How to Be Less Annoying Towards Friends
Respect boundaries., Don't talk about people behind their backs; especially if you have not stated your issue with the person in the first place., Do not go around poking people constantly., Do not impose, or appear uninvited., Do not go through...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Respect boundaries.
Everybody has boundaries you need to learn what they are and try to avoid crossing them.
Boundaries vary widely from culture to culture and even from individual to individual. -
Step 2: Don't talk about people behind their backs; especially if you have not stated your issue with the person in the first place.
This is especially true of those who are related to you, or are your friends or significant other. , In fact, don't touch them at all if they don't like it.
Of course if they are a good friend of yours and they don't mind, then by all means have fun.
Otherwise, keep your hands to yourself. , Try to control your emotions and not be too pushy.
Give people the space they need.
Don't call every single day. , Even if their things are not private, they may still feel violated if you touch things that are in their personal space.
If you wish to borrow something, ask for permission first and allow the person to give the item to you. , Avoid butting into a conversation by (for example) saying, "What are you talking about?" If you hear someone talking about something with another person, and you only catch the last sentence, leave it alone. , Just because you're confident doesn't mean you have to act like you're better than anyone else.
Don't do or say things that might let you appear to be arrogant, like bragging about your wealth or success.
There are some people who need to prove that they, and only they, had the ultimate experience.
This is known as “One-upping” your friends.
This is so universally hated that people actually will laugh at you if they see you doing this consistently.
Bragging does not make your friends think you are any greater, it makes you look pathetic, it makes friends sick of you and it is human nature to avoid braggarts. ,,, Remember the world does not revolve around you.
If you complain too much, others will avoid you.
This also goes for constantly insulting yourself, which is not humble
- it's another form of self-absorption.
It's normal to feel bad once in a while, and to express your discontent.
But, you also need to know when to get over it and move on.
Read up on how to be optimistic. , Also, do not loudly sing or play music which others are likely to find irritating.
Consider how your actions are likely to affect the people around you, and you will gain their respect. , Don't peek down people's shirts for instance, don’t talk about biological functions in public.
Cover your nose and mouth with your elbow when you sneeze or cough.
Take care to brush and/or floss after meals so as not to inflict your breath on others.
Take a shower everyday and put on clean clothes every day. , When someone's having a bad day, don't try to hang around them to make them feel better (unless of course they ask).
If you were having a bad day, you wouldn't want someone bugging you with failing attempts at pick-me-ups.
Ask if they would like your reassurance, but remember that "no" means "no".
Only talk about what is bugging them if they bring it up. , Constantly repeating the same action over and over again (such as making inappropriate sounds or pulling someone's hair, tapping your pencil on the table, chewing ice with your mouth open, tapping your foot against something, etc.), isn't the right way of 'getting attention'.
If a person says 'stop'
that means 'stop'.
If you continue without stopping, you might lose a friend. , If you are older than 3 years old copying is not funny.
When I say “copy” I mean this kind of copy: “Why are you copying me?” “Why are you copying me?” , These are pointless, and will always annoy and irritate your friends. , Most people dislike arguing.
Simply state that you disagree and refrain from setting yourself up as an expert on the subject.
A "know-it-all" stance gets on peoples' nerves.
Of course, you can have intelligent debates/discussions with a person/people provided the circumstances are appropriate and the other person is willing to engage.
Never force someone into a debate.
If someone tells you that they would rather not discuss a topic, drop it. , It’s interesting as long as everybody contributes freely and openly to subjects/topics of mutual interest.
The moment any one person wants to control/hijack the flow, the others are put off.
If you're talking constantly, others will get frustrated and quit trying to communicate with you.
As a general rule, always listen more than you speak.
Think about what you say before you say it.
Avoid interrupting someone in the middle of a thought, even if it just jogged your memory of something to say.
Remember the famous quotation, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt".
Listen actively.
Understand others’ viewpoints.
It would give you new ideas to think about, and certainly make you a better conversationalist. , Speaking too quietly can annoy your friends, they will need to keep asking you “What did you say?” if you speak to quickly and don’t enunciate your words, they will just make it a habit of nodding and smiling when they talk to you, because they are tired of saying “Sorry I didn’t hear you, say that again.” , Most times this isn’t something that gets on peoples nerves, but if it happens multiple times in a single conversation, it’ll irritate the second friend to the point of him wanting never to talk to you. ,,, This is extremely important.
However, if you scoff at everything and act too cool for anything or anybody, you will be known as someone who doesn’t know how to have fun, and you will be remembered as a dull person.
There is a natural balance between the two extremes. , Be understanding. , Apologize when you upset someone.
You messed up, just accept it and be humble enough to apologize.
This helps people trust you more. ,, If they have their license they know how to drive, if not, why are you in the car with them driving? , If you offer someone a food that contains peanuts and they refuse there is no need to say “Oh yeah, that’s right, you are allergic to peanuts.” Or if someone is afraid of heights and you keep asking” Why can’t you just go on the roller coaster?” they will become seriously annoyed. , Input is fine and natural, but interrupting specifically for the sake of correcting someone for something they did wrong is by far the lamest way to listen to a story. , However, this is taken too far by some people.
Relentless insulting and name calling isn’t a way to bond with a person. , It is very unattractive and annoying to hang out with someone who ignores principles and ethical standards.
Be conscientious of the beliefs others have. , (b) Act overly sensitive and constantly annoy your friends by making a huge deal out of something that didn’t really matter and getting hurt by things that are very minuscule.
The solutions to both of these problems are: (a) Stop acting like a jerk. (b) Stop reading into things so much, the world doesn’t revolve around you. , Even if your words are thoughtful and important, your tone of voice may indicate frustration, crankiness, or a condescending attitude, or flippancy or arrogance or any number of things which give folks the wrong impression and causes them to hate your guts.
Learn to read facial reactions and body movements.
Pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of those around you and work to immediately identify and stop whatever you're doing that is annoying others. -
Step 3: Do not go around poking people constantly.
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Step 4: Do not impose
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Step 5: or appear uninvited.
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Step 6: Do not go through people's stuff.
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Step 7: Mind your own business.
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Step 8: Be humble.
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Step 9: Don’t be someone who always seeks attention
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Step 10: and needs to be the center of attention all the time.
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Step 11: Don't frequently correct bad grammar/spelling
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Step 12: speech blunders
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Step 13: or inaccuracies of others because most people don't like being corrected.
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Step 14: Don't complain all the time.
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Step 15: Be aware if you are standing in doorways while having a conversation
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Step 16: standing in the middle of an area where people are trying to walk (in stores
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Step 17: or the airport)
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Step 18: or if your children are being obnoxious in a public place.
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Step 19: Be polite and hygienic.
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Step 20: Don't overcrowd.
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Step 21: Avoid unnecessary repetition.
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Step 22: Don't copy people.
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Step 23: Don’t send or forward those “Copy and paste” statuses or “forward to ten people” e-mails
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Step 24: or text messages.
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Step 25: Don't argue needlessly.
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Step 26: Conversations are really two-way streets
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Step 27: and communications flow both ways
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Step 28: with two or more people sending and receiving messages.
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Step 29: Don’t mumble.
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Step 30: Making an inside joke or reference with a friend while a second friend is present can make the second friend feel left out
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Step 31: if you do this then you should tell the other friend what you are talking about or try to explain what you mean.
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Step 32: If you’re doing something no one else around you is doing and you know they don't think what you’re doing is a good thing then you need to stop.
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Step 33: Don’t ask many basic questions about sports
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Step 34: watch and learn slowly and ask a few questions per game.
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Step 35: Don’t act hyper or overly enthusiastic about many things.
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Step 36: If someone wrongs you
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Step 37: forgive them
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Step 38: don’t hold it against them and continue to bring it up just to make them feel bad or get them back.
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Step 39: Don’t pretend you are perfect.
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Step 40: Don’t patronize your friends; don’t ever act condescending or disrespectful to people.
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Step 41: Don’t act like the friend’s parent when driving
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Step 42: warning them about obstacles and dangers.
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Step 43: Don’t continually remind someone of something he or she is not able to do.
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Step 44: Don’t stop someone who is telling a story excitedly to point out something they did wrong.
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Step 45: Between friends there is harmless teasing and such
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Step 46: this is very common and acceptable.
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Step 47: A person with absolutely no moral boundaries will repel those around them.
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Step 48: The two worst ways to get on someone’s nerves are to: (a) Act insensitive and therefore hurt their feelings.
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Step 49: Be mindful of how the things you say are perceived by others.
Detailed Guide
Everybody has boundaries you need to learn what they are and try to avoid crossing them.
Boundaries vary widely from culture to culture and even from individual to individual.
This is especially true of those who are related to you, or are your friends or significant other. , In fact, don't touch them at all if they don't like it.
Of course if they are a good friend of yours and they don't mind, then by all means have fun.
Otherwise, keep your hands to yourself. , Try to control your emotions and not be too pushy.
Give people the space they need.
Don't call every single day. , Even if their things are not private, they may still feel violated if you touch things that are in their personal space.
If you wish to borrow something, ask for permission first and allow the person to give the item to you. , Avoid butting into a conversation by (for example) saying, "What are you talking about?" If you hear someone talking about something with another person, and you only catch the last sentence, leave it alone. , Just because you're confident doesn't mean you have to act like you're better than anyone else.
Don't do or say things that might let you appear to be arrogant, like bragging about your wealth or success.
There are some people who need to prove that they, and only they, had the ultimate experience.
This is known as “One-upping” your friends.
This is so universally hated that people actually will laugh at you if they see you doing this consistently.
Bragging does not make your friends think you are any greater, it makes you look pathetic, it makes friends sick of you and it is human nature to avoid braggarts. ,,, Remember the world does not revolve around you.
If you complain too much, others will avoid you.
This also goes for constantly insulting yourself, which is not humble
- it's another form of self-absorption.
It's normal to feel bad once in a while, and to express your discontent.
But, you also need to know when to get over it and move on.
Read up on how to be optimistic. , Also, do not loudly sing or play music which others are likely to find irritating.
Consider how your actions are likely to affect the people around you, and you will gain their respect. , Don't peek down people's shirts for instance, don’t talk about biological functions in public.
Cover your nose and mouth with your elbow when you sneeze or cough.
Take care to brush and/or floss after meals so as not to inflict your breath on others.
Take a shower everyday and put on clean clothes every day. , When someone's having a bad day, don't try to hang around them to make them feel better (unless of course they ask).
If you were having a bad day, you wouldn't want someone bugging you with failing attempts at pick-me-ups.
Ask if they would like your reassurance, but remember that "no" means "no".
Only talk about what is bugging them if they bring it up. , Constantly repeating the same action over and over again (such as making inappropriate sounds or pulling someone's hair, tapping your pencil on the table, chewing ice with your mouth open, tapping your foot against something, etc.), isn't the right way of 'getting attention'.
If a person says 'stop'
that means 'stop'.
If you continue without stopping, you might lose a friend. , If you are older than 3 years old copying is not funny.
When I say “copy” I mean this kind of copy: “Why are you copying me?” “Why are you copying me?” , These are pointless, and will always annoy and irritate your friends. , Most people dislike arguing.
Simply state that you disagree and refrain from setting yourself up as an expert on the subject.
A "know-it-all" stance gets on peoples' nerves.
Of course, you can have intelligent debates/discussions with a person/people provided the circumstances are appropriate and the other person is willing to engage.
Never force someone into a debate.
If someone tells you that they would rather not discuss a topic, drop it. , It’s interesting as long as everybody contributes freely and openly to subjects/topics of mutual interest.
The moment any one person wants to control/hijack the flow, the others are put off.
If you're talking constantly, others will get frustrated and quit trying to communicate with you.
As a general rule, always listen more than you speak.
Think about what you say before you say it.
Avoid interrupting someone in the middle of a thought, even if it just jogged your memory of something to say.
Remember the famous quotation, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt".
Listen actively.
Understand others’ viewpoints.
It would give you new ideas to think about, and certainly make you a better conversationalist. , Speaking too quietly can annoy your friends, they will need to keep asking you “What did you say?” if you speak to quickly and don’t enunciate your words, they will just make it a habit of nodding and smiling when they talk to you, because they are tired of saying “Sorry I didn’t hear you, say that again.” , Most times this isn’t something that gets on peoples nerves, but if it happens multiple times in a single conversation, it’ll irritate the second friend to the point of him wanting never to talk to you. ,,, This is extremely important.
However, if you scoff at everything and act too cool for anything or anybody, you will be known as someone who doesn’t know how to have fun, and you will be remembered as a dull person.
There is a natural balance between the two extremes. , Be understanding. , Apologize when you upset someone.
You messed up, just accept it and be humble enough to apologize.
This helps people trust you more. ,, If they have their license they know how to drive, if not, why are you in the car with them driving? , If you offer someone a food that contains peanuts and they refuse there is no need to say “Oh yeah, that’s right, you are allergic to peanuts.” Or if someone is afraid of heights and you keep asking” Why can’t you just go on the roller coaster?” they will become seriously annoyed. , Input is fine and natural, but interrupting specifically for the sake of correcting someone for something they did wrong is by far the lamest way to listen to a story. , However, this is taken too far by some people.
Relentless insulting and name calling isn’t a way to bond with a person. , It is very unattractive and annoying to hang out with someone who ignores principles and ethical standards.
Be conscientious of the beliefs others have. , (b) Act overly sensitive and constantly annoy your friends by making a huge deal out of something that didn’t really matter and getting hurt by things that are very minuscule.
The solutions to both of these problems are: (a) Stop acting like a jerk. (b) Stop reading into things so much, the world doesn’t revolve around you. , Even if your words are thoughtful and important, your tone of voice may indicate frustration, crankiness, or a condescending attitude, or flippancy or arrogance or any number of things which give folks the wrong impression and causes them to hate your guts.
Learn to read facial reactions and body movements.
Pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of those around you and work to immediately identify and stop whatever you're doing that is annoying others.
About the Author
Gregory Peterson
Enthusiastic about teaching hobbies techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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