to speak is only one part of the equation — you need to listen, too! When the other person is talking, remove all distractions (put away your phone, turn off the TV, etc.), make eye contact, and don't think about how you're going to respond, because then you will no longer be listening.
You aren't going to make a very good impression if you keep looking at your phone or constantly asking the person to repeat themselves or saying, "Huh? What did you say?" Show that you are listening by nodding and occasionally making sounds when appropriate (like "Uh-huh") to show you are following.
Ask follow-up questions, even just "Wow, can you tell me more about that?"
About the Author
Nicholas James
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow practical skills tutorials.
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