How to Communicate in an Assertive Manner
Use the word I., Maintain eye contact., Have a good posture., Express body language., Avoid ambiguity., Remember that silence is a tool, not an enemy., Use appropriate language., If you feel tears or anger coming on, breathe very deeply from the...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Use the word I.
Avoid using You, as this stops you from allowing control of the listener.
Using omniscience removes control of the speaker, you, because "You" is only used to express indecisiveness. -
Step 2: Maintain eye contact.
You should be staring at your listeners' eyes when speaking.
Averting your eyes constantly or having no eye contact altogether will show timidness or discomfort.
Eye contact should not be a 'staring contest'.
Breaking eye contact during unimportant parts during a conversation presents a natural environment with you and your listener.
Staring without natural break in the eye contact may be interpreted as hostility. , Think of yourself stretching from your head to your toes, sitting or standing.
Pay attention to the neck, shoulder and upper back regions.
Keep your back upright and your shoulder pushed back naturally.
You should not be tense, but you should be mindful of your body and its composure. , Make gestures that give a sense of warmth and openness on your behalf—open palms, circular arm movements, smiles, wrinkles of the nose, hugs, etc. , Explain yourself thoroughly and try not to create obscure responses. , Learn to be comfortable with silence and use pauses.
This is also useful for public speaking.
If you tend to say Umm, You know, Like, Yeah, or elongate the last word preceding an unintended pause, practise using pauses instead of muttering.
People who subconsciously say auxiliaries tend to dislike silence.
Speak clearly.
Mumbling, muttering, and circular sentences do nothing to further communication. , Do not swear or talk rudely.
Obscenities do not show assertiveness—it shows crude behaviour and irresponsibility of your understanding.
This method of understanding propriety is called savoir-faire.
Be careful about the tone of your voice.
Keep it moderated. , This deep breathing will calm you in as little as four to five breaths. , If you are too soft, the other person will think you are trying to hide yourself and may ignore you.
If you are too loud, the other person may become scared or intimidated by your voice.
The person you are speaking to may even get annoyed and retaliate, or interpret hostility, which is more aggressive than assertive. , No one else is responsible for your behaviour and your personality. , Focus on how you feel. -
Step 3: Have a good posture.
-
Step 4: Express body language.
-
Step 5: Avoid ambiguity.
-
Step 6: Remember that silence is a tool
-
Step 7: not an enemy.
-
Step 8: Use appropriate language.
-
Step 9: If you feel tears or anger coming on
-
Step 10: breathe very deeply from the stomach—you should be able to see your stomach rise out and pull back in.
-
Step 11: Be mindful of your voice.
-
Step 12: The most important thing is to believe that you are responsible for yourself.
-
Step 13: Express your emotions clearly.
Detailed Guide
Avoid using You, as this stops you from allowing control of the listener.
Using omniscience removes control of the speaker, you, because "You" is only used to express indecisiveness.
You should be staring at your listeners' eyes when speaking.
Averting your eyes constantly or having no eye contact altogether will show timidness or discomfort.
Eye contact should not be a 'staring contest'.
Breaking eye contact during unimportant parts during a conversation presents a natural environment with you and your listener.
Staring without natural break in the eye contact may be interpreted as hostility. , Think of yourself stretching from your head to your toes, sitting or standing.
Pay attention to the neck, shoulder and upper back regions.
Keep your back upright and your shoulder pushed back naturally.
You should not be tense, but you should be mindful of your body and its composure. , Make gestures that give a sense of warmth and openness on your behalf—open palms, circular arm movements, smiles, wrinkles of the nose, hugs, etc. , Explain yourself thoroughly and try not to create obscure responses. , Learn to be comfortable with silence and use pauses.
This is also useful for public speaking.
If you tend to say Umm, You know, Like, Yeah, or elongate the last word preceding an unintended pause, practise using pauses instead of muttering.
People who subconsciously say auxiliaries tend to dislike silence.
Speak clearly.
Mumbling, muttering, and circular sentences do nothing to further communication. , Do not swear or talk rudely.
Obscenities do not show assertiveness—it shows crude behaviour and irresponsibility of your understanding.
This method of understanding propriety is called savoir-faire.
Be careful about the tone of your voice.
Keep it moderated. , This deep breathing will calm you in as little as four to five breaths. , If you are too soft, the other person will think you are trying to hide yourself and may ignore you.
If you are too loud, the other person may become scared or intimidated by your voice.
The person you are speaking to may even get annoyed and retaliate, or interpret hostility, which is more aggressive than assertive. , No one else is responsible for your behaviour and your personality. , Focus on how you feel.
About the Author
Christine Baker
Christine Baker has dedicated 11 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Christine focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: