How to Deal With a Mean Friend
Take stock of the things that your friend does that bother you., Deal with your emotions., Determine whether or not the problem warrants a confrontation., Develop strategies for situations that do not require confrontation.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Take stock of the things that your friend does that bother you.
When you are alone, think about the things you’re your friend does and identify the reasons why they bother you.
Identifying these issues in the relationship will help you to work out strategies for how to cope and, hopefully, improve the relationship.
Does she often cancel plans with you at the last minute? Does she yell at you? Does she flirt with that guy that you like, even after you told her that you like him? If you have trouble identifying exactly what your friend does that bothers you so much, you may want to discuss your friend with another friend or someone else that you trust. -
Step 2: Deal with your emotions.
After you have identified the things that your friend does that bother you, think about how those things make you feel.
It is important to acknowledge the pain and other emotions that your friend has caused you and deal with those emotions in a healthy manner.
If you refuse to acknowledge your emotions and deal with them, they may erupt in an unexpected or inappropriate manner. , Confronting your friend will be difficult for you and even more difficult for him or her.
Before you decide to confront the person, think about whether or not the issue is a big enough deal to require a confrontation.
If you confront the person and the issue is rather minor, you may end up looking like you are nit-picking and that can cause more problems in the relationship. , Not all problems are worth confronting your friend about, but you should still prepare yourself to handle common situations that you think may not be worth a confrontation.
Having strategies in place can also help you to feel more in control when your mean friend says or does things that upset you.
If your friend often cancels plans with you at the last minute, make backup plans to lessen the damage of her canceling on you.
If certain topics cause your friend to make rude or insulting comments, avoid discussing those topics with him or her. -
Step 3: Determine whether or not the problem warrants a confrontation.
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Step 4: Develop strategies for situations that do not require confrontation.
Detailed Guide
When you are alone, think about the things you’re your friend does and identify the reasons why they bother you.
Identifying these issues in the relationship will help you to work out strategies for how to cope and, hopefully, improve the relationship.
Does she often cancel plans with you at the last minute? Does she yell at you? Does she flirt with that guy that you like, even after you told her that you like him? If you have trouble identifying exactly what your friend does that bothers you so much, you may want to discuss your friend with another friend or someone else that you trust.
After you have identified the things that your friend does that bother you, think about how those things make you feel.
It is important to acknowledge the pain and other emotions that your friend has caused you and deal with those emotions in a healthy manner.
If you refuse to acknowledge your emotions and deal with them, they may erupt in an unexpected or inappropriate manner. , Confronting your friend will be difficult for you and even more difficult for him or her.
Before you decide to confront the person, think about whether or not the issue is a big enough deal to require a confrontation.
If you confront the person and the issue is rather minor, you may end up looking like you are nit-picking and that can cause more problems in the relationship. , Not all problems are worth confronting your friend about, but you should still prepare yourself to handle common situations that you think may not be worth a confrontation.
Having strategies in place can also help you to feel more in control when your mean friend says or does things that upset you.
If your friend often cancels plans with you at the last minute, make backup plans to lessen the damage of her canceling on you.
If certain topics cause your friend to make rude or insulting comments, avoid discussing those topics with him or her.
About the Author
Natalie Hill
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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