How to Be Friends with a Recent Ex Immediately
Make sure that you and your ex-partner are happy to remain friends., If you want your ex back as a partner, don't get desperate., Try not to think about the good memories of you and your partner., Try to keep things as normal as possible with your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make sure that you and your ex-partner are happy to remain friends.
This doesn't work if one party wants to be isolated for a while, or feels the need to ignore the other.
This step is absolutely crucial; talk it out if necessary.
While this is an extremely emotional time, it is important to ensure you are both certain on where the other stands. -
Step 2: If you want your ex back as a partner
This is very hard to do, but not impossible.
If you feel like giving in and begging your ex to take you back, give a caring friend your phone, or generally avoid contact with you ex, if only for the moment.
The desperation will pass and you'll feel better for not letting your emotions talk for you.
There is a reason you broke up; getting back together immediately will not be healthy for either of you in the long run. , Try not to think about the sadness of the break up, either.
You need to focus on the current day and nothing else; give yourself goals and try to achieve them, like tell yourself you will clean your room or finish that last chapter of that book you wanted to read. , If this means texting them asking how they are or what they're doing, that's okay (but make sure you pick up the signs, you will know if they don't want to be disturbed).
It is pretty important here to keep a normal routine. , Maybe even take a few days for yourself to cry whenever you need to, without judgment or feeling embarrassed.
Take a sick day from work, or skip school or uni for a day.
Grab a box of tissues, some chocolate, and a friend or a stuffed animal, and go to town.
Crying is healing, and after a day or two you will not want to cry any more. , All that crying and stressing can play havoc with your body, and it is essential that you look after yourself as much as possible. , Go to bed early and get a sleep in.
Sleep is very, very good. , If you think about something upsetting, come up with a con for it, e.g: "I'll miss sharing a bed" could instead be "But I don't have to fight for the blankets!" Thinking is what can hurt you the most, so be careful. , Deep breaths work like a charm.
If they are as keen as you are to continue being friends, they will be trying to do the same thing. , Be polite, answer their questions, and ask questions if you want to.
Try to stay away from touchy topics, as both of you will still be upset; that is normal.
Smile as much as possible.
They will know you're upset, but it's good to act like you're not. , That way you will both be more inclined to keep seeing each other as friends, and that's the overall goal! -
Step 3: don't get desperate.
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Step 4: Try not to think about the good memories of you and your partner.
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Step 5: Try to keep things as normal as possible with your ex.
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Step 6: If you need to cry
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Step 7: do it.
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Step 8: Eat as if you don't feel ill
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Step 9: and drink water like you're dehydrated.
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Step 10: Relax a little.
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Step 11: Try not to stress about little niggling thoughts.
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Step 12: When you see your ex
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Step 13: remember to keep calm.
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Step 14: Don't go out of your way to be too friendly.
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Step 15: Make every meeting with your ex a pleasant experience.
Detailed Guide
This doesn't work if one party wants to be isolated for a while, or feels the need to ignore the other.
This step is absolutely crucial; talk it out if necessary.
While this is an extremely emotional time, it is important to ensure you are both certain on where the other stands.
This is very hard to do, but not impossible.
If you feel like giving in and begging your ex to take you back, give a caring friend your phone, or generally avoid contact with you ex, if only for the moment.
The desperation will pass and you'll feel better for not letting your emotions talk for you.
There is a reason you broke up; getting back together immediately will not be healthy for either of you in the long run. , Try not to think about the sadness of the break up, either.
You need to focus on the current day and nothing else; give yourself goals and try to achieve them, like tell yourself you will clean your room or finish that last chapter of that book you wanted to read. , If this means texting them asking how they are or what they're doing, that's okay (but make sure you pick up the signs, you will know if they don't want to be disturbed).
It is pretty important here to keep a normal routine. , Maybe even take a few days for yourself to cry whenever you need to, without judgment or feeling embarrassed.
Take a sick day from work, or skip school or uni for a day.
Grab a box of tissues, some chocolate, and a friend or a stuffed animal, and go to town.
Crying is healing, and after a day or two you will not want to cry any more. , All that crying and stressing can play havoc with your body, and it is essential that you look after yourself as much as possible. , Go to bed early and get a sleep in.
Sleep is very, very good. , If you think about something upsetting, come up with a con for it, e.g: "I'll miss sharing a bed" could instead be "But I don't have to fight for the blankets!" Thinking is what can hurt you the most, so be careful. , Deep breaths work like a charm.
If they are as keen as you are to continue being friends, they will be trying to do the same thing. , Be polite, answer their questions, and ask questions if you want to.
Try to stay away from touchy topics, as both of you will still be upset; that is normal.
Smile as much as possible.
They will know you're upset, but it's good to act like you're not. , That way you will both be more inclined to keep seeing each other as friends, and that's the overall goal!
About the Author
Evelyn Roberts
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in creative arts and beyond.
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