How to Be Friends with Someone Emotionally Unable to Be an Equally Supportive Friend
Identify traits of emotionally unavailable friends., Pay attention who is contacting whom more often., Notice if there’s a difference in how much he knows about you and how much you know about him., Look for consistent traits in your friend’s...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify traits of emotionally unavailable friends.
Find actions or behaviors of your friend that may show him to be emotionally unavailable.
Some signs of emotional unavailability may be that your friend:
Does not maintain steady contact.
Your friend may only occasionally keep in contact with you.
Prefers casual friendship.
If your friend keeps most discussions on the surface, he may want a more casual friendship than you do.
Does not share personal information.
Your friend may be unwilling to share or is secretive about themselves. -
Step 2: Pay attention who is contacting whom more often.
If you are always reaching out to them to talk or hang out, but they do not reciprocate, that may indicate a problem in your friendship.If you are contacting your friend more often than they contact you, they may be emotionally unavailable or dealing with a stressful time.
It is also possible that your friend is a bit more of a loner than you are, and doesn't feel the need to spend as much time with others.
This isn't necessarily something you should take personally. , Friendships are about sharing in each other's lives.
Do you always end up listening to your friend's problems, but when you have an issue, he's nowhere to be found? Or do you tend to overshare, burdening your friend with too much personal information? Think about how much you share with your friend.
Try to make it pretty even. , Your friend may have some major personality traits that show her to be emotionally unavailable.
Understand if your friend’s emotionally unavailability is temporary or permanent.
She may be going through a difficult time or be depressed.
Talk to her to see if anything’s going on.
If not, she may be unavailable on a more permanent basis.If your friend is prone to anger, is arrogant, or evasive when you talk to her, she may not be open to an emotionally supportive relationship., Emotionally unavailable people may hide their true feelings or actions.Don’t put up with someone lying to you.
You deserve to have a fair and honest friendship.
Know that emotionally unavailable people may be lying because they are scared of being too open or sharing too much. , Your friend may have other friends or a significant other.
These relationships tell you if your friend is emotionally unavailable to anyone else.Look at your friend’s closest friends.
If he does not have a many close friends, this may tell you something about his ability to connect with others.
Know your friend’s significant other or past romantic relationships.
Emotionally unavailable people may have formed only basic bonds with others.
Consider whether he has had few romantic relationships or if those relationships ended poorly.
See how your friend thinks about or acts towards himself.
He may be arrogant or evasive, but this may hide self-esteem problems. -
Step 3: Notice if there’s a difference in how much he knows about you and how much you know about him.
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Step 4: Look for consistent traits in your friend’s personality.
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Step 5: Realize if you’re being lied to or deceived.
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Step 6: Look at his past friendships and relationships.
Detailed Guide
Find actions or behaviors of your friend that may show him to be emotionally unavailable.
Some signs of emotional unavailability may be that your friend:
Does not maintain steady contact.
Your friend may only occasionally keep in contact with you.
Prefers casual friendship.
If your friend keeps most discussions on the surface, he may want a more casual friendship than you do.
Does not share personal information.
Your friend may be unwilling to share or is secretive about themselves.
If you are always reaching out to them to talk or hang out, but they do not reciprocate, that may indicate a problem in your friendship.If you are contacting your friend more often than they contact you, they may be emotionally unavailable or dealing with a stressful time.
It is also possible that your friend is a bit more of a loner than you are, and doesn't feel the need to spend as much time with others.
This isn't necessarily something you should take personally. , Friendships are about sharing in each other's lives.
Do you always end up listening to your friend's problems, but when you have an issue, he's nowhere to be found? Or do you tend to overshare, burdening your friend with too much personal information? Think about how much you share with your friend.
Try to make it pretty even. , Your friend may have some major personality traits that show her to be emotionally unavailable.
Understand if your friend’s emotionally unavailability is temporary or permanent.
She may be going through a difficult time or be depressed.
Talk to her to see if anything’s going on.
If not, she may be unavailable on a more permanent basis.If your friend is prone to anger, is arrogant, or evasive when you talk to her, she may not be open to an emotionally supportive relationship., Emotionally unavailable people may hide their true feelings or actions.Don’t put up with someone lying to you.
You deserve to have a fair and honest friendship.
Know that emotionally unavailable people may be lying because they are scared of being too open or sharing too much. , Your friend may have other friends or a significant other.
These relationships tell you if your friend is emotionally unavailable to anyone else.Look at your friend’s closest friends.
If he does not have a many close friends, this may tell you something about his ability to connect with others.
Know your friend’s significant other or past romantic relationships.
Emotionally unavailable people may have formed only basic bonds with others.
Consider whether he has had few romantic relationships or if those relationships ended poorly.
See how your friend thinks about or acts towards himself.
He may be arrogant or evasive, but this may hide self-esteem problems.
About the Author
Ann Burns
Specializes in breaking down complex cooking topics into simple steps.
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