How to Console an Inconsolable Friend
Acknowledge their grief., Make yourself available., Ask how you can help., Be empathetic., Try to gently cheer them up.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Acknowledge their grief.
One of the most important things you can do to console a friend is to acknowledge and legitimize their grief.
Even saying something as simple as “I am so sorry for your loss” will let them know that you know that they’re dealing with something painful., Simply saying that you are there for them, whatever they need, is a great way of consoling your friend without being pushy.
Just letting them know that you're there if they need you with an open invitation to listen to them vent or cry can help your friend know that they're not alone in their sadness. , Something small like running an errand for them so they don’t have to worry about doing it or watching their kids so they can take a nap or have some down time can work wonders for their outlook and stress levels.
If you ask how you can help and they say that you can’t, don’t be discouraged.
Remember that your friend is hurting, and the fact that you even offered to help won’t go unnoticed.If you know of something you can do for your friend under the radar, then do it.
For example, if your friend is struggling with bills after losing their job, then casually stop by with lunch one day.
Under the guise of eating lunch, you can spend time with them to cheer them up and also subtly help them out by providing a meal when money is tight. , Tell your friend that you empathize with their grief.
Don’t tell them to just deal with it or get over it.
Hurting their feelings while they’re down will only compound their sadness.
Listen to them attentively, and say that while you aren’t in their shoes, you’re sorry for what they’re going through., Small gestures like stopping by your friend’s home with a meal or sending flowers to let them know you’re thinking of them are great ways to help console your friend.
Avoid being pushy or implying that they should be grateful for your gestures.
Simply making the effort to do something small to brighten their day can make a huge difference.
Knowing you were thinking about them and you cared enough to act on it will mean a lot to them, even if they’re too sad to say so.
There's a fine line between trying to cheer your friend up with small, thoughtful gesture like a meal or flowers and bulldozing their feelings with forced positivity.
They might not be at a place where they can feel happy, so don't force the issue if they still seem sad after your effort and don't take it personally. -
Step 2: Make yourself available.
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Step 3: Ask how you can help.
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Step 4: Be empathetic.
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Step 5: Try to gently cheer them up.
Detailed Guide
One of the most important things you can do to console a friend is to acknowledge and legitimize their grief.
Even saying something as simple as “I am so sorry for your loss” will let them know that you know that they’re dealing with something painful., Simply saying that you are there for them, whatever they need, is a great way of consoling your friend without being pushy.
Just letting them know that you're there if they need you with an open invitation to listen to them vent or cry can help your friend know that they're not alone in their sadness. , Something small like running an errand for them so they don’t have to worry about doing it or watching their kids so they can take a nap or have some down time can work wonders for their outlook and stress levels.
If you ask how you can help and they say that you can’t, don’t be discouraged.
Remember that your friend is hurting, and the fact that you even offered to help won’t go unnoticed.If you know of something you can do for your friend under the radar, then do it.
For example, if your friend is struggling with bills after losing their job, then casually stop by with lunch one day.
Under the guise of eating lunch, you can spend time with them to cheer them up and also subtly help them out by providing a meal when money is tight. , Tell your friend that you empathize with their grief.
Don’t tell them to just deal with it or get over it.
Hurting their feelings while they’re down will only compound their sadness.
Listen to them attentively, and say that while you aren’t in their shoes, you’re sorry for what they’re going through., Small gestures like stopping by your friend’s home with a meal or sending flowers to let them know you’re thinking of them are great ways to help console your friend.
Avoid being pushy or implying that they should be grateful for your gestures.
Simply making the effort to do something small to brighten their day can make a huge difference.
Knowing you were thinking about them and you cared enough to act on it will mean a lot to them, even if they’re too sad to say so.
There's a fine line between trying to cheer your friend up with small, thoughtful gesture like a meal or flowers and bulldozing their feelings with forced positivity.
They might not be at a place where they can feel happy, so don't force the issue if they still seem sad after your effort and don't take it personally.
About the Author
Douglas Davis
Committed to making hobbies accessible and understandable for everyone.
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