How to Become More Assertive During Your College Years
Speak up in class., Set boundaries with a roommate., Assert yourself in dating situations., Stand up to peer pressure.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Speak up in class.
Many people in college find it difficult to have the confidence to speak up in class.
You may feel intimidated by your classmates or professor, or you may be afraid to mess up with the wrong answer.
Class participation is important for your education, not only so you learn how to confidently express your ideas and knowledge, but many professors incorporate it into your grade.If you need your professor to explain or repeat something, raise your hand and ask them to explain what they just said.
You should make sure that you understand what your professor is saying.
Do your class readings and listen to your professor's lectures so you can answer questions when they are asked.
If you know the material the professor is covering, that will give you more confidence to speak up and answer the question.
Just remember not to answer every question or be a know-it-all.
This may take frustrate your professor.Start asserting yourself in class by raising your hand once each class when you know the answer.
Sometimes, your professor will just ask for a comment about a topic, which has no right or wrong answer.
That is a good time to speak up.
Remember that giving the wrong answer in class is not a bad thing.
Part of learning in college is speaking up and learning how to discuss in an academic setting.
The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be speaking in class. -
Step 2: Set boundaries with a roommate.
Sharing space with another person means you need to assert yourself as you set boundaries.
This may be uncomfortable if you have never had to assert yourself before.
When you first move in, you and your roommate need to establish what items you share and what you won't.For example, you may decide to share expenses for food.
You may say, "You can eat my cereal and milk, but next time you go out, will you pick up replacements?" or, "I'll buy this week's snack food if you'll buy next week's." Your living space should be shared equally.
If your roommate has their stuff in your area, you may want to say, "I don't mind if you have your stuff in our room, but it's taking up space in my area.
Can you move it back to your space?" or, "We need to discuss sharing this space.
I think my stuff has less space.
Can we look into this?" You and your roommate may need to discuss when to have friends or significant others over.
For example, you may need to say, "I don't mind if your boyfriend/girlfriend comes over, but I would prefer them not to spend the night," or, "I respect that you want your friends over until late, but can you only do that on weekends? I have early classes and need to go to bed." You may need to do this for other situations as well, such as with borrowing clothes, washing dishes, sharing toiletries, and quiet time. , College is a great time to date and learn what you like romantically and sexually; however, dating and experimenting does not mean you should allow others to make you do things you don't want to do.
If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation or do not want to do an activity, firmly say "no." If you are not interested in seeing someone again, let them know firmly but politely.
Don't be afraid if the other person won't like it.For example, if you are on a date and the other person wants to go farther sexually than you want, you have the right to stop whenever you want.
You shouldn't worry about whether or not the other person will get upset.
You should only do what makes you comfortable.
If the other person likes you, they will respect that.
Say, "I like you, but I am not comfortable with that.
Let's continue watching the movie," or, "Don't do that," "I don't like that," or "Take me home, please." If you do not want to see someone again, say, "You're a very nice person, but I don't think this is going to work out romantically.
I am not interested in another date."
When you are in college, you may find yourself in situations where you have to stand up to others.
You may have to assert yourself to say no if you don't want to do something.
You may have to stand up for what's right if people are saying hurtful or harmful things to another person.
Practice speaking up for what you believe in when you feel strongly about something.For example, if you are at a party and someone offers you drugs, you can simply say, "No, thank you." If they keep pressuring you, you can say, "No, I'm really not interested." If you hear someone talking badly about someone, try saying, "I do not appreciate your derogatory language about that person.
Can you not talk that way?" or, "That kind of talk is offensive and harmful.
Please do not talk that way." -
Step 3: Assert yourself in dating situations.
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Step 4: Stand up to peer pressure.
Detailed Guide
Many people in college find it difficult to have the confidence to speak up in class.
You may feel intimidated by your classmates or professor, or you may be afraid to mess up with the wrong answer.
Class participation is important for your education, not only so you learn how to confidently express your ideas and knowledge, but many professors incorporate it into your grade.If you need your professor to explain or repeat something, raise your hand and ask them to explain what they just said.
You should make sure that you understand what your professor is saying.
Do your class readings and listen to your professor's lectures so you can answer questions when they are asked.
If you know the material the professor is covering, that will give you more confidence to speak up and answer the question.
Just remember not to answer every question or be a know-it-all.
This may take frustrate your professor.Start asserting yourself in class by raising your hand once each class when you know the answer.
Sometimes, your professor will just ask for a comment about a topic, which has no right or wrong answer.
That is a good time to speak up.
Remember that giving the wrong answer in class is not a bad thing.
Part of learning in college is speaking up and learning how to discuss in an academic setting.
The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be speaking in class.
Sharing space with another person means you need to assert yourself as you set boundaries.
This may be uncomfortable if you have never had to assert yourself before.
When you first move in, you and your roommate need to establish what items you share and what you won't.For example, you may decide to share expenses for food.
You may say, "You can eat my cereal and milk, but next time you go out, will you pick up replacements?" or, "I'll buy this week's snack food if you'll buy next week's." Your living space should be shared equally.
If your roommate has their stuff in your area, you may want to say, "I don't mind if you have your stuff in our room, but it's taking up space in my area.
Can you move it back to your space?" or, "We need to discuss sharing this space.
I think my stuff has less space.
Can we look into this?" You and your roommate may need to discuss when to have friends or significant others over.
For example, you may need to say, "I don't mind if your boyfriend/girlfriend comes over, but I would prefer them not to spend the night," or, "I respect that you want your friends over until late, but can you only do that on weekends? I have early classes and need to go to bed." You may need to do this for other situations as well, such as with borrowing clothes, washing dishes, sharing toiletries, and quiet time. , College is a great time to date and learn what you like romantically and sexually; however, dating and experimenting does not mean you should allow others to make you do things you don't want to do.
If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation or do not want to do an activity, firmly say "no." If you are not interested in seeing someone again, let them know firmly but politely.
Don't be afraid if the other person won't like it.For example, if you are on a date and the other person wants to go farther sexually than you want, you have the right to stop whenever you want.
You shouldn't worry about whether or not the other person will get upset.
You should only do what makes you comfortable.
If the other person likes you, they will respect that.
Say, "I like you, but I am not comfortable with that.
Let's continue watching the movie," or, "Don't do that," "I don't like that," or "Take me home, please." If you do not want to see someone again, say, "You're a very nice person, but I don't think this is going to work out romantically.
I am not interested in another date."
When you are in college, you may find yourself in situations where you have to stand up to others.
You may have to assert yourself to say no if you don't want to do something.
You may have to stand up for what's right if people are saying hurtful or harmful things to another person.
Practice speaking up for what you believe in when you feel strongly about something.For example, if you are at a party and someone offers you drugs, you can simply say, "No, thank you." If they keep pressuring you, you can say, "No, I'm really not interested." If you hear someone talking badly about someone, try saying, "I do not appreciate your derogatory language about that person.
Can you not talk that way?" or, "That kind of talk is offensive and harmful.
Please do not talk that way."
About the Author
Denise Harris
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow DIY projects tutorials.
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