How to Choose the Right Friends

Make sure your friends offer emotional support and guidance., Determine if you have a good balance of give and take., Decide if your friends bring out the best in you., Determine if you can communicate effectively with your friends., Consider if you...

5 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Make sure your friends offer emotional support and guidance.

    Good friends will be willing to support you on a consistent basis, through your high points and your low points.

    Your friends should offer to support you during any difficult emotional times and be there for you in a real, genuine way.

    They may also offer guidance and advice when you need it.You should consider if you feel supported by your friends and if so, in what ways.

    Maybe you remember a time where you were going through a rough break up and your friends checked in on you every day.

    Maybe your friends also tried to distract you from your emotions by taking you out for fun outings or by spending time with you one on one.

    Good friends may also offer good advice and guidance during a confusing or hard time.

    Your friends should only offer advice when you ask for it and be willing to support you, even if they do not agree with your decision at the time.

    They may not like your decision to move away for school, for example, but they should still try to support you the best they can, as a friend.
  2. Step 2: Determine if you have a good balance of give and take.

    Good friendships also have a good balance of giving and taking, where you feel mutually supported.

    You should try to cultivate friendships where there is a balance of give and take, and where you do not feel you are giving or taking more than the other person.Some people are natural givers, where they will do anything to help someone and support them.

    Some people are also natural takers, where they will take up someone else’s time and energy to fulfill their own needs.

    You should look for friends who can maintain a balance between these two extremes. , Your friends should also encourage you to develop into the best version of yourself you can be.

    They should help you focus on how you can be yourself and achieve your goals.

    Your friends should act as your own personal cheer squad, where they proudly encourage you to go after what you want.For example, maybe you are determined to get into medical school.

    Your friends may encourage you by asking about your studies and by helping you prepare your applications.

    They may also help you relieve the stress of the applications by taking you out to dinner and celebrate you when you get into school. , Another key aspect of a good friendship is positive communication, where you can share your thoughts and feelings without limits.

    You should be able to be yourself around your friends and feel you can share your opinions with them.

    You should not feel you have to censor yourself or keep quiet about your thoughts around your friends.

    However, you should also feel comfortable being called out or challenged by your friends.

    Strong-willed friends with strong opinions can help you cultivate a better sense of self-control and learn better from your mistakes.You should not be turned off by friends who challenge your opinion or call out a comment you make that seems problematic.

    Good friends will be willing to tell you when you are right and when you are wrong, as this will lead to healthier and more honest discussions.

    You should be comfortable doing this around your friends as well, as you should feel you can express your opinions, even if it seems counter to what your friends have to say., Good friendships are built on mutual respect and mutual trust.

    You should feel you can trust your friends with private information and trust that they will support you, even when you’re not around.

    Good friends will stand up for you and support you in company of strangers and other friends.You should also cultivate respect for your friends.

    Though you may not share all the same interests or preferences, you should still respect their choices and the way they conduct themselves around others.

    You do not necessarily have to be into the same things, but you should show respect and consideration for each other.
  3. Step 3: Decide if your friends bring out the best in you.

  4. Step 4: Determine if you can communicate effectively with your friends.

  5. Step 5: Consider if you trust and respect your friends.

Detailed Guide

Good friends will be willing to support you on a consistent basis, through your high points and your low points.

Your friends should offer to support you during any difficult emotional times and be there for you in a real, genuine way.

They may also offer guidance and advice when you need it.You should consider if you feel supported by your friends and if so, in what ways.

Maybe you remember a time where you were going through a rough break up and your friends checked in on you every day.

Maybe your friends also tried to distract you from your emotions by taking you out for fun outings or by spending time with you one on one.

Good friends may also offer good advice and guidance during a confusing or hard time.

Your friends should only offer advice when you ask for it and be willing to support you, even if they do not agree with your decision at the time.

They may not like your decision to move away for school, for example, but they should still try to support you the best they can, as a friend.

Good friendships also have a good balance of giving and taking, where you feel mutually supported.

You should try to cultivate friendships where there is a balance of give and take, and where you do not feel you are giving or taking more than the other person.Some people are natural givers, where they will do anything to help someone and support them.

Some people are also natural takers, where they will take up someone else’s time and energy to fulfill their own needs.

You should look for friends who can maintain a balance between these two extremes. , Your friends should also encourage you to develop into the best version of yourself you can be.

They should help you focus on how you can be yourself and achieve your goals.

Your friends should act as your own personal cheer squad, where they proudly encourage you to go after what you want.For example, maybe you are determined to get into medical school.

Your friends may encourage you by asking about your studies and by helping you prepare your applications.

They may also help you relieve the stress of the applications by taking you out to dinner and celebrate you when you get into school. , Another key aspect of a good friendship is positive communication, where you can share your thoughts and feelings without limits.

You should be able to be yourself around your friends and feel you can share your opinions with them.

You should not feel you have to censor yourself or keep quiet about your thoughts around your friends.

However, you should also feel comfortable being called out or challenged by your friends.

Strong-willed friends with strong opinions can help you cultivate a better sense of self-control and learn better from your mistakes.You should not be turned off by friends who challenge your opinion or call out a comment you make that seems problematic.

Good friends will be willing to tell you when you are right and when you are wrong, as this will lead to healthier and more honest discussions.

You should be comfortable doing this around your friends as well, as you should feel you can express your opinions, even if it seems counter to what your friends have to say., Good friendships are built on mutual respect and mutual trust.

You should feel you can trust your friends with private information and trust that they will support you, even when you’re not around.

Good friends will stand up for you and support you in company of strangers and other friends.You should also cultivate respect for your friends.

Though you may not share all the same interests or preferences, you should still respect their choices and the way they conduct themselves around others.

You do not necessarily have to be into the same things, but you should show respect and consideration for each other.

About the Author

J

Jacqueline Martin

Jacqueline Martin has dedicated 4 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Jacqueline focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.

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